The Student Room Group

Being Muslim and gay

I am a practicing Muslim and I love my faith and tend to be good and do good as much as I can. I have been dealing with tough family problems for quite long along with another factor. I am gay and closeted. People say that it’s ones own choice. But how can it be if I felt like a girl since I was 2 or had my first crush when I was 4. Didn’t know what was happening until later. I have tried to abstain from everything but can’t anymore. I still force myself but am unable to. There is no one I can discuss this with. I am on mental health medication as well. People say it’s a test as I’ve read on discussions and one must try to curb desires. But those who are not going through it don’t know. Sometimes it’s as little as having someone to embrace. I would much appreciate a Muslim opinion as it means a lot to me.
Thanks

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i’m muslim and u just need stop. firstly stop caring bout love then ull sort urself. simple. ur not gay then.
Have you tried istikhara?
1) Hindus and Muslims still do not get along in the LGBT community. It's wrong to constantly force the two communities together. Hindus also have to deal with homophobia just as bad as the Muslims and the media shouldn't pander to the idea that the Muslims are the underdog.

2) A lot of South Indians sexually dislike North Indians and Middle Easterners. Mainstream media basically hates South Indians, and by this I include the idea that we shouldn't be grouped in with Pakistanis but treated like a separate group.

3) Most Muslims in the UK are Pakistani which are probably the most hated community in the UK. It's ridiculous to suggest that a Sri Lankan and a Pakistani should be grouped together when they probably hate each other more than any other pairing.
(edited 5 years ago)
i'm a muslim, and am still in the process of becoming firm in faith. it's been difficult, and i'll be honest - there was a stage in my life where i truly believed i was bisexual, and closeted. i guess i'm not, as if i was ever interested in a girl, it was only sexual fantasies.

i'll tell you honestly - it IS a test. probably one of the hardest ones from allah. my advice to you is to remain strong in your faith, and don't let this become too much for you. however controversial this might seem - i'm sure your feelings about women will change as time passes on. i suggest reading quran and understanding more about islam - it'll really open your mind and heal you spiritually, wallahi. all i can say to you is to pray to allah to guide you, and help you restrain and control your feelings. inshallah things get better. don't feel condemned because of your feelings - there are any people in the same position as you. don't let it drive you away from islam.

i know two girls who are bisexual and muslim, and unfortunately it seems like they've both turned away from islam, feeling attacked by other muslims and what people say about homosexuality. don't let that be you. the only advice i can give you, without making it seem like i'm condemning you and forcing you to be straight, is to pray to allah. he is all forgiving and the most merciful. and remember: no one is punished for their thoughts. allah swt does not punish anyone for thinking sinful things - it's human nature to have nafs. inshallah, you will be rewarded for your struggle.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
i’m muslim and u just need stop. firstly stop caring bout love then ull sort urself. simple. ur not gay then.


I dont understand what you mean. Sorry
Reply 6
How shall I? Isn’t that used to know what’s better in two choices?
Original post by Anonymous
Have you tried istikhara?
Reply 7
I’m sorry where are you getting at?
Original post by wombledon
1) Hindus and Muslims still do not get along in the LGBT community. It's wrong to constantly force the two communities together. Hindus also have to deal with homophobia just as bad as the Muslims and the media shouldn't pander to the idea that the Muslims are the underdog.

2) A lot of South Indians sexually dislike North Indians and Middle Easterners. Mainstream media basically hates South Indians, and by this I include the idea that we shouldn't be grouped in with Pakistanis but treated like a separate group.

