What is my sexuality ??

Ok, so since being young I’ve always had this thing for girls/ women older than me, a lot of the time it depends on the person but I can can go from feeling like an intense emotional connection to them to wanting to be intimate but not in a overtly sexual way ( more just cuddling or even kissing)? I don’t think I’ve ever had a crush on a girl my own age ? But I’ve definitely had crushes on boys my own age and older but they feel different to the “crushes” I have on girls, I have no problem with any form of sexuality I’m just confused and frustrated, anyone relate ??
Btw I’m 18 and female

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

You sound bisexual. A lot of girls are attracted to older women ; they seem more experienced lol. I find that too. Personally I don’t believe in labels, I think sexuality is a spectrum that you can’t pin down-and there’s no need to, it doesn’t define you. Personally I had a weird thing for feminine men (femboys) at one point which had me questioning my entire life ! And I’ve never really had crushes. We’re all different I guess, don’t stress it :smile:

you could do a sexuality test online haha , I’m 17/f btw

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

I hate labels too and Ik sexuality it’s a massive spectrum it’s just frustrating for me ( and Ik it shouldn’t be because there’s nothing wrong with it) because I want to have a “stereotypical” family because Idk, but the more o think about it the more I realise maybe I just like who I like and will have to deal with it because why would I deny myself love ?

Reply 3

GoDad510

What do you think bought on an attraction to both sex types, I have an attraction to sensitive women who are mature but not men at all?

Original post by Anonymous

you could do a sexuality test online haha , I’m 17/f btw

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Idk, I’m more attracted to caring women but more idk dickish men 😂

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by GoDad510

What do you think bought on an attraction to both sex types, I have an attraction to sensitive women who are mature but not men at all?

What bought it on? I would like to say I was #bornthisway which I probably was, but in all honesty i discovered this when I developed a thing for a trans guy who was exploring both feminine and masculine identity. I ended up liking both their female and Male ‘side’. This person was also older than me and acted more mature than me, with a deeper voice and was much taller/broader than me. So I guess that’s why I like older people too maybe. Sorry this is a long post!

Sexuality is weird!

Reply 6

Tilzwas

I've never really labelled myself because I don't see sexuality as a big deal, a lot of people like to know what they like and love to label it because that's the way we are as humans, we like to be in the know. But it's so fluid and it really depends on you. For instance I go through phases of dating just girls, to only dating boys, to not wanting to get involved with either 😂 I wouldn't worry or focus on it too much, you fall in love with who you love, and love is such an amazing thing that if it's a boy or a mature woman that you fall for, it'll be ace.

Original post by Anonymous

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

I hate labels but I like to know internally so I have a sense of direction because if not my anxiety goes wild, but what I have come to learn in these past few days that I’ve been so fixated on societies “ideal family” that I’ve neglected my own feelings

Reply 8

Tilzwas

Screw society, put that to the side for the moment, and focus on yourself and your feelings - as the more you worry about society and what other people think is the norm, the more you're isolating yourself and making yourself more confused, anxious and low. I've been there where I felt for a while I needed to know who I was otherwise I was finding I was getting riled up and anxious. But at the end of the day you just have to trust your heart knows what it's doing, and go with what it's telling you and then everything else will fall into place.

I know the feeling of not knowing can be uncomfortable, but roll with it instead of being afraid of it.

Original post by Anonymous

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Tilzwas

Honestly after a couple of days stressing about it this is what I needed to here and makes me feel a whole lot better, Thankyou 😊

Reply 10

Tilzwas

No worries, if you wanna talk about it some more you can always drop me a message :h:

Sexuality is a rollercoaster it's got so many different ways it can go, but for the most part you just gotta go with it and know that at the end it evens out and it's all chill

Original post by Anonymous

Honestly after a couple of days stressing about it this is what I needed to here and makes me feel a whole lot better, Thankyou 😊

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

you could do a sexuality test online haha , I’m 17/f btw

I'm so glad I'm not the only girl who is more attracted to older women, I'm 20 and my oldest crush is literally 39 (Alex Vause, yes she's fictional but it still counts), and then the second oldest is 35 (Kate McKinnon)

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I’m 18 and I’m attracted to a 40yo if this carries on there’s no hope for me 😂

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Omg don’t get me started on Vause 😍😍 I swear OITNB gave me a whole new awakening lol. And yeah I’m glad I’m not alone too 😂

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Omg don’t get me started on Vause 😍😍 I swear OITNB gave me a whole new awakening lol. And yeah I’m glad I’m not alone too 😂

Right! I was 14 when I first watched it and tbh it was then when I considered my sexuality because the way I felt about her felt may more than a typical "girl crush" if you know what I mean? I have such a crush on Nicky too, but Alex will always be my #1