He doesnt tip the waiter, thoughts?
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Firstly, you have no right to tell him whether to tip or not. It's not a legal requirement, we're not in America. Also, he paid for the meal, and when I go out with my partner, when we tip, it comes from whoever didn't pay for the meal. So if you wanted to tip, you could have done.
I don't agree with service charges. There are so many really difficult jobs that pay minimum wage, yet none of these are tipped. Also, when we eat out, we have absolutely no choice about whether we are served or not. Fair enough, if a waiter was an optional extra, and we could actually nip into the kitchen to get our own food, that would be different.. but most places would object to that, I'm sure..
In these kinds of discussions, it's often people who've worked in serving v people who haven't. But in the UK, you get at least minimum wage, the same as many other people in many other jobs. It is not our duty to help you earn a living. Many people who come to visit you will be earning the same as you, in jobs that don't get tipped. For example, you might serve someone who had served you in a supermarket. They are on minimum wage, the same as you, yet you just thanked them and walked away without another thought - yet you expect them to reach into their pocket and give you extra to what they've paid.
I will never tip on the card machine, as I don't know where that goes.
I will always tip if I receive service that goes above and beyond what I would expect.
I will not tip for average service, service without a smile, inattentive service or anything like that - just because it's expected. Because honestly, I earned my money, and I wanted to enjoy my night out, and sometimes the waiting staff can spoil this with an attitude, or mistakes, or whatever.
Also another issue is that I very rarely actually carry any change with me. I pay for everything on card, so I never have anything to tip with anyway.
You do not have a right to receive a tip, you do not have the right to demand that someone leave a tip. They are not being "tight" as they took you out for a meal. It is wrong to judge someone based on something that they have the right to choose.
I don't agree with service charges. There are so many really difficult jobs that pay minimum wage, yet none of these are tipped. Also, when we eat out, we have absolutely no choice about whether we are served or not. Fair enough, if a waiter was an optional extra, and we could actually nip into the kitchen to get our own food, that would be different.. but most places would object to that, I'm sure..
In these kinds of discussions, it's often people who've worked in serving v people who haven't. But in the UK, you get at least minimum wage, the same as many other people in many other jobs. It is not our duty to help you earn a living. Many people who come to visit you will be earning the same as you, in jobs that don't get tipped. For example, you might serve someone who had served you in a supermarket. They are on minimum wage, the same as you, yet you just thanked them and walked away without another thought - yet you expect them to reach into their pocket and give you extra to what they've paid.
I will never tip on the card machine, as I don't know where that goes.
I will always tip if I receive service that goes above and beyond what I would expect.
I will not tip for average service, service without a smile, inattentive service or anything like that - just because it's expected. Because honestly, I earned my money, and I wanted to enjoy my night out, and sometimes the waiting staff can spoil this with an attitude, or mistakes, or whatever.
Also another issue is that I very rarely actually carry any change with me. I pay for everything on card, so I never have anything to tip with anyway.
You do not have a right to receive a tip, you do not have the right to demand that someone leave a tip. They are not being "tight" as they took you out for a meal. It is wrong to judge someone based on something that they have the right to choose.
I work in waiting at a upmarket hotel, and I agree with what's mostly been said here. Their are times when the staff at our hotel are very slow and don't deserve tips, other times we do well and are effective. Different experience levels show between the staff and how well they work with the guests. I wouldn't expect anyone to tip a waiter who was really slow and not delivering good service. Since I work in a upmarket hotel where rooms can go for £3,000 most people don't really tip the same.
We thankfully do not live in such a stupid society as America, tipping is not mandatory nor should tipping ever become mandatory or anything close to being mandatory, we do not tip other hard workers in society and the waiters/waitresses are not exactly doing anything special (obviously many of them work very hard but so do many other people) Tipping should be reserved for going absolutely above and beyond and not just "wow they did their job correctly by bringing me food and attending to me" I have an example of a time I tipped.
I was in a country far poorer than my own and I had gone to a small family resturant that was meant to be good and full of local dishes, my language skills were appauling (I tried my best) so if there were no pictures on the menu I had decided I would ask them for something traditional. When I arrived and told them I was English and that my translation was very bad they sat me down and out of the kitchen came a very happy man who was so exicted to see an English person (this was not a tourist destination or area, nor did anyone there speak more than a few words) he told me that he had studied English and was excited whenever he could use it, so I told him I would be very happy to talk to him and when I said I wanted something traditional he took me into the kitchen and showed me how prepare some local dishes and allowed me to try little bites of many other types of local foods, we talked history and after about two hours I was finished and very happy, the guy came out with the bill and it was extremely cheap under £13 for a 3 course meal that was very done (once again this is a very poor country) so I tipped him about £20 because it was such a good experience and been treated to a lot. That is going above and beyond.
