The Student Room Group

Can Boys and Girls be JUST friends?

Scroll to see replies

Original post by Scottishflavour
But you aren't attracted to everyone


I know. I assume that straight women aren’t attracted to all men either.
Correct. But if 1 friend falls in love with the other then the friendship is compromised. Its a horrible situation for everyone. Unfortunately, guys, younger guys especially can have difficulty understanding the dynamic of a friendship that allows them to pursue feelings that aren't reciprocated
Original post by OctoberRain7
I know. I assume that straight women aren’t attracted to all men either.
Original post by Scottishflavour
Correct. But if 1 friend falls in love with the other then the friendship is compromised. Its a horrible situation for everyone. Unfortunately, guys, younger guys especially can have difficulty understanding the dynamic of a friendship that allows them to pursue feelings that aren't reciprocated


That can happen, but it isn’t definite and they still can be just friends.
Reply 83
As and Aro Ace if baffles me how people seem to constantly develop feelings for each other and make a mess of friendships and relationships.

People are strange, glad I’m able to stand back and laugh though.
It's unfair to maintain a friendship if they are in love with you. Even more so if you're in a relationship.
Reply 85
Can girls do it but boys I don't think that
Yep
Reply 87
Original post by TSRFT8
No one said it was unfair. I said, it is unrealistic to expect it as the norm as it mostly doesnt work. Countless times I have heard it ruin relationships or the friendships, very rarely do I hear it work simultaneously.

True point
to be super honest, if the lady is fit and ready to go, I would happily oblige. I speak with all the girls I've met when i say this :cool:
Original post by TaintedLight
to be super honest, if the lady is fit and ready to go, I would happily oblige. I speak with all the girls I've met when i say this :cool:

Atleast you are honest...
Original post by TSRFT8
I dont think trust is really the issue.

The issue is a lot of the time these platonic friendships are only platonic from the outside. I will give you the example the individual used;

If a man and a woman are best friends and the girl is married/has a partner but the man is single, usually when problems arise in that relationship, he is usually the first port of contact, in every aspect she will start looking at him in a new light and start comparing her partner to him. Of course, the friend has flaws too, but that relationship has not moved in order for her to realise his flaws, rather it is always the good she sees as hes always there. Soon you start resenting your partner and every argument every mistake they make makes you think `I am so much better off with X" as that option is there.

It is the fact that there is this connection between you and your friend and it is ALWAYS an option if all else fails, so people now a days tend to give up on relationships too easily and the option is available. Why would you stick and make things work when the next fix is a text away?

Yes but why would you expect someone to go off with their friend of the opposite sex if they used them for support during troubling times, yet a friend of the same sex could just provide support with no questions asked?
Original post by snugglebear
That threat is very revealing. And they didn't find a way as you haven't heard from them. Unless you mean they will seek out females friends whilst in a relationship...I doubt it. And girls are more likely to want male friends for emotional support without sex, men are more likely to be open to the option of friends with benefits. So no wonder your bf is ok about it but their gfs aren't.

What are you on about? I haven't heard from who? Do you mean my friends? What I'm saying is not a threat, it's a fact. I'm not talking about my friends. Or friends at all. I mean that girls try to stop their partners from talking to other girls (friends) in case they cheat, but if a man wants to cheat, he will find a way somehow - same with women - even if it's with the specific girls he's been "banned" from speaking to. The fact that my friends haven't contacted me is proving my point - they don't like me in that way, and we were just friends. But if there is ever a reason for you to genuinely think your partner is a cheat, you can be as controlling as you want, but they will still find a way.. and you shouldn't be with someone if you feel that you have to control who they speak to. Why would you want to be with someone who wants to cheat on you? When you're with someone, you should never need to stop them from speaking to someone they've been friends with longer than they've been with you, unless there's a good reason for a genuine concern.. and even then if it's because you doubt your boyfriend, and think he might cheat, you shouldn't be with him.. because if you're not right, your insecurity will tear your relationship apart. If you are right, his cheating will - so it's screwed either way.
Original post by TSRFT8
Unless they are gay or one is gay then I guess there will never be that attraction, but I seriously do believe that if they are both straight or both gay then OVER TIME they will catch feelings, its natural, its human. How many friendships have lasted between boys and girls where one has gt a partner and not once have they crossed the boundary? I would guess not many, if any at all.


Not true.
I’ve been happily married for almost thirty years. One of my closest friends is male and we’ve been friends longer than I’ve been married. He’s someone I can rely on totally. Always there. We’ve never had feelings other than friendship. His wife is lovely too
Original post by Sammylou40
Not true.
I’ve been happily married for almost thirty years. One of my closest friends is male and we’ve been friends longer than I’ve been married. He’s someone I can rely on totally. Always there. We’ve never had feelings other than friendship. His wife is lovely too


I don't know if i can speak for him but i'm pretty good at masking my emotions and inner desires in front of peoplez :cool:
yes.
That’s good for you.
I am not his type and he is not mine.
Perhaps as you get older you’ll realise that not every man fancies every woman and that friendship is in no way related to sex
Original post by TaintedLight
I don't know if i can speak for him but i'm pretty good at masking my emotions and inner desires in front of peoplez :cool:
Original post by Sammylou40
That’s good for you.
I am not his type and he is not mine.
Perhaps as you get older you’ll realise that not every man fancies every woman and that friendship is in no way related to sex

I get the feelz that you are 30+? Sure, I can agree with that. From where I'm standing right now, and my time at university, pretty much any girl friendOrNnot would pass my checklist and that's likely to change once i'm old and stuff.
well i have loads loads loads of female friends, good ones, bad ones/former ones and all.

they might wanna be more than just my friend or vice versa though. but yes, we can be friends, come on.
I am indeed!!
But don’t let hormones control what could be a lifelong friendship. You need good friends, male and female.
Don’t view every female as a potential conquest
Original post by TaintedLight
I get the feelz that you are 30+? Sure, I can agree with that. From where I'm standing right now, and my time at university, pretty much any girl friendOrNnot would pass my checklist and that's likely to change once i'm old and stuff.
Reply 98
I think definitely, however, this theologian guy from way back (Augustine of hippo, I think) always pops into my head with the idea that yes you can be friends but you will end up wanting to sleep with that person at some point. Obviously, this doesn’t account for various sexualities etc but it always crops up in the boy/girl friendship thing.
Yes - someone who is friends with girls.

Quick Reply

Latest