Is it okay to feel worried and jealous??

Jealousy is a killer. Relationships end because of jealous conflicts, and people kill other people because they are jealous.

Imagine this. You are at a party and someone is friendly and you smile. Your partner thinks that you are betraying her. Or your partner tells you a funny story about a former lover, and you feel threatened. You feel the anger and the anxiety rising inside you, and you don’t know what to do.Happens right?

Of course, he still might go ahead and cheat anyway. In that case at least it wasn't your fault. It was his. It was him being the way that he is. In which case you shouldn't beat yourself up about it as you got into a relationship on the basis of the information available to you. And that information didn't include whether he cheats at festivals or not.

It's OK for you to feel jealous.

However you are slightly more likely to keep him faithful, or honest in the event of him cheating, if you do not show him any jealousy whatsoever.
Keep your jealousy 100% bottled up. No jealous texts. No jealous conversations.

Instead, act and speak like you are 100% secure in yourself and in him.

Send him off with your best wishes that he will enjoy himself.

That way you'll maximise his feelings of guilt in the event of him being tempted. Because he'll be thinking that you are such an angel that he'd have to be a despicable man to cheat on you.

Of course, he still might go ahead and cheat anyway. In that case at least it wasn't your fault. It was his. It was him being the way that he is. In which case you shouldn't beat yourself up about it as you got into a relationship on the basis of the information available to you. And that information didn't include whether he cheats at festivals or not.

If the worst happens it's not the end of the world. Even if your relationship with him ends, there's plenty more fish in the sea.

There's also the positive that he has an active social life. That's a good trait for him to have.
As well as the positve that he's an attractive enough package for other women to be attracted to him.

Thats true, and thanks for that i know i shouldn’t be jealous but sometimes i cant control my mind of thinking stuff what his doing surrounded by half naked ladies. Anyways i can probably survive ‘till he gets back from that festival, i will just keep myself busy and distract myself on something to do.

Implying that cheating is ever anyone's fault other than that of the cheater?

It's OK for you to feel jealous.

However you are slightly more likely to keep him faithful, or honest in the event of him cheating, if you do not show him any jealousy whatsoever.
Keep your jealousy 100% bottled up. No jealous texts. No jealous conversations.

Instead, act and speak like you are 100% secure in yourself and in him.

Send him off with your best wishes that he will enjoy himself.

That way you'll maximise his feelings of guilt in the event of him being tempted. Because he'll be thinking that you are such an angel that he'd have to be a despicable man to cheat on you.

Of course, he still might go ahead and cheat anyway. In that case at least it wasn't your fault. It was his. It was him being the way that he is. In which case you shouldn't beat yourself up about it as you got into a relationship on the basis of the information available to you. And that information didn't include whether he cheats at festivals or not.

If the worst happens it's not the end of the world. Even if your relationship with him ends, there's plenty more fish in the sea.

There's also the positive that he has an active social life. That's a good trait for him to have.
As well as the positve that he's an attractive enough package for other women to be attracted to him.

Implying that cheating is ever anyone's fault other than that of the cheater?

My boyfriend is gone for a weekend trip to a music festival, i’m kinda jealous and worried that there are might be some girls hitting on him. I know i trust my boyfriend but i don't trust the people around him and his too nice and kind to ladies. I m kind of worried and paranoid about it i don’t know how i feel but I'm trying not to show it to him on text but inside me its just so much to take. When he bought that ticket to a music festival we've started Dating and i get it that he didn't ask me to come. I ask my concern here to at least hear other advice and opinion on what to do.

Hi,

I know what it feels like to worry about be jealous. In my case, it's not that I don't trust my boyfriend, it's just that I don't think I'm good enough for him - and I honestly believe that one day he'll meet someone who makes him realise this. I'm not suggesting he will cheat on me, just that he'll realise I'm not good enough.

But.. you have to let him live his life. If he wants to go out drinking or to festivals, you have to trust that he can do this without cheating on you. Or if you can't trust it, you have to learn to manage your feelings so you keep them to yourself. I know people who throw things at their partners during arguments like "I bet you slept with X that weekend" and that's just not cool.

Jealousy honestly does drive people apart, and you have to do absolutely everything that you possible can to avoid that from being the case. Work on your own feelings before you mention anything to him.

Hi Mel40,

He's probably just a regular, nice guy, who's kind to people in general. I work with the public, and try to be the nicest I can to everyone. They're always grumpy when they get through to me, and I try to make them laugh to put them at their ease. But people at work think I'm flirting (even when it's with the same sex - they just say they're open minded and I can flirt with whichever sex I like???!). My younger son is popular with the ladies, but only because he is charming and good looking. He never acts on it because he adores his amazing girlfriend, and would eat all his books before he even dreamed of cheating on her. Just enjoy your relationship, and don't worry unless you have something concrete to worry about.

I know it's hard, but please try not to be jealous. Otherwise you will turn into more of a nagging mother figure than an alluring girlfriend.

Just be grateful your boyfriend isn't a complete wazzock.

Best wishes and good luck.

Hi,

I know what it feels like to worry about be jealous. In my case, it's not that I don't trust my boyfriend, it's just that I don't think I'm good enough for him - and I honestly believe that one day he'll meet someone who makes him realise this. I'm not suggesting he will cheat on me, just that he'll realise I'm not good enough.

But.. you have to let him live his life. If he wants to go out drinking or to festivals, you have to trust that he can do this without cheating on you. Or if you can't trust it, you have to learn to manage your feelings so you keep them to yourself. I know people who throw things at their partners during arguments like "I bet you slept with X that weekend" and that's just not cool.

Jealousy honestly does drive people apart, and you have to do absolutely everything that you possible can to avoid that from being the case. Work on your own feelings before you mention anything to him.

If you're on your own for the weekend, is your boyfriend going to be worried and jealous that you've got boys hitting on you because he doesn't trust the people around you? What about when he's back from the festival? He could get women interested in him at work, or out shopping, or going for a walk in a park...

See? It can go both ways and it's going to get ridiculous if you worry about your boyfriend every time he does something on his own. Relationships don't work if there's no trust and you both need your own space as well; nothing worse than being clingy, and that will come over if it's 'did you do this, are you ok, miss you'. If your boyfriend is busy, be independent and do your own activities.