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Muslim girl and loneliness

Hi I am a Muslim girl 25 years studying in uni still a Virgin struggling with lust I have kind of a boyfriend but I told him we can’t do anything till marriage but the truth is that I don’t love him i never did I am just with him fear of being alone cause there is not many options for muslim girls
What can I do how can I tell him I don’t love him without hurting him ? And how to cope with loneliness?
Thanks

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I'm the same age, female and muslim, and at uni too. Virgin too as I haven't found a guy and don't know how I will either. Trying to be optimistic about my options, but feel like you as though options are limited if you're muslim.
About the guy. Is there anything about him you find attractive? Could he grow on you to the point where you could see yourself with him? If the thought of seeing him naked makes you cringe, which it sounds like it does, there's really no point in continuing to see him.
Do you live in a muslim area at all? My problems stem from the lack of community support (grew up and still live in a white area) but if you have a lot of muslim friends, ask them if they know of anyone trying to get married.
Wish I could be of more help. It would be great to PM you as I'm in a similar position, if you'd like that is.
try getting married as fast as possible
You knoe whats really really annoying, im a muslim guy and its a struggle to find a muslim girl to marry. It seems like the people trying to get married just cant find each other lol.

And im a virgin as well, i have literally just been considering having a relationship with a non muslim girl because finding a muslim one seems hard for some reason???
Just echoing the above point. I'm a Muslim guy, 21 and at uni. It can be really frustrating as I'm doing a course that is dominated by males so doesn't make it easier to meet like minded people.


Original post by Anonymous
You knoe whats really really annoying, im a muslim guy and its a struggle to find a muslim girl to marry. It seems like the people trying to get married just cant find each other lol.

And im a virgin as well, i have literally just been considering having a relationship with a non muslim girl because finding a muslim one seems hard for some reason???
Reply 5
Avatar for Presto
Presto
17
Original post by Studentnewcastle
Hi I am a Muslim girl 25 years studying in uni still a Virgin struggling with lust I have kind of a boyfriend but I told him we can’t do anything till marriage but the truth is that I don’t love him i never did I am just with him fear of being alone cause there is not many options for muslim girls
What can I do how can I tell him I don’t love him without hurting him ? And how to cope with loneliness?
Thanks

There is no way you can do that without hurting him and if you don't think he'd be an ideal life partner or that you can be happy with him, then no point in leading him on so be honest with him. Tell him something along the lines of 'There's no easy way to say this and I don't want to hurt your feelings but I don't love you anymore and don't think we're right for each other.'
As for the loneliness, you can try meeting new people. Try searching for Islamic conventions and such or try online.
If you still don't find anyone, then you can try out many different hobbies to stop feeling lonely: reading, gaming, exercising, writing, painting, cooking new recipes, sports, etc.
I tried to tell him I don’t want him many time but he threatened to kill him self and that it would shatter his world his just not my type but I can’t leave him he won’t let me and I don’t like the idea of being alone he think I will marry him soon but I don’t even want to be with him except virtually
Original post by Presto
There is no way you can do that without hurting him and if you don't think he'd be an ideal life partner or that you can be happy with him, then no point in leading him on so be honest with him. Tell him something along the lines of 'There's no easy way to say this and I don't want to hurt your feelings but I don't love you anymore and don't think we're right for each other.'
As for the loneliness, you can try meeting new people. Try searching for Islamic conventions and such or try online.
If you still don't find anyone, then you can try out many different hobbies to stop feeling lonely: reading, gaming, exercising, writing, painting, cooking new recipes, sports, etc.
Original post by Studentnewcastle
I tried to tell him I don’t want him many time but he threatened to kill him self and that it would shatter his world his just not my type but I can’t leave him he won’t let me and I don’t like the idea of being alone he think I will marry him soon but I don’t even want to be with him except virtually


many people do that thing where they say they will kill themselves if you leave them, just be honest with him and straight to the point and then block him and he is a Muslim so he should be fine and understanding...
emotional blackmailing? get rid!

you dont deserve any less than the best, tell him your not happy and that god has got his girl ready and its not you hes probably just as scared of being alone

you wouldnt be lonely, youre 25 and at a good age, go to events, isoc or whatever, meet people from different cultures etc until theres one who takes your fancy

but if dont have a guy that doesnt mean your lonely, heck ive been to weddings where the bride/groom were late 20s and some are approaching 30 and still single
Original post by Studentnewcastle
I tried to tell him I don’t want him many time but he threatened to kill him self and that it would shatter his world his just not my type but I can’t leave him he won’t let me and I don’t like the idea of being alone he think I will marry him soon but I don’t even want to be with him except virtually
Actually he isn’t a Muslim and he will get mad if I say u need to convert for me or anything I never got any Muslim guys I am very unsocial and I met him online he was the only one available at the time and I was lonely
Original post by verycoolperson
many people do that thing where they say they will kill themselves if you leave them, just be honest with him and straight to the point and then block him and he is a Muslim so he should be fine and understanding...
???

