The Student Room Group

I need to make some sort of decision

So I'm currently in year 12 and have a girlfriend, her and I have been together for over a year now and I honestly do not see it ending. I'll be going in to year 13 soon and I'm looking at universities within the Russel Group where as she isn't. To put it bluntly I try harder than her, and study/education means a lot more to me than it does to her.
I'm looking at universities like Bristol/Bath/Imperial etc where as she's looking at Plymouth/UWE.

She goes on about how we should go to the same university, as much as I would like that, I don't want to limit myself just for her.
What should I do? :s-smilie:
Reply 1
Hey dude honestly I'd say if you guys have been together for so long she should understand that you have certain dreams that are different to hers and that you're aiming higher. You shouldn't at all ever feel limited in any friendship or relationship regardless of the other person's dreams, they should always encourage you. Try addressing the issue directly and telling her all of this cuz she might just be taking it lightly ygm
Reply 2
Hey dude I'd say if you guys have been together so long she should understand that you have different dreams and are aiming higher. Friendship or relationship you shouldn't ever be discouraged to do what you want or feel limited. Try addressing the situation head on and talk to her about all of this
(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 3
Thanks, I'll try talking to her head on and explain how I feel.
Original post by ZeroF
Hey dude honestly I'd say if you guys have been together for so long she should understand that you have certain dreams that are different to hers and that you're aiming higher. You shouldn't at all ever feel limited in any friendship or relationship regardless of the other person's dreams, they should always encourage you. Try addressing the issue directly and telling her all of this cuz she might just be taking it lightly ygm
Original post by CameronWS
So I'm currently in year 12 and have a girlfriend, her and I have been together for over a year now and I honestly do not see it ending. I'll be going in to year 13 soon and I'm looking at universities within the Russel Group where as she isn't. To put it bluntly I try harder than her, and study/education means a lot more to me than it does to her.
I'm looking at universities like Bristol/Bath/Imperial etc where as she's looking at Plymouth/UWE.

She goes on about how we should go to the same university, as much as I would like that, I don't want to limit myself just for her.
What should I do? :s-smilie:

Kind of sounds like you'll be going in different directions in life, but there's nothing to say that you have to go to the same university as your significant other, as long as you're committed enough to make it last.

A lot can happen in a year, so it might be a good idea to keep the dialogue open with your girlfriend so that you can keep revisiting the subject as your opinions change.
don't go to the same university as her.
Original post by CameronWS
So I'm currently in year 12 and have a girlfriend, her and I have been together for over a year now and I honestly do not see it ending. I'll be going in to year 13 soon and I'm looking at universities within the Russel Group where as she isn't. To put it bluntly I try harder than her, and study/education means a lot more to me than it does to her.
I'm looking at universities like Bristol/Bath/Imperial etc where as she's looking at Plymouth/UWE.

She goes on about how we should go to the same university, as much as I would like that, I don't want to limit myself just for her.
What should I do? :s-smilie:


She needs to come to your level if you’re working hard and looking at RG universities, if she isn’t willing to work hard then maybe you could go to different universities in the same city? For example Bristol and UWE, or University of Southampton and Southampton Solent etc etc
Hey dude, do not limit yourself based on other people in your life. Do what YOU want to do, not what other people expect you to do. Your happiness and satisfaction is the most important thing in life. Just do what makes you happy. Good luck with everything.


Original post by CameronWS
So I'm currently in year 12 and have a girlfriend, her and I have been together for over a year now and I honestly do not see it ending. I'll be going in to year 13 soon and I'm looking at universities within the Russel Group where as she isn't. To put it bluntly I try harder than her, and study/education means a lot more to me than it does to her.
I'm looking at universities like Bristol/Bath/Imperial etc where as she's looking at Plymouth/UWE.

She goes on about how we should go to the same university, as much as I would like that, I don't want to limit myself just for her.
What should I do? :s-smilie:
Just to add onto my point, most people in life are temporary, not saying she will be but you never know with life. The only thing that will stick around in life is yourself and the choices you make.
Original post by The A-level kid
Hey dude, do not limit yourself based on other people in your life. Do what YOU want to do, not what other people expect you to do. Your happiness and satisfaction is the most important thing in life. Just do what makes you happy. Good luck with everything.
Reply 9
Original post by megsalice_
She needs to come to your level if you’re working hard and looking at RG universities, if she isn’t willing to work hard then maybe you could go to different universities in the same city? For example Bristol and UWE, or University of Southampton and Southampton Solent etc etc


Earlier today I suggested Bristol and UWE. Sounds like a good plan at the moment. But as suggested that I shouldn't go to the same university as her, she'd at least want the same city. She believes I'm "the one" for her.
Original post by bloomer36
don't go to the same university as her.

This has crossed my mind A LOT.

Original post by PhoenixFortune
Kind of sounds like you'll be going in different directions in life, but there's nothing to say that you have to go to the same university as your significant other, as long as you're committed enough to make it last.

A lot can happen in a year, so it might be a good idea to keep the dialogue open with your girlfriend so that you can keep revisiting the subject as your opinions change.

Yeah I won't limit myself, I may not even be with her by the end of A2.

(Thanks all for your help :smile:)
Reply 10
Original post by The A-level kid
Hey dude, do not limit yourself based on other people in your life. Do what YOU want to do, not what other people expect you to do. Your happiness and satisfaction is the most important thing in life. Just do what makes you happy. Good luck with everything.

Thanks :smile: Yeah I won't limit myself. I need to do what I need to do.
100% agree with @megsalice_ that you should apply to Unis in the same city as her but not the same uni. Surely that is a compromise that is acceptable to everyone? If she loves you, she should understand that you want to go to the best uni you can, and that is perfectly reasonable. It would be healthier for you both to make your own friends anyway, and not become overly reliant on each other, just in case you did split up over the course of your degrees.
(edited 5 years ago)

Quick Reply