Getting my parents to agree to let me move out for uni
I'd like to move out for university, however my parents are completely against the idea (kinda strict too). The only offer I got, for medicine, is at a uni 20 minutes away from me. Anyone got any advice on ways to persuade them, or any solid arguments to help my side?
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What do you mean 'let you'? Are you under 18?
Original post by Anonymous
I'd like to move out for university, however my parents are completely against the idea (kinda strict too). The only offer I got, for medicine, is at a uni 20 minutes away from me. Anyone got any advice on ways to persuade them, or any solid arguments to help my side?
Will allow you to gain some independence.
Makes it easier for making friends (assuming you move into halls)
What's stopping them let you leave? Is money fine?
Makes it easier for making friends (assuming you move into halls)
What's stopping them let you leave? Is money fine?
Original post by Anonymous
I'd like to move out for university, however my parents are completely against the idea (kinda strict too). The only offer I got, for medicine, is at a uni 20 minutes away from me. Anyone got any advice on ways to persuade them, or any solid arguments to help my side?
unless your depending on them to give you money or your under 18. screw your parents. get in a car, laugh and wave at them as you drive away to hunt down this new qualification you are after. they don't control you and have no say in what you want to do with your life. you are your own person
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by angelinahx
What do you mean 'let you'? Are you under 18?
Let me as in they're pretty strict. Im actually gonna turn 19 this summer. They were annoyed about my applying to unis outside my city already but since this uni offered me I will come here.
Original post by AzureCeleste
Will allow you to gain some independence.
Makes it easier for making friends (assuming you move into halls)
What's stopping them let you leave? Is money fine?
Makes it easier for making friends (assuming you move into halls)
What's stopping them let you leave? Is money fine?
Thanks ma. They don't really trust me, and I just feel like I can't breathe when they're around. Money shouldn't really be an issue since I'll get a job after my exams and have my maintanance loan.
Original post by Liam Bermo
unless your depending on them to give you money or your under 18. screw your parents. get in a car, laugh and wave at them as you drive away to hunt down this new qualification you are after. they don't control you and have no say in what you want to do with your life. you are your own person
I can't really screw them they're my parents lmaoo and knowing my siblings they will probably agree with them. Iwish it was that easy
Original post by random_matt
You are weak.
You can't relate to my situation. I don't think weak is the word
Original post by Anonymous
I can't really screw them they're my parents lmaoo and knowing my siblings they will probably agree with them. Iwish it was that easy
well you dont have to say screw them but it is your duty to tell them to shut up and let you get on with your life. who cares what your parents or your siblings say. it's important that you go to the uni that best suits you not the one that best suits your parents. go to the best college not the one 20 minutes away because that's sad. unless the college 20 mins away is genuinely the best choice for your education
This may not be what you want to hear but you need to forget about them. This is YOUR JOURNEY. Do it YOUR way. If you want to move into Uni Halls. Do it. It is only your choice. Do not look back in two/three years and think your experience would have been so much better/different if you had done what you wanted to. Any good parent should be supportive. Also you are legally an adult. You could move out and get your own place anyway so they can't actually stop you?
Original post by Liam Bermo
well you dont have to say screw them but it is your duty to tell them to shut up and let you get on with your life. who cares what your parents or your siblings say. it's important that you go to the uni that best suits you not the one that best suits your parents. go to the best college not the one 20 minutes away because that's sad. unless the college 20 mins away is genuinely the best choice for your education
I beg you come speak to my parents because they would never listen to me. I hear what you say. This college is alright but they've offered me the course I WANT to do. I just want to move out because my household is incredibly unhealthy but I literally have responsibilites and hold this house together. Thats just one of many reasons of why I want to move out
Original post by Zasty
imagine expecting parents to rationalise
Word. Esp in a pakistani household
Original post by Anonymous
Word. Esp in a pakistani household
you got foreign parents too? LOL JUST GIVE UP NOW LOL
Original post by Anonymous
I beg you come speak to my parents because they would never listen to me. I hear what you say. This college is alright but they've offered me the course I WANT to do. I just want to move out because my household is incredibly unhealthy but I literally have responsibilites and hold this house together. Thats just one of many reasons of why I want to move out
yeah I feel you. my household was also very unhealthy but that's in the past now. show them what I said. if I was in your position I would be banging on the table singing "uni uni uni im so excited, im going to uni" I would be swinging on the street lights like a monkey singing the song and laughing at them tbh but hey that's just me
Original post by Zasty
you got foreign parents too? LOL JUST GIVE UP NOW LOL
Lmaooooo listen yh it will happen ok
Tell them you will have a heavy work load and need to be near University to cut travel time, be near library resources and hospitals.
