I feel stuck in my relationship help! Only ever had 1 partner What should I do?? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
So I live with my boyfriend who's a year older than I am and I love him to bits, we've been together for almost 4 years now. We have a rented apartment together and everything's going great however, I cant stop thinking about what it would be like to be with someone else? Or you know just experience sexual situations with another person Because I have never done that before.

At the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend was horrifically emotionally abusive. It was so bad and his mental health was even worse so I felt like I couldnt leave him because of that but also because of my own weakness and stupidity. I also cant say that my mental health was crystal clear either so we've pretty much built each other up and now we both are doing pretty well.

I have spoken to him slightly about an open relationship ages ago and he's said he doesnt think we should be in a relationship if thats what I want as he only wants a monogamous relationship, what is 100% fair he also said uf we broke up he could never speak to me again because it would be too painful for him what I thought was really sad.
At the time I didn't think much of actually wanting to be in and open relationship until now.

He doesnt really like to go out or hang out with people so I feel guilty for going out and hanging out with friends when he's at home and it feels so wrong and awkward. After my mental health has gotten better I am a lot more outgoing however he has kind of stayed the same and is not getting help for it (I've tried to get him to) So on nights out when people ask where he is I just have to make an excuse up. And I can feel myself building relationships with friends and meeting new ones while he is at home and it makes me feel super bad for going out.

We do have something very very beautiful together dont get me wrong theres good times and bad times however I keep getting the feeling that I want to experience more with woman and men because I like both. I also get feelings of bitterness and resentment towards him because of how he was at the start of our relationship but also towards myself because I stayed with him, didn't stick up for myself and let him walk all over me. I'm thinking of having another chat with him to basically say this. Whenever I try and talk to him about relationship problems though he gets very manic and defensive so it's hard to.

But on the other hand I love him dearly and it makes my heart literally melt, but curiosity still gets in the way.

Also we now have an 1 bed apartment together and the contract doesnt run out until February so if we did brake up were both ****ed because we still have to pay for this place and neither of us can afford to pay all of it.

I basically dont know if I should let this curiosity die and continue with this lovely relationship because it is super nice and calming to be in a relationship with him he is very nice and lovely to me but I also feel like for his sake I need to be truthful to him and tell him how I feel so then do I end it on the basis that I haven't explored sexually at all and have only ever had one partner, I feel very lost and stuck.
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mgi
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Report 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I live with my boyfriend who's a year older than I am and I love him to bits, we've been together for almost 4 years now. We have a rented apartment together and everything's going great however, I cant stop thinking about what it would be like to be with someone else? Or you know just experience sexual situations with another person Because I have never done that before.

At the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend was horrifically emotionally abusive. It was so bad and his mental health was even worse so I felt like I couldnt leave him because of that but also because of my own weakness and stupidity. I also cant say that my mental health was crystal clear either so we've pretty much built each other up and now we both are doing pretty well.

I have spoken to him slightly about an open relationship ages ago and he's said he doesnt think we should be in a relationship if thats what I want as he only wants a monogamous relationship, what is 100% fair he also said uf we broke up he could never speak to me again because it would be too painful for him what I thought was really sad.
At the time I didn't think much of actually wanting to be in and open relationship until now.

He doesnt really like to go out or hang out with people so I feel guilty for going out and hanging out with friends when he's at home and it feels so wrong and awkward. After my mental health has gotten better I am a lot more outgoing however he has kind of stayed the same and is not getting help for it (I've tried to get him to) So on nights out when people ask where he is I just have to make an excuse up. And I can feel myself building relationships with friends and meeting new ones while he is at home and it makes me feel super bad for going out.

We do have something very very beautiful together dont get me wrong theres good times and bad times however I keep getting the feeling that I want to experience more with woman and men because I like both. I also get feelings of bitterness and resentment towards him because of how he was at the start of our relationship but also towards myself because I stayed with him, didn't stick up for myself and let him walk all over me. I'm thinking of having another chat with him to basically say this. Whenever I try and talk to him about relationship problems though he gets very manic and defensive so it's hard to.

But on the other hand I love him dearly and it makes my heart literally melt, but curiosity still gets in the way.

Also we now have an 1 bed apartment together and the contract doesnt run out until February so if we did brake up were both ****ed because we still have to pay for this place and neither of us can afford to pay all of it.

I basically dont know if I should let this curiosity die and continue with this lovely relationship because it is super nice and calming to be in a relationship with him he is very nice and lovely to me but I also feel like for his sake I need to be truthful to him and tell him how I feel so then do I end it on the basis that I haven't explored sexually at all and have only ever had one partner, I feel very lost and stuck.
So, do you really love him? what are you wanting from him that you can't get? Why did you move in with him?He is using psychological tactics to restrict you
Last edited by mgi; 4 weeks ago
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