Should I reply or am I wasting my time? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I’ve been messaging this guy for a while now, since we were introduced through a mutual friend. We’ve spoken in person twice but only briefly as he was working. Anyway I thought he was cute so I asked him out “for drinks” to get to know him better and he seemed really keen. He wanted to know when and trying to play hard to get I told him to message me his availability. However a week passed and I hadn’t heard from so I thought I’d see if he was free. He told me he was really busy but he might have Wednesday off and that he just needed to check his schedule. Anyway it turns out he wasn’t free Wednesday but he could do Sunday so we agreed on a time place etc. Then Saturday arrives and I stilll haven’t heard from him so I check to see if the plans are still on and he replies with “sorry mate I have to work late I’m sorry“ I didn’t reply to his message cause I didn’t want to appear angry but I was honestly so upset. I’ve never really asked anyone out before and I’d rather he’d been honest and said he didn’t want to go out with me rather than arrange something and then bail. He hasn’t suggested an alternative date so it seems like he really isn’t interested but maybe I’m being too harsh. Does this seem like a genuine apology? Should I message him back or should I just move on? FYI the messages were on snapchat so he knows I’ve seen his message and that I haven’t responded. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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esralled
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(Original post by Anonymous)
trying to play hard to get [...] I’d rather he’d been honest
It sounds like you asked out a guy who hasn't got time for being played around, and wants a woman to be honest with him like you want a man to be honest with you. I'd say let him find a girl that's right for him, while you grow into a person that he would want to date.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been messaging this guy for a while now, since we were introduced through a mutual friend. We’ve spoken in person twice but only briefly as he was working. Anyway I thought he was cute so I asked him out “for drinks” to get to know him better and he seemed really keen. He wanted to know when and trying to play hard to get I told him to message me his availability. However a week passed and I hadn’t heard from so I thought I’d see if he was free. He told me he was really busy but he might have Wednesday off and that he just needed to check his schedule. Anyway it turns out he wasn’t free Wednesday but he could do Sunday so we agreed on a time place etc. Then Saturday arrives and I stilll haven’t heard from him so I check to see if the plans are still on and he replies with “sorry mate I have to work late I’m sorry“ I didn’t reply to his message cause I didn’t want to appear angry but I was honestly so upset. I’ve never really asked anyone out before and I’d rather he’d been honest and said he didn’t want to go out with me rather than arrange something and then bail. He hasn’t suggested an alternative date so it seems like he really isn’t interested but maybe I’m being too harsh. Does this seem like a genuine apology? Should I message him back or should I just move on? FYI the messages were on snapchat so he knows I’ve seen his message and that I haven’t responded. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Don't call him. Let him decide what he wants to do. If he delays too long then you need to get rid of him. Make sure that you never chase him. Don't let him use you at his convenience.
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Tizzytizzie
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If anything it’s the other way round... He’s not giving her an actual response, and thus wasting her time 🤷*♀️
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Tizzytizzie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been messaging this guy for a while now, since we were introduced through a mutual friend. We’ve spoken in person twice but only briefly as he was working. Anyway I thought he was cute so I asked him out “for drinks” to get to know him better and he seemed really keen. He wanted to know when and trying to play hard to get I told him to message me his availability. However a week passed and I hadn’t heard from so I thought I’d see if he was free. He told me he was really busy but he might have Wednesday off and that he just needed to check his schedule. Anyway it turns out he wasn’t free Wednesday but he could do Sunday so we agreed on a time place etc. Then Saturday arrives and I stilll haven’t heard from him so I check to see if the plans are still on and he replies with “sorry mate I have to work late I’m sorry“ I didn’t reply to his message cause I didn’t want to appear angry but I was honestly so upset. I’ve never really asked anyone out before and I’d rather he’d been honest and said he didn’t want to go out with me rather than arrange something and then bail. He hasn’t suggested an alternative date so it seems like he really isn’t interested but maybe I’m being too harsh. Does this seem like a genuine apology? Should I message him back or should I just move on? FYI the messages were on snapchat so he knows I’ve seen his message and that I haven’t responded. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
At this point, don’t bother. If he wants to respond- he will. Let him come you. You aren’t desperate for him, right?

...right?


So don’t be 🤷*♀️ Simple
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
Thanks I didnt message him back I just wondered if I was coming across as rude? But if he isn't interested then I guess there's no harm done.
(Original post by Tizzytizzie)
At this point, don’t bother. If he wants to respond- he will. Let him come you. You aren’t desperate for him, right?

...right?


So don’t be 🤷*♀️ Simple
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mgi
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#7
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(Original post by esralled)
It sounds like you asked out a guy who hasn't got time for being played around, and wants a woman to be honest with him like you want a man to be honest with you. I'd say let him find a girl that's right for him, while you grow into a person that he would want to date.
If you read the post carefully you will see that the guy is the one who is the time waster. And so you are, in a sense, correct; she is not suitable for him unless she likes being messed around!
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harrysbar
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been messaging this guy for a while now, since we were introduced through a mutual friend. We’ve spoken in person twice but only briefly as he was working. Anyway I thought he was cute so I asked him out “for drinks” to get to know him better and he seemed really keen. He wanted to know when and trying to play hard to get I told him to message me his availability. However a week passed and I hadn’t heard from so I thought I’d see if he was free. He told me he was really busy but he might have Wednesday off and that he just needed to check his schedule. Anyway it turns out he wasn’t free Wednesday but he could do Sunday so we agreed on a time place etc. Then Saturday arrives and I stilll haven’t heard from him so I check to see if the plans are still on and he replies with “sorry mate I have to work late I’m sorry“ I didn’t reply to his message cause I didn’t want to appear angry but I was honestly so upset. I’ve never really asked anyone out before and I’d rather he’d been honest and said he didn’t want to go out with me rather than arrange something and then bail. He hasn’t suggested an alternative date so it seems like he really isn’t interested but maybe I’m being too harsh. Does this seem like a genuine apology? Should I message him back or should I just move on? FYI the messages were on snapchat so he knows I’ve seen his message and that I haven’t responded. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Give up, OP.