I was in a country far poorer than my own and I had gone to a small family resturant that was meant to be good and full of local dishes, my language skills were appauling (I tried my best) so if there were no pictures on the menu I had decided I would ask them for something traditional. When I arrived and told them I was English and that my translation was very bad they sat me down and out of the kitchen came a very happy man who was so exicted to see an English person (this was not a tourist destination or area, nor did anyone there speak more than a few words) he told me that he had studied English and was excited whenever he could use it, so I told him I would be very happy to talk to him and when I said I wanted something traditional he took me into the kitchen and showed me how prepare some local dishes and allowed me to try little bites of many other types of local foods, we talked history and after about two hours I was finished and very happy, the guy came out with the bill and it was extremely cheap under £13 for a 3 course meal that was very done (once again this is a very poor country) so I tipped him about £20 because it was such a good experience and been treated to a lot. That is going above and beyond.
(edited 5 years ago)
tipping isnt even a thing in the uk wtf r u talking about
Original post by Anonymous
So I have been dating this guy for a few months now. We've never really eaten out during this time (we cook a lot). Basically he treated me to dinner last night and refused to leave a tip. I have worked in waitressing/hospitality for 10 years so this is a biggy for me, I always tip well. I asked him why and he said "well people don't tip me for my job" (he owns his own tyre company). I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he just didn't understand the industry so tried to explain it to him and he brushed it off/didn't really listen or care. In the end I left the tip because I felt so embarrassed.
I know this sounds trivial but this feels like a deal breaker to me. I felt so unattracted To him after this, and felt undervalued when he brushed off my opinion. When I confronted him he said I made him feel uncomfortable and asked to leave.
Any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!
I know this sounds trivial but this feels like a deal breaker to me. I felt so unattracted To him after this, and felt undervalued when he brushed off my opinion. When I confronted him he said I made him feel uncomfortable and asked to leave.
Any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!
I think this is a true signal of where society is going nowadays.
He disagreed with what you agreed with. That happens.
He gave you a reason and you don't like it so you aren't into him anymore. Yes it's trivial and if that's your personality then yeah give the guy a break and don't waste his time.
Just for the record I don't normally tip. I work minimum wage as do most in that waitressing industry. It's an American thing though some restaurants have taking to adding a service charge already.
If you like the guy see past the bigger picture if this really gets up you then finish it
i feel like anything i add to this thread would be just repeating what 80% have already said
majority of places in London (where i live) make use of a service charge. that is the tip. those few that don't i would still not tip because either tips could be pooled or the service was standard.
one experience i had was going to a restaurant with a group of friends. end of meal and the bill came, around £140 for the 4 of us. someone suggested the bill be split (not fond of this but didn't want to make things awkward so agreed) and then that same person insisted we all tip a fiver. the place already had a 20% service charge so i thought why bother tipping?
again out of conformity i had to tip, so basically spent an extra £25 on things i didn't have/average service.
OP - do not guilt people into leaving tips, tips are not necessary in the UK. i will only ever tip in my home country where i know wait staff are being underpaid
majority of places in London (where i live) make use of a service charge. that is the tip. those few that don't i would still not tip because either tips could be pooled or the service was standard.
one experience i had was going to a restaurant with a group of friends. end of meal and the bill came, around £140 for the 4 of us. someone suggested the bill be split (not fond of this but didn't want to make things awkward so agreed) and then that same person insisted we all tip a fiver. the place already had a 20% service charge so i thought why bother tipping?
again out of conformity i had to tip, so basically spent an extra £25 on things i didn't have/average service.
OP - do not guilt people into leaving tips, tips are not necessary in the UK. i will only ever tip in my home country where i know wait staff are being underpaid
Original post by Anonymous
So I have been dating this guy for a few months now. We've never really eaten out during this time (we cook a lot). Basically he treated me to dinner last night and refused to leave a tip. I have worked in waitressing/hospitality for 10 years so this is a biggy for me, I always tip well. I asked him why and he said "well people don't tip me for my job" (he owns his own tyre company). I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he just didn't understand the industry so tried to explain it to him and he brushed it off/didn't really listen or care. In the end I left the tip because I felt so embarrassed.
I know this sounds trivial but this feels like a deal breaker to me. I felt so unattracted To him after this, and felt undervalued when he brushed off my opinion. When I confronted him he said I made him feel uncomfortable and asked to leave.
Any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!
I know this sounds trivial but this feels like a deal breaker to me. I felt so unattracted To him after this, and felt undervalued when he brushed off my opinion. When I confronted him he said I made him feel uncomfortable and asked to leave.
Any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!