Thread of Muslims complaining about a problem created as a result of a personal choice made by them, one that could be rectified in an instant should they make the decision to do so. You can't create a problem for yourself and then complain about it.
Honestly, you two are just as bad as each other. He's emotionally blackmailing you by threatening to kill himself if you express your feelings and you for faking your attraction to him. Break up with him
Original post by Studentnewcastle
I tried to tell him I don’t want him many time but he threatened to kill him self and that it would shatter his world his just not my type but I can’t leave him he won’t let me and I don’t like the idea of being alone he think I will marry him soon but I don’t even want to be with him except virtually


Dump him ASAP then sister. What kind of d head would say that kind of stuff. We live in the UK and there are many many Muslims around. You should try make friends with people you work with at uni but don’t need to be too close to someone like him just because he calls himself muslim. In Islam, suicide is a major sin. Him threatening a major sin shows he’s a bad Muslim so dump him at all costs. Obviously keep safe maybe switch accommodation or something if you really need to...
I'm a Muslim girl - people don't usually guess until I tell them as I'm not that outwardly religious.

I've grown up in an affluent area with basically no diversity and I'm a v mixed race girl (middle eastern, European, Brazilian & more lol)
However I've never had any of these problems, I wasn't allowed to date until 16 but I still did and have had multiple boyfriends, I'll be 20 in October and I've had about 5/6 boyfriends since high school (only 3 that were serious) and also "done the deed".

So it's not your religion (although technically it's sinning, however, that's my choice) it's your personality and outlook on life
Reply 14
Avatar for sukzee
sukzee
2
yes you should tell him
Original post by Studentnewcastle
Hi I am a Muslim girl 25 years studying in uni still a Virgin struggling with lust I have kind of a boyfriend but I told him we can’t do anything till marriage but the truth is that I don’t love him i never did I am just with him fear of being alone cause there is not many options for muslim girls
What can I do how can I tell him I don’t love him without hurting him ? And how to cope with loneliness?
Thanks

I wont get any judgemental or religious about this is the holy way or this is what you should morally do. I know your are in a position where you don't have a lot of choices or have no choice at all but listen girl you gotta do one thing get attached to a community it...best way is to see what are things you interested in like arts music science dramatics sports or if you watch too the one i like most gaming you see what your interests are and get attached to the relevant community by joining societies in your universities and you have to let this guy loose don't stick with the people your not for save it for the ones you are for start getting social and find a circle you need friends with whom you can share things everything i believe you don't want marriage rite now or early as all your peers will be getting married not so i think you will be likewise .In short get connected to some community , do more social activities find new friends "close friends" make a or join a circle a people you love being around and get going.
"When the going gets tough the tough gets going".
i didn’t create this problem I tried to dumb but he said he would kill himself what to do ? And also his not a Muslim and he hates religion and says he would die if I left him that his whole world will crash because of me
Original post by Jackudy3
???

Thread of Muslims complaining about a problem created as a result of a personal choice made by them, one that could be rectified in an instant should they make the decision to do so. You can't create a problem for yourself and then complain about it.
I just can’t leave him nor can stay with him I don’t love him but if I don’t be with him I feel really miserable and lonely
Original post by CHANEL&DIAMONDS
Honestly, you two are just as bad as each other. He's emotionally blackmailing you by threatening to kill himself if you express your feelings and you for faking your attraction to him. Break up with him
I don’t date cause I know men will ask for sex and I don’t want to do sex with just any guy I wanna do it with a guy who will marry me and create a family with me someone who will commit his life to me I want a family and future not just a relationship
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a Muslim girl - people don't usually guess until I tell them as I'm not that outwardly religious.

I've grown up in an affluent area with basically no diversity and I'm a v mixed race girl (middle eastern, European, Brazilian & more lol)
However I've never had any of these problems, I wasn't allowed to date until 16 but I still did and have had multiple boyfriends, I'll be 20 in October and I've had about 5/6 boyfriends since high school (only 3 that were serious) and also "done the deed".

So it's not your religion (although technically it's sinning, however, that's my choice) it's your personality and outlook on life
No one wants to be by themselves, myself included. Been alone for 2 years and it sucks but it's good to be alone to clear your head.
You are the most important thing in this situation and nothing can change that.
Do what you want to do and don't look back.

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