Fancy my friend need help and quick!!

Hey so
I few years ago I had a friend (I am a girl btw) we were really good friends, almost TOO GOOD if you know what I'm saying, she is a girl as well. We got on really well, we were in a friendship group that wasn't very nice so we started reaching out to find some new friends, the problem is I had really bad social anxiety that at that point was not yet diagnosed. (It is now.) We met some lovely people and my 'friend' got on with them really well, but I was too shy to talk to them. I ended up convincing myself she would be better off without me, and that I would be better off were I was even though that was a lie. I wanted her to be happy and I was holding her back. Ok so flash forward a few years time, and we never talk, but I am lonely and getting bullied by our old friendship group, and the hardest thing is she thinks I hate her and left her for no reason, and she never knew I had a crush on her. Although it was kind of obvious. She is bi as well as me. We are leaving the school soon and she just put up one of those anonymous post things on insta, I want to write something showing her I don't hate her that makes her wonder if it's me, but doesn't directly show it's me. What do I put help. I cant go back to her now, because she is always with this other girl, but I will be hsplt knowing that she knows I don't hate her. I know it was a long time ago, but she was the only one I could talk to my anxiety and depression about and who understood it, my parents don't really understand, i'm getting a fresh start this year so hopefully everything should be better. Anyway what should I out that's not too obvious.

Is there a reason you can't message her privately to explain all this? It seems like it might be better for both of you to clear the air properly. You don't necessarily need to mention the crush, if that's what's holding you back.

As it was so long ago, well like 1 and a half years, and we did talk a little on and off, but its because of her other friends, and I just don't know how she'll react I'm too scared basically.

Is there a reason you can't message her privately to explain all this? It seems like it might be better for both of you to clear the air properly. You don't necessarily need to mention the crush, if that's what's holding you back.

As it was so long ago, well like 1 and a half years, and we did talk a little on and off, but its because of her other friends, and I just don't know how she'll react I'm too scared basically.

As well as this even if I did tell her there nothing we could do its nearly the end of school forever, so it's too late to join all her friends I'm so stuck.

Personally I'd still be inclined to tell her directly, possibly over messenger or similar if you're scared; it doesn't need to be about joining her and her friends, just about making it clear you don't hate her if you're worried about that.

If you are firmly on the anon plan, I'll have a think if there's anything you could send.

Hey so
I few years ago I had a friend (I am a girl btw) we were really good friends, almost TOO GOOD if you know what I'm saying, she is a girl as well. We got on really well, we were in a friendship group that wasn't very nice so we started reaching out to find some new friends, the problem is I had really bad social anxiety that at that point was not yet diagnosed. (It is now.) We met some lovely people and my 'friend' got on with them really well, but I was too shy to talk to them. I ended up convincing myself she would be better off without me, and that I would be better off were I was even though that was a lie. I wanted her to be happy and I was holding her back. Ok so flash forward a few years time, and we never talk, but I am lonely and getting bullied by our old friendship group, and the hardest thing is she thinks I hate her and left her for no reason, and she never knew I had a crush on her. Although it was kind of obvious. She is bi as well as me. We are leaving the school soon and she just put up one of those anonymous post things on insta, I want to write something showing her I don't hate her that makes her wonder if it's me, but doesn't directly show it's me. What do I put help. I cant go back to her now, because she is always with this other girl, but I will be hsplt knowing that she knows I don't hate her. I know it was a long time ago, but she was the only one I could talk to my anxiety and depression about and who understood it, my parents don't really understand, i'm getting a fresh start this year so hopefully everything should be better. Anyway what should I out that's not too obvious.

just put something simple straight from the heart just be like we had a great few years would love to chat sometimes soon maybe x" nothing too forward or desperate something chill. I think a catchup between you two is overdue and just talk things out, even if things still remain the same at least both of you would have the closure you needed or rather she needed back then

Trust me...do what you want to do and she'll accept your apology and tell her the truth.

Yes I think I will tell her on the last day of school, face to face I am nervous but as you say at least she will have closer I wasn't able to give her, before we move on with our lives.

who knows where it'll lead tbh but at least if its bothering you, you'd get it over and done w

I don't know but at least if it goes wrong I have closure and, I won't have to see her again, if it goes wrong. I really worry about being a selfish horrible person for leaving her alone, but at the time I really believed I had her best interests at heart, and I cared about her so much, I didn't want her to stay miserable with these horrible people forever, so I just did what I thought was right. I will text her if I can't talk face to face i'll let you know what happens in a few weeks time.

Hey..dont think of the negative side. Its gonna be fine...just take it slow and you will ace it. And do talk face to face so that you can express your real emotions and make her understand more.

I don't know but at least if it goes wrong I have closure and, I won't have to see her again, if it goes wrong. I really worry about being a selfish horrible person for leaving her alone, but at the time I really believed I had her best interests at heart, and I cared about her so much, I didn't want her to stay miserable with these horrible people forever, so I just did what I thought was right. I will text her if I can't talk face to face i'll let you know what happens in a few weeks time.

I will really try to as I want to talk face to face as I know it's the right thing to do, thanks for your support I literally don't have any friends who will listen to me so this really helps, and means a lot to me.

I know people hurt the people they care ab the most, and im sure if she was your friend she'd understand and maybe you can reach a new boundary together but who knows. Do tell me how it goes x