Tip the waiter yourself if you care that much lol
Tipping is optional, i rarely tip and i eat out a lot
Suggesting that this is an abuse of the anonymous function is a bit too far, if someone wants to ask or say anything then they should feel free to go anonymous.
Like many others, I don't really see the problem.
I do give tips for service that's better than expected (when I know it's going to the individual), but on an average day it's not my responsibility to help a business out by bumping their staff's pay up a little. I slightly agree that never tipping at all, no matter how good the service, is a bit cheap... but it's not a major personality defect.
I do give tips for service that's better than expected (when I know it's going to the individual), but on an average day it's not my responsibility to help a business out by bumping their staff's pay up a little. I slightly agree that never tipping at all, no matter how good the service, is a bit cheap... but it's not a major personality defect.
And that's a very valid point.
Original post by bones-mccoy
I'm not arguing about whether to tip or not. I'm talking about the boyfriend's refusal to even listen to her point of view when she has vast experience in that line of work.
I always tip taxi drivers. Every single time. And when I go out with work, I always leave a tip.
Original post by Callicious
I think it's a culture kind of thing. You're not expected to tip in all the places you go, and in some places tipping isn't really a thing you do at all. In other places, it's the only real source of income for service staff like waiters/etc...
Back in Poland, in my experiences in going to restaurants and that sort of thing (which aren't plentiful) not many people seemed to tip, my family didn't, nor did some others we were with, and when I did actually give the waiter extra they seemed confused, if I remember correctly. I do remember it being a sticking point and people finding it a bit odd.
When I was abroad in Germany, any restaurants I visited actually automatically gave a tip on the bill. I didn't visit many, but the ones I did actually automatically assigned a tip of some given %, usually an odd number between 5 and 10 like 7.5 or something like that, which was paid on the bill and given to the server when they signed in on the till. I know that because when I offered to tip after, my ex looked at me funny and said that they'd already been tipped. The first time that happened I still gave the lady the money since I didn't want to look like an ass after offering her the money. xD
Personally I always aim to tip anyone who does that sort of service kind of thing. Taxi drivers included. However I think it's a touch harsh to judge him so heavily on tipping. This might seem like one of those weird things to say, and I don't study anything like society or whatnot, but if tipping becomes one of the sticking points in culture, then it seems like there'll be less incentive/pressure on businesses to actually pay the staff more, with tips supplementing the income unreliably. Like ANM775 said, tips are just a bonus and aren't a given. If tips were obligatory, then you might as well just pay more onto the bill like with the way those places in Germany did it and then leave it to the restaurant to handle it, rather than relying on having spare change or cash on you.
I don't have a single penny on me and pay for everything with card. How can I tip with a bank card!
Back in Poland, in my experiences in going to restaurants and that sort of thing (which aren't plentiful) not many people seemed to tip, my family didn't, nor did some others we were with, and when I did actually give the waiter extra they seemed confused, if I remember correctly. I do remember it being a sticking point and people finding it a bit odd.
When I was abroad in Germany, any restaurants I visited actually automatically gave a tip on the bill. I didn't visit many, but the ones I did actually automatically assigned a tip of some given %, usually an odd number between 5 and 10 like 7.5 or something like that, which was paid on the bill and given to the server when they signed in on the till. I know that because when I offered to tip after, my ex looked at me funny and said that they'd already been tipped. The first time that happened I still gave the lady the money since I didn't want to look like an ass after offering her the money. xD
Personally I always aim to tip anyone who does that sort of service kind of thing. Taxi drivers included. However I think it's a touch harsh to judge him so heavily on tipping. This might seem like one of those weird things to say, and I don't study anything like society or whatnot, but if tipping becomes one of the sticking points in culture, then it seems like there'll be less incentive/pressure on businesses to actually pay the staff more, with tips supplementing the income unreliably. Like ANM775 said, tips are just a bonus and aren't a given. If tips were obligatory, then you might as well just pay more onto the bill like with the way those places in Germany did it and then leave it to the restaurant to handle it, rather than relying on having spare change or cash on you.
I don't have a single penny on me and pay for everything with card. How can I tip with a bank card!
This is a lovely story, and well worth the tip, in my opinion.
Original post by AperfectBalance
We thankfully do not live in such a stupid society as America, tipping is not mandatory nor should tipping ever become mandatory or anything close to being mandatory, we do not tip other hard workers in society and the waiters/waitresses are not exactly doing anything special (obviously many of them work very hard but so do many other people) Tipping should be reserved for going absolutely above and beyond and not just "wow they did their job correctly by bringing me food and attending to me" I have an example of a time I tipped.
