Forced into going to church

My parents are Roman Catholic, I’ve been brought up Catholic, I went to a catholic primary school and a convent for secondary school and sixth form, being dragged to mass every Sunday (I wish that was an exaggeration but it’s not). I’m now I’m my second year at uni and I don’t go to church.

I’m not a catholic anymore, before uni I guess I came off as a good Catholic, I was an altar server and I didn’t really make THAT much of a fuss going. The reasons for going were completely selfish, the guy I was “seeing” (in the loosest sense of the word) also got dragged to mass, and we always made one another’s mass more enjoyable. However, I’m not seeing him anymore, and we aren’t even talking, it’s made all the feelings I felt before I left home are still there and they are possibly worse now.

I avoid coming home, I’ll go home from a Thursday after uni to Saturday evening and they regularly question it. They are always questioning it, going as far as telling me that they wouldn’t make me go to mass, because I let it slip that actually I could stay till the Monday. However, this isn’t the case. I did it twice and both times I was forced into attending church.

It’s Easter this weekend, I haven’t come back for Maundy Thursday or Good Friday, but my parents keep threatening to pick me up on Saturday so we can “go to church together” I’ve told them I don’t believe multiple times, they’ve told me I’m going to hell and all that crap. They use the excuse that I made my confirmation when they didn’t want me too, but I was 13 and all my friends were and I didn’t want to be the one left out. Seven years later, they are still using it against me but so much has changed. Does anyone have any tips on how to get them to stop? More than anything it’s irritating for them to keep banging on about it.

So yes you’re a confirmed Catholic but seeing as you were too young to make that decision or take on that responsibility, is it really valid? You’ve been avoiding so I guess be respectful about it and tell them that you don’t feel comfortable going to church, I know whenever I step foot in my church I feel like I’m intruding and that I shouldn’t have been asked to make my confirmation until I was eighteen (I was seriously considering becoming a nun when I was fifteen, how things change in four years😂). I realise this is bad advice but maybe go for a walk in order to miss mass and then deal with the aftermath. At the end of the day you’re an adult now and although you should respect your parents, they shouldn’t dictate your spirituality. I had it easier seeing as two of my siblings had already stopped attending mass and one had refused to be confirmed. Also, God is love, the Catholic invention of purgatory makes it practically impossible to go to hell. Good luck with everything.

My parents are Roman Catholic, I’ve been brought up Catholic, I went to a catholic primary school and a convent for secondary school and sixth form, being dragged to mass every Sunday (I wish that was an exaggeration but it’s not). I’m now I’m my second year at uni and I don’t go to church.

I’m not a catholic anymore, before uni I guess I came off as a good Catholic, I was an altar server and I didn’t really make THAT much of a fuss going. The reasons for going were completely selfish, the guy I was “seeing” (in the loosest sense of the word) also got dragged to mass, and we always made one another’s mass more enjoyable. However, I’m not seeing him anymore, and we aren’t even talking, it’s made all the feelings I felt before I left home are still there and they are possibly worse now.

I avoid coming home, I’ll go home from a Thursday after uni to Saturday evening and they regularly question it. They are always questioning it, going as far as telling me that they wouldn’t make me go to mass, because I let it slip that actually I could stay till the Monday. However, this isn’t the case. I did it twice and both times I was forced into attending church.

It’s Easter this weekend, I haven’t come back for Maundy Thursday or Good Friday, but my parents keep threatening to pick me up on Saturday so we can “go to church together” I’ve told them I don’t believe multiple times, they’ve told me I’m going to hell and all that crap. They use the excuse that I made my confirmation when they didn’t want me too, but I was 13 and all my friends were and I didn’t want to be the one left out. Seven years later, they are still using it against me but so much has changed. Does anyone have any tips on how to get them to stop? More than anything it’s irritating for them to keep banging on about it.

I'm from a Catholic family, but I'm a quaker so I get it somewhat. However, I'm perfectly happy to go to mass on holy days.

It's a tricky one and I don't know that there is anything you can do to change their way of thinking ...they may well soften their attitude as you get older and increasingly independent but at the moment they still think they can (and should try to) influence you.

To avoid a huge family argument, I would probably reiterate the fact that I do not believe, but agree to go to church with them on a very occasional basis (such as Easter Sunday) - for their sake, not yours. That is, if you feel it wouldn't compromise your own happiness too much to do so? If you feel too strongly to want to do this, which would be completely understandable, then I don't see you have any choice but to spell it out to them that you won't be going to church ever again and you don't believe in hell.

hahaha same. just tell them you're not Catholic anymore. but still, mass is only an hour long, the time will just fly by. or just get other plans for Sunday so you're not available.

No I’ve tried spelling out the reason I don’t want to go- it’s a multitude of different reasons but primarily I don’t believe in it.

I was worried about summer when I went home, I would be more than willing to go twice a month to the evening mass. I obviously would go without any protest and I’d sit there in silence so not to distract my younger sister. Obviously they didn’t agree. Bit extreme (and completely unrelated) but I’m now moving half way across the world so I guess it doesn’t apply. I just don’t see the point, it turns me off mass even more and if I had a choice I probably be more inclined to go occasionally. But there’s no way I’ll be going to some masses, like Easter where I have to watch a candle being lit and then sitting in a cold church for an eternity listening to readings and singing....

I'm in a similar situation. I'm ex-Muslim and I hate going to mosque.

Honestly I wish it were that simple- I’ve told them so many times. Ahaha they’ve literally dragged me out of my plans to make me come to mass and humiliating me in the process.

They wake me up at ridiculous times in order to go to mass so I’d rather not go. Sitting in mass is bad enough but waking up at 7AM to go to mass on my day off? No way 🤷🏼*♀️

Fair enough, I don't think you should be forced to do something you feel strongly against.

I hope you didn't think I was judging you, I'm an atheist. Luckily for me my parents aren't religious either but I can see your situation must be difficult

I mean you are an adult and should chose to go to church or not. I am a practicing Catholic myself, but I hate it when people try and shove their views on others. Just put your foot down and deal with consequences, no point in taking part in something against your beliefs.

Do a Varg and torch the gaff.

Hahahah 😂😭😭😭