3) Most Muslims in the UK are Pakistani which are probably the most hated community in the UK. It's ridiculous to suggest that a Sri Lankan and a Pakistani should be grouped together when they probably hate each other more than any other pairing.
Reply 8
Thanks for your answer. I understand what you’re trying to say but I suppose having to deal with something for 21 years is a phenomenon that’s not going to change. The thing is that i am not bisexual. Cause that gives a much better choice. I have been thinking for years
Original post by Anonymous
i'm a muslim, and am still in the process of becoming firm in faith. it's been difficult, and i'll be honest - there was a stage in my life where i truly believed i was bisexual, and closeted. i guess i'm not, as if i was ever interested in a girl, it was only sexual fantasies.

i'll tell you honestly - it IS a test. probably one of the hardest ones from allah. my advice to you is to remain strong in your faith, and don't let this become too much for you. however controversial this might seem - i'm sure your feelings about women will change as time passes on. i suggest reading quran and understanding more about islam - it'll really open your mind and heal you spiritually, wallahi. all i can say to you is to pray to allah to guide you, and help you restrain and control your feelings. inshallah things get better. don't feel condemned because of your feelings - there are any people in the same position as you. don't let it drive you away from islam.

i know two girls who are bisexual and muslim, and unfortunately it seems like they've both turned away from islam, feeling attacked by other muslims and what people say about homosexuality. don't let that be you. the only advice i can give you, without making it seem like i'm condemning you and forcing you to be straight, is to pray to allah. he is all forgiving and the most merciful. and remember: no one is punished for their thoughts. allah swt does not punish anyone for thinking sinful things - it's human nature to have nafs. inshallah, you will be rewarded for your struggle.


I
Reply 9
Thanks for your answer. It’s just that I’ve been suffering and thinking about this permanent phenomenon for 21 years now. I am not bisexual cause that might give you an option to sustain I guess. I’m just very done and don’t wish to keep on going in the manner
i think then it matters what you want to do. being gay and being muslim does not have to be an oxymoron. you live your own life, and do what's right for you. i'd advise you to try and become even closer with religion and allah than you are now - it'll help you curb your whims and desires. it might seem hard but that's the best, in my opinion. be strong, sister. do what you think is best for you. remember that allah will be the one judging, not me, not anyone else in the muslim community. allah swt will judge you justly. so don't be disheartened. remember than zina is forbidden anyway - so to pursue a relationship with a girl would be a major sin. i suggest keeping yourself chaste and remembering allah - you might think your mindset won't change, but with stern faith and trust in allah, it will. i wish the best for you, sister. assalamu alaikum.
Original post by Anonymous
People say that it’s ones own choice. But how can it be if I felt like a girl since I was 2 or had my first crush when I was 4


"feeling like a girl" doesnt make you gay, it makes you "transexual"
Reply 12
Thanks for your answer. Well as you may understand it’s like being trapped in the wrong body. Though I try my best that the people around me don’t find out but perhaps they know on some level. I hope it makes sense
(edited 5 years ago)
this is why Islam is damaging
Reply 14
I’m not here for the derogatory comments but advices, please refrain from doing so. I’m looking for an answer and each person has a different way.
it isn't just islam which is against homosexuality. many religions are. many people who don't follow religion are, too. islam isn't damaging at all - it's people who are.
Original post by punkdilla
this is why Islam is damaging
No. Islam is damaging. Other religions and social values are also damaging but Islam is as well. The current social manifestation of Islam results in immense self hatred in homosexual people and is hugely damaging to self esteem and confidence. Islam also has the word of God rely on and this is a huge thing to question so challenging it is very difficult for believers. it's a damaging and cruel religion and needs reforming. which some people are and I respect that
Original post by Anonymous
it isn't just islam which is against homosexuality. many religions are. many people who don't follow religion are, too. islam isn't damaging at all - it's people who are.
Original post by punkdilla
this is why Islam is damaging


How dare you make truthful observations based on clear and candid statements you've just seen with your own eyes.
Don't you have any idea of how we talk about religion in 2019? :biggrin:
Tbh nah. My comments weren't brave and Islam gets a lot of criticism already. But sometimes it's justifiable. I don't give a **** what people believe but if it's damaging people's mental health like this then it's worth repeating.
Original post by Johnathan94
How dare you make truthful observations based on clear and candid statements you've just seen with your own eyes.
Don't you have any idea of how we talk about religion in 2019? :biggrin:

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