He sounds flaky as anything and may even have a girlfriend already but just likes the ego boost of talking to other girls and knowing he's got options
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Zarek
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#9
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If it's angsty like this at the start it's not a good sign. He's clearly not that fussed and the only thing to do if you still hold some hopes is to leave the ball firmly in his court and see if he comes back more enthusiastic. You haven't been rude.
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londonmyst
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#10
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He doesn't sound interested or available.
Move on and find someone who is interested in dating you.
Good luck.
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ANM775
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been messaging this guy for a while now, since we were introduced through a mutual friend. We’ve spoken in person twice but only briefly as he was working. Anyway I thought he was cute so I asked him out “for drinks” to get to know him better and he seemed really keen. He wanted to know when and trying to play hard to get I told him to message me his availability. However a week passed and I hadn’t heard from so I thought I’d see if he was free. He told me he was really busy but he might have Wednesday off and that he just needed to check his schedule. Anyway it turns out he wasn’t free Wednesday but he could do Sunday so we agreed on a time place etc. Then Saturday arrives and I stilll haven’t heard from him so I check to see if the plans are still on and he replies with “sorry mate I have to work late I’m sorry“ I didn’t reply to his message cause I didn’t want to appear angry but I was honestly so upset. I’ve never really asked anyone out before and I’d rather he’d been honest and said he didn’t want to go out with me rather than arrange something and then bail. He hasn’t suggested an alternative date so it seems like he really isn’t interested but maybe I’m being too harsh. Does this seem like a genuine apology? Should I message him back or should I just move on? FYI the messages were on snapchat so he knows I’ve seen his message and that I haven’t responded. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry but he's not interested

and The "Sorry mate" part you really should have caught onto too

I mean who says that to a girl they're romantically attracted to?
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Anonymous #1
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I did catch onto the "mate" part but I didnt want to make any assumptions since I know that a lot of people speak like that regardless of the relationship but I do agree like I said originally I didnt think he was interested but I also wasnt sure if I was just being too harsh based on his reply.
(Original post by ANM775)
Sorry but he's not interested

and The "Sorry mate" part you really should have caught onto too

I mean who says that to a girl they're romantically attracted to?
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Anonymous #1
#13
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#13
Thank you!
(Original post by londonmyst)
He doesn't sound interested or available.
Move on and find someone who is interested in dating you.
Good luck.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks I didnt message him back I just wondered if I was coming across as rude? But if he isn't interested then I guess there's no harm done.
No you are not being rude. He is the one who is being disrespectful and rude. He didn't even have the courtesy to respond properly and correctly; so how are you rude by ignoring him. Ghosters should always be permanently ignored.
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Tizzytizzie
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#15
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(Original post by mgi)
No you are not being rude. He is the one who is being disrespectful and rude. He didn't even have the courtesy to respond properly and correctly; so how are you rude by ignoring him. Ghosters should always be permanently ignored.
Precisely- he’s a time waster.
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Anonymous #1
#16
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#16
UPDATE: Thank you so much for all your advice! I completely agree that he obviously wasnt interested and that was his way of friend-zoning me. I recently received a response from him apologising for his actions saying that he knows he shouldn't have done what he did and that he's really sorry for messing me about with how busy he is. He also said "I deserve better". I'm going to accept his apology and I was hoping to remain friends. But I was wondering in saying "I deserve better" is he implying that he doesn't want my friendship? Or am I just overthinking this? After all if he really didn't care he wouldn't have taken the time to apologise. I'm really not sure 🤷*♀️ so any input would be greatly appreciated!
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been messaging this guy for a while now, since we were introduced through a mutual friend. We’ve spoken in person twice but only briefly as he was working. Anyway I thought he was cute so I asked him out “for drinks” to get to know him better and he seemed really keen. He wanted to know when and trying to play hard to get I told him to message me his availability. However a week passed and I hadn’t heard from so I thought I’d see if he was free. He told me he was really busy but he might have Wednesday off and that he just needed to check his schedule. Anyway it turns out he wasn’t free Wednesday but he could do Sunday so we agreed on a time place etc. Then Saturday arrives and I stilll haven’t heard from him so I check to see if the plans are still on and he replies with “sorry mate I have to work late I’m sorry“ I didn’t reply to his message cause I didn’t want to appear angry but I was honestly so upset. I’ve never really asked anyone out before and I’d rather he’d been honest and said he didn’t want to go out with me rather than arrange something and then bail. He hasn’t suggested an alternative date so it seems like he really isn’t interested but maybe I’m being too harsh. Does this seem like a genuine apology? Should I message him back or should I just move on? FYI the messages were on snapchat so he knows I’ve seen his message and that I haven’t responded. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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