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Does this count as cheating?

So I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago. On the same day I got with my ex boyfriend, which was last October after a club event, I met this guy and gave him my number after he asked, I was like instantly attracted to him. My ex and I had only kinda been flirting with each other by then, nothing official, but that night we finally kissed and started seeing each other I guess? So my friends told me to stop talking to the guy and I did. He popped up a few times though and we’d have conversations, once he said something explicitly flirty and it made me feel really bad cause I was still with my ex then, this was around a month ago. I was never really happy with my ex, I mean he was a good guy but he definitely wasn’t a good boyfriend which is why I finally broke up with him after wanting to for a while. So I’m wondering if this classified as cheating? I never flirted back with the guy I think but I feel like this is a grey area in regards to cheating? Idk, just want some other opinions please

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Hard to understand! But from what I understand, I don't think it does sound like cheating
Reply 2
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
How can you be cheating with someone you're not even with?
I would say no - you didn't act on anything, nor did you flirt back with him; yes, you may have had feelings for him based on what you said, but that doesn't class as cheating in and of itself.
if you're not with someone it's not cheating but that's doesn't make it moral, admirable or reasonable in the eyes of the other person; think about how you'd feel if you really fell for someone and they said they're seeing someone else
No definitely not cheating. Don't worry, who you choose to talk to us up to you male or female. I mean getting with another guy the day you break up with another isn't the best move (in my opinion), but it doesn't count, probably just a bad judgment call on your part.
Reply 6
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EW,WHAT?
5
I guess from his point of view he didn't expect you to move on so fast so presumes that you were two timing him for a while and when you two fell apart you got with your "side hoe" which he might see as you cheating.
However from your perspective I wouldn't class it as cheating as you didn't do anything physical until you had broken up with your now ex boyfriend.
If people are accusing you of cheating you should just ignore it ,technically you didn't cheat as you have nothing legally binding you together like marriage :wink:
Reply 7
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
Hopping from one penis to another is the HOE lifestyle baby! WE STAN


I haven’t done that though🙃
Reply 8
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by UWS
How can you be cheating with someone you're not even with?


Idk, maybe it was cause I was thinking about and talking to someone else? Like I didn’t exactly act on it but I wouldn’t like it if the same was done to me
Reply 9
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by shadowdweller
I would say no - you didn't act on anything, nor did you flirt back with him; yes, you may have had feelings for him based on what you said, but that doesn't class as cheating in and of itself.


Interesting, thank you!
Original post by HoldThisL
if you're not with someone it's not cheating but that's doesn't make it moral, admirable or reasonable in the eyes of the other person; think about how you'd feel if you really fell for someone and they said they're seeing someone else


Yeah I agree, I felt really bad. The guy I was talking to didn’t know I was in a relationship which makes things worse. But I don’t think he fell for me, it was just casual chatting off and on
Original post by Anonymous
I haven’t done that though🙃


Yes. You. Have.
Original post by 5683grosart
No definitely not cheating. Don't worry, who you choose to talk to us up to you male or female. I mean getting with another guy the day you break up with another isn't the best move (in my opinion), but it doesn't count, probably just a bad judgment call on your part.


What do you mean by getting with? And I didn’t get with anyone when we broke up, I’d been talking to the other guy before my ex and I broke up. That’s why I felt bad
I think the main problem is that you might have led on either your ex or the random other guy, who might have hoped to have a real relationship with you.
Reply 14
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Original post by Anonymous
Idk, maybe it was cause I was thinking about and talking to someone else? Like I didn’t exactly act on it but I wouldn’t like it if the same was done to me


At the time, you weren't official with your ex. By definition, you weren't cheating since you weren't with anyone to cheat on.
Original post by EW,WHAT?
I guess from his point of view he didn't expect you to move on so fast so presumes that you were two timing him for a while and when you two fell apart you got with your "side hoe" which he might see as you cheating.
However from your perspective I wouldn't class it as cheating as you didn't do anything physical until you had broken up with your now ex boyfriend.
If people are accusing you of cheating you should just ignore it ,technically you didn't cheat as you have nothing legally binding you together like marriage :wink:


Omg I think people have misunderstood my post! I met the guy the same day my ex and I finally kissed, which was last October. We’d been talking casually off and on since then and my ex didn’t know about him. I haven’t dont anything with the other guy since I broke up with my ex. But thank you, I was just interested in getting different perspectives on this situation
Original post by Anonymous
Yes. You. Have.


I haven’t because I’ve done nothing with the other guy since my ex and I broke up
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
I think the main problem is that you might have led on either your ex or the random other guy, who might have hoped to have a real relationship with you.


Yeah that makes sense. I don’t think I led my ex on since he wasn’t ready or serious enough for a relationship anyways. The other guy though...you’re probably right. I’m sure it’s too late by now for a potential relationship with him which sucks :/
Original post by UWS
At the time, you weren't official with your ex. By definition, you weren't cheating since you weren't with anyone to cheat on.


Yeah when I got the other guy’s number I wasn’t with my ex yet so I suppose that’s true. Thank you
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah that makes sense. I don’t think I led my ex on since he wasn’t ready or serious enough for a relationship anyways. The other guy though...you’re probably right. I’m sure it’s too late by now for a potential relationship with him which sucks :/


Why's that? I'm sure he'd be all the more flattered if you got back in touch after some time. Don't make up reasons not to pursue things with people! But if you don't want to, then don't I guess

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