My boyfriend does not understand foreplay

We’ve been together for like 2 months and we’ve tried to have sex but he just rushes into it, he isn’t arsed about foreplay because he’s ‘ready’ where as for me sex is a mind game and it can only happen when i’m comfortable enough to do so. But he doesn’t build it up, he just goes straight in and tries to have sex with me but i’m never wet enough without foreplay. He thinks i’m inexperienced or whatever but i genuinely do feel awkward speaking to him about it ! Does anyone understand, and can somebody help me on something to say to him? This has happened numerous times, and each time we’ve failed to have sex.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

UWS

Just teach him.

Tell him what you want him to do.

Reply 2

101cupcake

but what do i say to him? i feel embarrassed

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

He sounds selfish. If he doesn’t care about your needs or is that oblivious, then maybe it’s time to move on. Try talking to him first. Just tell him what you like and don’t be embarrassed. If you don’t say something, then your resentment will fester and it’ll create further problems.

Reply 4

MidgetFever

I know this one all too well, smh.

Just try to guide him in the right direction, suggest things that would make you tick. Or if talking is too embarrassing/awkward, take his hands and guide him.

Reply 5

UWS

Original post by 101cupcake

but what do i say to him? i feel embarrassed

You say "Could you try doing [insert sexual preference here]?" in a nice way of course.

Nothing to be embarrassed about, if you want him to change then you have to tell him.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

well he’s just left my house now but it happened again and i kinda went in a mood with him lol he’s now left and he’s asking me what was wrong and i really want to mention it to him but i don’t know how to go about it

Reply 7

Grizwuld

Then send him an article on foreplay or a relevant link.

But really this day and age - no foreplay AND he can't pick up that there's a problem?

Get a better model!

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

he’s just left my house now and it happened again tonight, i kinda went in a mood with him about it but i didn’t talk about it, he’s left now and texting me asking me what was wrong and i want to tell him but i really don’t know how to go about it. Like what do i say, can you plz finger me or ? 😂😂 just feel super awkward

Reply 9

yudothis

Tell him straight up he needs to make you horny and he doesn't. Confront him with the truth, don't walk around it.

Reply 10

MysticImogen

Original post by Anonymous

To be honest, this is one of the beauties of being a lesbian. :s-smilie:

Spoiler

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post by Grizwuld

Then send him an article on foreplay or a relevant link.

But really this day and age - no foreplay AND he can't pick up that there's a problem?

Get a better model!

I agree. He just wants to get his end away and doesn’t care about you. You can’t teach someone to be sensual or sensitive and there are plenty of other men out there. If he’s young it’s more understandable. 25+ and forget about it.

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

dont be so submissive just take the lead he should be enjoying pleasuring you and then himself tbh
if he cant get it then abstain sex untill he plays fair

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

urgh it’s so hard because i don’t know how to tell him i feel this way because i genuinely feel embarrassed, he’ll finger me for like a minute and won’t kiss me or anything and then he tries to have sex with me and then looks at me asif it’s my fault it won’t work !

Reply 14

101cupcake

sick of it lol

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 15

It's****ingWOODY

If he tries to stick it in straight away just put your hand in front of your vag and be all like "nuh-uh-uhhhhhhh - you gots to lick it first, boy".

Reply 16

101cupcake

i really want to tell him how i feel but i’m embarrassed peopleeeee

Reply 17

Anonymous #2

Original post by 101cupcake

He’ll finger me for no more than a minute, he won’t even kiss me sometimes when we are getting sexual and then he’ll question me as to why it won’t go in