However they are not likely to listen to you as their ultimate aim is to control you which is less easy if you are not at home.
You need to make a break for your own sake as this is a battle over who ultimately controls your life.
Them or you.
In their past parents controlled their children but this is 2019.
Concentrate on your exams for now and work towards your university goal.
You need to secure your financial position as you need money to leave home.
Will they still sign your University forms for finance?
This could get tricky in this respect.
Seek support from your college in this situation.
If they try to stop you going get a job as a health care assistant for one year and defer your place for one year.
This will give you useful experience for your future career and enable you to earn your own money.
Then you will have money to leave and can be totally free.
The experience will also allow you to become bank staff at any hospital in the country and so enable you to earn
your own money whenever you need it.
This is important as you are only free if you are financially dependant on no one and can be your self not someone else's vision of you.
Remember this is about control not good reasons to leave home.
However they are not likely to listen to you as their ultimate aim is to control you which is less easy if you are not at home.
You need to make a break for your own sake as this is a battle over who ultimately controls your life.
Them or you.
In their past parents controlled their children but this is 2019.
Concentrate on your exams for now and work towards your university goal.
You need to secure your financial position as you need money to leave home.
Will they still sign your University forms for finance?
This could get tricky in this respect.
Seek support from your college in this situation.
If they try to stop you going get a job as a health care assistant for one year and defer your place for one year.
This will give you useful experience for your future career and enable you to earn your own money.
Then you will have money to leave and can be totally free.
The experience will also allow you to become bank staff at any hospital in the country and so enable you to earn
your own money whenever you need it.
This is important as you are only free if you are financially dependant on no one and can be your self not someone else's vision of you.
Remember this is about control not good reasons to leave home.
Original post by Anonymous
I'd like to move out for university, however my parents are completely against the idea (kinda strict too). The only offer I got, for medicine, is at a uni 20 minutes away from me. Anyone got any advice on ways to persuade them, or any solid arguments to help my side?
Yes, moving out will give you independence and life skills, such as dealing with new situations and new people. Also, the uni will have study facilities that you can use, which may be better than working at home. 20 mins is a good distance to be away, not too close but not too far. Being at uni might help you get into the 'work' mindset which is free from the distractions at home plus you have people doing the same course and of the same age who can support you. Each uni has support in place to make you feel at home, so I would recommend visiting them or booking accommodation open days and speaking with the student team .Hope this helps
I completely understand. I'm Asian too and in the exact same situation. I've got med offers and want to move but they won't let me and there's really no way of convincing them, especially when my siblings take my parents side.
Original post by Anonymous
I'd like to move out for university, however my parents are completely against the idea (kinda strict too). The only offer I got, for medicine, is at a uni 20 minutes away from me. Anyone got any advice on ways to persuade them, or any solid arguments to help my side?
20 minutes isn't a huge distance from home. You could move away and try to live more independently, but you are also close enough to visit home if needed. What exactly are the reasons that your parents are against the idea? Getting into medicine is a great achievement, and your parents should be proud that you have done this and are concentrating on working hard to make a great career for yourself. Moving away will give you the independence to do things for yourself and to have the resources and space to concentrate on your studies, so you don't have to be stressed commuting,etc.
You could potentially try and compromise. Tell them you would like to move out for 1st year so you can settle in and really focus on your studies, whilst also making new friends. Try and find a prive halls studio so that if they are worried you will be distracted by flatmates/wild parties, you can show them you will have your own privacy. Then for 2nd and 3 year tell them you will move back home. The idea of this is to either one, after 1st year they will ease up and let you continue living away as they can see how hapoy you are and how good your studies are going or 2, if they don’t then just stay living at halls anyway. Basically tell them what they want to hear to get them on your side, but the overall goal is to try and get them in your side but do what you want after that.
