The Student Room Group

Mixed signals - how can I figure him out?

We've been friends for a few years now, and hang out every week usually at his place. Our friendship is kind of flirty, although he's never asked me out on a date. He did however ask me to be his plus one to a wedding that took place the other week (as a friend I guess), and had said I looked beautiful before we set off. But when I got back from loo at the wedding I saw him flirt and exchange numbers with a girl.
Others always ask why we're not together, because we look so close, but he's never made a move on me and I'm so confused as to whether his flirting is just banter or not.
What can I do?

Scroll to see replies

i suppose if he wanted to make a move he would. you should probably ask him if he wants to date or just stay friends (if you want to date him ask him out). id say from what youre saying he just wants to be friends but obviously he could be in a medium between friendship and flirting/ he just wants to have an ego boost from this by knowing he can flirt with you and keep you as an option but not pursue you completely
Reply 2
Yeah...I feel like if he actually did like you, he would have asked you out, and made his intentions known.

There is a possibility that he does like you, but treasures your friendship. I wouldn't bet on that though.

If you really wanna know then ask him but prepare yourself for rejection and awkwardness. And if he does like you and wants to pursue things with you, then kudos to you. Just don't get your hopes up x
Original post by Anonymous
We've been friends for a few years now, and hang out every week usually at his place. Our friendship is kind of flirty, although he's never asked me out on a date. He did however ask me to be his plus one to a wedding that took place the other week (as a friend I guess), and had said I looked beautiful before we set off. But when I got back from loo at the wedding I saw him flirt and exchange numbers with a girl.
Others always ask why we're not together, because we look so close, but he's never made a move on me and I'm so confused as to whether his flirting is just banter or not.
What can I do?
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
We've been friends for a few years now, and hang out every week usually at his place. Our friendship is kind of flirty, although he's never asked me out on a date. He did however ask me to be his plus one to a wedding that took place the other week (as a friend I guess), and had said I looked beautiful before we set off. But when I got back from loo at the wedding I saw him flirt and exchange numbers with a girl.
Others always ask why we're not together, because we look so close, but he's never made a move on me and I'm so confused as to whether his flirting is just banter or not.
What can I do?


You would have to ask him.
Reply 4
I feel like he just wants to be friends 60% of the time, but then he’ll do or say something to make me think otherwise. I might skirt around the topic with him.
Original post by Anonymous
i suppose if he wanted to make a move he would. you should probably ask him if he wants to date or just stay friends (if you want to date him ask him out). id say from what youre saying he just wants to be friends but obviously he could be in a medium between friendship and flirting/ he just wants to have an ego boost from this by knowing he can flirt with you and keep you as an option but not pursue you completely
Reply 5
I don’t want to be direct with him, so I might maybe skirt around it? I’m so confused though. One minute he’s asking some random girl for her number, the next he’s pulling me towards him and wrapping his arms around me.
Original post by Quaye
Yeah...I feel like if he actually did like you, he would have asked you out, and made his intentions known.

There is a possibility that he does like you, but treasures your friendship. I wouldn't bet on that though.

If you really wanna know then ask him but prepare yourself for rejection and awkwardness. And if he does like you and wants to pursue things with you, then kudos to you. Just don't get your hopes up x
he sounds like a fuccboy
like the fact that he's not clear with his intentions is dodgy
Reply 8
I don’t want to be upfront about it though. Will see if I can maybe indirectly find out
Original post by mgi
You would have to ask him.
Original post by Anonymous
I don’t want to be upfront about it though. Will see if I can maybe indirectly find out


Just ask him, is my recommendation. Trying to kind of sorta indirectly try and kind of find out just prolongs and intensifies the awkwardness IMO. If you ask him, you'll have one potentially awkward conversation and then you'll both be on the same page and things will be more straightforward, one way or the other.
I’m scared I’m going to lose him as a friend if I’m direct and he doesn’t feel the same. At-least if I skirt around it and get the sense he just sees me as a friend, we can just carry on as before. He’s the most important person in my life and so I can’t risk our friendship like that.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Just ask him, is my recommendation. Trying to kind of sorta indirectly try and kind of find out just prolongs and intensifies the awkwardness IMO. If you ask him, you'll have one potentially awkward conversation and then you'll both be on the same page and things will be more straightforward, one way or the other.
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
I’m scared I’m going to lose him as a friend if I’m direct and he doesn’t feel the same. At-least if I skirt around it and get the sense he just sees me as a friend, we can just carry on as before. He’s the most important person in my life and so I can’t risk our friendship like that.

If you are direct and you lose him then that would mean that he was never your friend in the first place!
Original post by Anonymous
I’m scared I’m going to lose him as a friend if I’m direct and he doesn’t feel the same. At-least if I skirt around it and get the sense he just sees me as a friend, we can just carry on as before. He’s the most important person in my life and so I can’t risk our friendship like that.


If you've been friends for years and he values you as a friend, then you won't stop being friends if you're direct and he doesn't feel the same.
Original post by mgi
If you are direct and you lose him then that would mean that he was never your friend in the first place!

Original post by anosmianAcrimony
If you've been friends for years and he values you as a friend, then you won't stop being friends if you're direct and he doesn't feel the same.


We're in sync <3
I meant in the sense that it would make things too awkward for us to continue to hang out as normal.
Original post by mgi
If you are direct and you lose him then that would mean that he was never your friend in the first place!
Original post by Anonymous
I meant in the sense that it would make things too awkward for us to continue to hang out as normal.


If you value your friendship, you'll get over it. Awkwardness isn't the end of the world, and if avoiding awkwardness is your main priority in life, your life is going to be really boring and unfulfilled.
I agree with the others about just asking him. You may be scared to do so in fear of losing your friendship, but if you decide to ask him and get the truth no matter the cost, at least you’ll have peace about that.
You may have a point
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
If you value your friendship, you'll get over it. Awkwardness isn't the end of the world, and if avoiding awkwardness is your main priority in life, your life is going to be really boring and unfulfilled.
Reply 18
Original post by Anonymous
I meant in the sense that it would make things too awkward for us to continue to hang out as normal.


Too awkward? for you? why? he is your friend you say right? so you chat with him in a mature way, tell him how you feel and say to him that you dont want , in any event , any of your feelings to spoil your friendship with him. If he becomes unpleasant or avoids you what would be his problem? You, in effect, complimented him! Remember you are not responsible for someone else's behaviour either. If he ends up avoiding you etc then try to connect again with him. If he still acts funny then leave him alone because he cannot have been a real friend in the first place!
Reply 19
Original post by Anonymous
You may have a point

He/she does! Courage is a must in life!

Quick Reply