I was in a country far poorer than my own and I had gone to a small family resturant that was meant to be good and full of local dishes, my language skills were appauling (I tried my best) so if there were no pictures on the menu I had decided I would ask them for something traditional. When I arrived and told them I was English and that my translation was very bad they sat me down and out of the kitchen came a very happy man who was so exicted to see an English person (this was not a tourist destination or area, nor did anyone there speak more than a few words) he told me that he had studied English and was excited whenever he could use it, so I told him I would be very happy to talk to him and when I said I wanted something traditional he took me into the kitchen and showed me how prepare some local dishes and allowed me to try little bites of many other types of local foods, we talked history and after about two hours I was finished and very happy, the guy came out with the bill and it was extremely cheap under £13 for a 3 course meal that was very done (once again this is a very poor country) so I tipped him about £20 because it was such a good experience and been treated to a lot. That is going above and beyond.
I was in a country far poorer than my own and I had gone to a small family resturant that was meant to be good and full of local dishes, my language skills were appauling (I tried my best) so if there were no pictures on the menu I had decided I would ask them for something traditional. When I arrived and told them I was English and that my translation was very bad they sat me down and out of the kitchen came a very happy man who was so exicted to see an English person (this was not a tourist destination or area, nor did anyone there speak more than a few words) he told me that he had studied English and was excited whenever he could use it, so I told him I would be very happy to talk to him and when I said I wanted something traditional he took me into the kitchen and showed me how prepare some local dishes and allowed me to try little bites of many other types of local foods, we talked history and after about two hours I was finished and very happy, the guy came out with the bill and it was extremely cheap under £13 for a 3 course meal that was very done (once again this is a very poor country) so I tipped him about £20 because it was such a good experience and been treated to a lot. That is going above and beyond.
Original post by Anonymous
So I have been dating this guy for a few months now. We've never really eaten out during this time (we cook a lot). Basically he treated me to dinner last night and refused to leave a tip. I have worked in waitressing/hospitality for 10 years so this is a biggy for me, I always tip well. I asked him why and he said "well people don't tip me for my job" (he owns his own tyre company). I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he just didn't understand the industry so tried to explain it to him and he brushed it off/didn't really listen or care. In the end I left the tip because I felt so embarrassed.
I know this sounds trivial but this feels like a deal breaker to me. I felt so unattracted To him after this, and felt undervalued when he brushed off my opinion. When I confronted him he said I made him feel uncomfortable and asked to leave.
Any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!
I know this sounds trivial but this feels like a deal breaker to me. I felt so unattracted To him after this, and felt undervalued when he brushed off my opinion. When I confronted him he said I made him feel uncomfortable and asked to leave.
Any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!
"He treated me to dinner" - And you still expected him to leave a tip?
Why didn’t you leave a tip ?
I don't really tip waiters either. My reason is more like you get paid for what you are doing and unless you do something exceptional you don't deservice an extra dime for me.
With that being said, last week I gave 5 pounds to a guy who was picking up trash in the city. Just saying tipping shouldn't be an obligation
With that being said, last week I gave 5 pounds to a guy who was picking up trash in the city. Just saying tipping shouldn't be an obligation
Original post by sinfonietta
You tried to force your view on him - in public at that. It's understandable that you made him feel uncomfortable. You say you felt embarrassed by it and he most likely did too.
Tipping is not a requirement. In that regard he did nothing wrong. You two should talk it out now that you've hopefully both had time to cool off. But please don't try to force your views on him again.
Tipping is not a requirement. In that regard he did nothing wrong. You two should talk it out now that you've hopefully both had time to cool off. But please don't try to force your views on him again.
I agree.
Its always nice to give a tip, especially if the service has been good. But its not a requirement.
He might have been a bit ignorant not wanting to listen to your point of view, but there was need to go on berating him about it in public.
If he paid, maybe you could have given a tip?
Original post by Emma:-)
I agree.
Its always nice to give a tip, especially if the service has been good. But its not a requirement.
He might have been a bit ignorant not wanting to listen to your point of view, but there was need to go on berating him about it in public.
If he paid, maybe you could have given a tip?
Its always nice to give a tip, especially if the service has been good. But its not a requirement.
He might have been a bit ignorant not wanting to listen to your point of view, but there was need to go on berating him about it in public.
If he paid, maybe you could have given a tip?
I mean most people would consider 'good' service to be fast, with a smile and attentive, but in all honesty that is what all service should be.
Original post by AperfectBalance
I mean most people would consider 'good' service to be fast, with a smile and attentive, but in all honesty that is what all service should be.
Exactly
I tip if I get great service - otherwise not. I work a minimum wage job in retail and do not get tips, therefor if I want to go out with friends or family I can't afford to tip every time. If you feel so strongly you should have tipped yourself. Employers should be paying a minimum wage in the UK and therefor nobody is entitled to extra (in my opinion). This is not America.
Since he paid for both your meals, why don't you tip the waiter, since you feel so passionately about it?
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