The advice of just screw them is no good. Because what if you get accomodation which doesnt cover the holidays. Where do most students go? Back home. How will you do this if you left on bad terms? By all means you can go rouge, but just know theres consequences. You never know, some people move out and end up hating it, so it is nice, at least for 1st year to have your family home as a backup.
I’m sure your parents main concern is you doing well in your studies. So you’ll have to show them how living indepently and closer to campus/24 hour libraries, will benefit you.
I ended up not moving out like i wanted to and i regretted it. Lost all interest in my course and uni and my grades showed aswell. Now I’ve reapplied for the uni i wanted and I’m moving as originally wanted and i know i’ll be more motivated this time. You can use that as a con for staying home when talking to your parents e.g statistically 78% of students who live at home end up getting lower grades than students who are more involved in univeristy life in halls. Obvs I’ve just made that up but you get the idea. Blag it!
The advice of just screw them is no good. Because what if you get accomodation which doesnt cover the holidays. Where do most students go? Back home. How will you do this if you left on bad terms? By all means you can go rouge, but just know theres consequences. You never know, some people move out and end up hating it, so it is nice, at least for 1st year to have your family home as a backup.
I’m sure your parents main concern is you doing well in your studies. So you’ll have to show them how living indepently and closer to campus/24 hour libraries, will benefit you.
I ended up not moving out like i wanted to and i regretted it. Lost all interest in my course and uni and my grades showed aswell. Now I’ve reapplied for the uni i wanted and I’m moving as originally wanted and i know i’ll be more motivated this time. You can use that as a con for staying home when talking to your parents e.g statistically 78% of students who live at home end up getting lower grades than students who are more involved in univeristy life in halls. Obvs I’ve just made that up but you get the idea. Blag it!
Original post by Anonymous
You could potentially try and compromise. Tell them you would like to move out for 1st year so you can settle in and really focus on your studies, whilst also making new friends. Try and find a prive halls studio so that if they are worried you will be distracted by flatmates/wild parties, you can show them you will have your own privacy. Then for 2nd and 3 year tell them you will move back home. The idea of this is to either one, after 1st year they will ease up and let you continue living away as they can see how hapoy you are and how good your studies are going or 2, if they don’t then just stay living at halls anyway. Basically tell them what they want to hear to get them on your side, but the overall goal is to try and get them in your side but do what you want after that.
The advice of just screw them is no good. Because what if you get accomodation which doesnt cover the holidays. Where do most students go? Back home. How will you do this if you left on bad terms? By all means you can go rouge, but just know theres consequences. You never know, some people move out and end up hating it, so it is nice, at least for 1st year to have your family home as a backup.
I’m sure your parents main concern is you doing well in your studies. So you’ll have to show them how living indepently and closer to campus/24 hour libraries, will benefit you.
I ended up not moving out like i wanted to and i regretted it. Lost all interest in my course and uni and my grades showed aswell. Now I’ve reapplied for the uni i wanted and I’m moving as originally wanted and i know i’ll be more motivated this time. You can use that as a con for staying home when talking to your parents e.g statistically 78% of students who live at home end up getting lower grades than students who are more involved in univeristy life in halls. Obvs I’ve just made that up but you get the idea. Blag it!
The advice of just screw them is no good. Because what if you get accomodation which doesnt cover the holidays. Where do most students go? Back home. How will you do this if you left on bad terms? By all means you can go rouge, but just know theres consequences. You never know, some people move out and end up hating it, so it is nice, at least for 1st year to have your family home as a backup.
I’m sure your parents main concern is you doing well in your studies. So you’ll have to show them how living indepently and closer to campus/24 hour libraries, will benefit you.
I ended up not moving out like i wanted to and i regretted it. Lost all interest in my course and uni and my grades showed aswell. Now I’ve reapplied for the uni i wanted and I’m moving as originally wanted and i know i’ll be more motivated this time. You can use that as a con for staying home when talking to your parents e.g statistically 78% of students who live at home end up getting lower grades than students who are more involved in univeristy life in halls. Obvs I’ve just made that up but you get the idea. Blag it!
Ignore all the typos! Typing on a cracked screen isn’t the one 😩
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