Need advice on how to get over a bad fight with my partner, struggling to forgive him

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Reply 80

Molseh

Your post history would suggest it is far from temporary.

Original post by Ciel.

A temporary lapse of judgment doesn't make me evil.

Reply 81

London090

This probably isn't going to be what you want to hear but I think you should end the relationship. If it's gotten to the point where you don't want him to touch you anymore and his attitude reminds you of someone you "hate" then this isn't worth it and it won't last. If you want this to still work out then you both need to take time apart and live separately for a while to work yourselves out. If you don't think you want this relationship badly then let it go. I hope it works out well for you.

Reply 82

Ciel.

Original post by Molseh

Your post history would suggest it is far from temporary.

But it is. I'm currently on my best behaviour. 😂

Reply 83

Ciel.

Original post by London090

I know what you mean, but I hope that my aversion towards him is temporary. We can' 'live separately for a while', because I can't just move out.

Reply 84

Tawny007

This relationship sounds quite toxic for both parties involved.
I've been reading the comments and it sounds like you've cheated a few times and he's ended up hitting you as well.
I would 💯 agree with some other commenters saying that the relationship may have run its course but I've seen OP respond saying it's not an option, do you mind me asking why it is completely not an option?

Reply 85

Ciel.

Original post by Tawny007

Because I don't want to break up with him. I don't want to be in a long term thing with anyone else. He knows me better than anyone, because he's been with me through my worst times, he knows things I would NEVER share with other people. Besides, I have nowhere to go.

Reply 86

Tawny007

Original post by Ciel.

It sounds like a fear of the unknown more than a genuine want for this relationship. It doesn't sound healthy. Personally if I were in your shoes I would end it and focus on yourself for a while, it sounds like you have some 'demons' (it's what I call my mental health battles) of your own to conquer and then once you've done that, there might be the chance to reconcile this relationship again or if not you'll be in a better place to start a new relationship which may be better for you.

This is from an outside perspective and on limited knowledge of your whole relationship. None of this is meant to cause any offence and is just purely opinion.

Reply 87

Ciel.

Original post by Tawny007

No, I know exactly what I want, it's not purely because I'm 'comfortable' in our relationship. I guess I just need a short break from him. Oh, and it's fine, I'm not offended.

Reply 88

Tawny007

Original post by Ciel.

No, I know exactly what I want, it's not purely because I'm 'comfortable' in our relationship. I guess I just need a short break from him. Oh, and it's fine, I'm not offended.

Then maybe you've just solved it yourself... go on a break for a while.
Hope you can sort it out, all the best 😊

OP is a man.

He lost his temper and reacted in a physical way. Sorry but most people wouldn't physically restrain someone, maybe you would though. We'll agree to disagree on this one.

Original post by Ciel.

No, it won't. This isn't a new relationship, he's a good person.

Reply 91

username2393237

There’s never an excuse for physical violence. I think the relationship is toxic on both sides and it’s probably time to release it. You need to work on your own issues before starting something again. It’s probably a co-dependent relationship at this stage.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 92

Ciel.

Original post by earlybird88

He lost his temper and reacted in a physical way. Sorry but most people wouldn't physically restrain someone, maybe you would though. We'll agree to disagree on this one.

I can have that effect on people sometimes, lol.

Reply 93

username2393237

Original post by Ciel.

I can have that effect on people sometimes, lol.

Everyone is extremely infuriating at times, but that’s no excuse.

Reply 94

Ciel.

Original post by YaliaV

Everyone is extremely infuriating at times, but that’s no excuse.

It is in my case. I can be a horrible person sometimes, believe me.

Reply 95

gjd800

I'd just drink the glumness away, but that is neither sustainable nor healthy!

Reply 96

Ciel.

Original post by gjd800

I'd just drink the glumness away, but that is neither sustainable nor healthy!

Alcohol doesn't mix well with benzos, it turns me into a depressed af, grumpy mess. 😆

Reply 97

gjd800

Original post by Ciel.

Alcohol doesn't mix well with benzos, it turns me into a depressed af, grumpy mess. 😆

Oh shite yeah, I forget that you're on those things. Definitely do not follow my example!

Reply 98

username2393237

Original post by Ciel.

It is in my case. I can be a horrible person sometimes, believe me.

Everyone is capable of being great and horrible. You seem a bit lost, so you do things you’re not proud of. Nobody ever deserves to be abused. You should think about what you want from life and go for it. Don’t settle for a crappy relationship because you feel worthless.

Reply 99

Ciel.

Original post by gjd800

Oh shite yeah, I forget that you're on those things. Definitely do not follow my example!

Haha, sometimes I still drink tbh. Just not in the mood today.

Original post by YaliaV

Eh, I wouldn't call it crappy. We both have our issues but overall, he's a great guy. I stopped trying to figure out what I really want ages ago, lol.