He doesnt tip the waiter, thoughts?

what mistake? Why should I tip for service that isn't good when in the UK employers have to pay minimum wage. Why should waiters get tipped and I dont? I work for minimum wage

I always tip taxi drivers. Every single time. And when I go out with work, I always leave a tip.

The mistake was that we replied that if the OP feels so strongly about it and her boyfriend didn't want to tip, why didn't she. The correction was that the OP said in the post that she did tip in the end.

I find it weird that he point blank refused to.
Fair enough if he doesn't want to leave a tip, but if someone pressured me I'd leave a couple of pounds or something

Yeah I hate that. We won't go out with folk that don't tip.

In the UK everyone in an applicable service industry starts at 5% with me - good service will raise it to 10% (which should be guaranteed), poor service will drop it. I've only ever once left no tip.

There's a bigger issue here though. You raised the issue as something that was important to you and he ignored you.

So I have been dating this guy for a few months now. We've never really eaten out during this time (we cook a lot). Basically he treated me to dinner last night and refused to leave a tip. I have worked in waitressing/hospitality for 10 years so this is a biggy for me, I always tip well. I asked him why and he said "well people don't tip me for my job" (he owns his own tyre company). I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he just didn't understand the industry so tried to explain it to him and he brushed it off/didn't really listen or care. In the end I left the tip because I felt so embarrassed.

I know this sounds trivial but this feels like a deal breaker to me. I felt so unattracted To him after this, and felt undervalued when he brushed off my opinion. When I confronted him he said I made him feel uncomfortable and asked to leave.

Any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!

Tipping is plainly good manners. I think it says a lot about someone when they don't tip - it doesn't have to be 10 pounds - even a pound will do. It's not about the money it's about the principle of treating people nicely. Anyone who has worked as a waiter/waitress or in a kitchen has been there. It doesn't matter if he paid for dinner for both of you - that's a customary thing to do in any relationship (one person treating another.) Other people on this post really are acting like he gave you a gold bar and then didn't tip!

Load of nuance lost in written text eh.

Doubt OP is ungrateful to her lad taking her out for dinner.

I always tip, but there are people that don't. Just like tonight when I was in the pub, someone shouted at the barman - something I'd never do, but people do it. If tipping is a deal breaker, discuss it out and let us know how it goes.

Load of nuance lost in written text eh.

Doubt OP is ungrateful to her lad taking her out for dinner.

I always tip, but there are people that don't. Just like tonight when I was in the pub, someone shouted at the barman - something I'd never do, but people do it. If tipping is a deal breaker, discuss it out and let us know how it goes.

tipping isnt even a thing in the uk wtf r u talking about

It's an interesting philosophical point about tipping being good manners.

Money is always likely to be a limited resource for me and my future family. Me and my partner will have to work for our money.

My highest priorites will always be for my partner and future children.

If I were to start leaving tips I would feel guilty because I would be taking money away from my family and be giving it to complete strangers. OK any particular meal is not a big amount. But over time it would add up to the cost of a family holiday. I think it's better manners to take my family on 1 extra holiday in their lifetime than it is to leave tips. But that's just my inner philosophy - where the people I love most will be the ones that I will always try to be kindest to. If other people have a different philosophy on this to me, then that's fine.

On top of that I was once with 5 French associates in a restaurant in Alsace. I noticed that they didn't tip and asked them when they tipped when eating out in France. They all looked at me shocked and said "Jamais!" - never!

Surely OP could have left the tip if it was such a big issue to her? Considering she literally had her entire dinner paid for...

EDIT: I read above, and apparently she did. Fair enough, but I don't think her boyfriend did anything wrong.

Apparently if your date shouts at a waiter/waitress, this is how they will treat you further on in the relationship. ie when they get to know you and maybe start taking you for granted. My ex husband did this before we were married. I ignored the excellent advice and now I am divorced. Obviously it was not as straightforward as being just down to this incident. However it's worth bearing this in mind.