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My boyfriends relationship with his little brother disturbs me extremely

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I love him dearly but there’s one thing that’s putting me off and worrying me. He is weirdly close with his 4 year old brother.
My boyfriend is 18 and his brother is 4, there is a major age difference. My boyfriend will have his little brother in bed NAKED with him and play with his naked little brother IN HIS BED. As in wrestle him tickle him etc. Also, my boyfriend would constantly leave me upstairs in his room to go play with his brother downstairs, which makes NO sense as I barely have time to visit and he lives with his brother 24/7 anyway. I find this extremely odd and it makes me very uncomfortable. Like really? What 18 year old hangs with a 4 year old over his girlfriend. What confuses me most is the age difference, if they were closer in age I would understand why they’d be so close, but 18 and 4???? I don’t see the connection. Please help, this has been really bothering me and I don’t know what to do

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he's probably bathed the kid this is just a caring brother, perhaps express your feelings and say you would like to spend more time with him :smile:
Original post by Emily779
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I love him dearly but there’s one thing that’s putting me off and worrying me. He is weirdly close with his 4 year old brother.
My boyfriend is 18 and his brother is 4, there is a major age difference. My boyfriend will have his little brother in bed NAKED with him and play with his naked little brother IN HIS BED. As in wrestle him tickle him etc. Also, my boyfriend would constantly leave me upstairs in his room to go play with his brother downstairs, which makes NO sense as I barely have time to visit and he lives with his brother 24/7 anyway. I find this extremely odd and it makes me very uncomfortable. Like really? What 18 year old hangs with a 4 year old over his girlfriend. What confuses me most is the age difference, if they were closer in age I would understand why they’d be so close, but 18 and 4???? I don’t see the connection. Please help, this has been really bothering me and I don’t know what to do
That does sound very odd, I’m 19 and I’d feel uncomfortable as heck touching my 5 year old brother when he’s naked. Especially not in bed with me, and also leaving you in his room to go hang with his bro is plain rude. Your feelings should come first, talk to him about it and solve the problem.
Original post by Emily779
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I love him dearly but there’s one thing that’s putting me off and worrying me. He is weirdly close with his 4 year old brother.
My boyfriend is 18 and his brother is 4, there is a major age difference. My boyfriend will have his little brother in bed NAKED with him and play with his naked little brother IN HIS BED. As in wrestle him tickle him etc. Also, my boyfriend would constantly leave me upstairs in his room to go play with his brother downstairs, which makes NO sense as I barely have time to visit and he lives with his brother 24/7 anyway. I find this extremely odd and it makes me very uncomfortable. Like really? What 18 year old hangs with a 4 year old over his girlfriend. What confuses me most is the age difference, if they were closer in age I would understand why they’d be so close, but 18 and 4???? I don’t see the connection. Please help, this has been really bothering me and I don’t know what to do


Just sounds a normal older brother to me, nothing untoward here.

Perhaps explain you feel a little bit left out sometimes so you can work something out with him.
There's nothing strange there. Little kids sometimes don't like wearing clothes so they take them off.
Original post by Emily779
My boyfriend is 18 and his brother is 4, there is a major age difference. My boyfriend will have his little brother in bed NAKED with him and play with his naked little brother IN HIS BED. As in wrestle him tickle him etc.


that's not that weird but you should definitely ask him to spend more time with you
Yes I understand that, but why would my boyfriend be so okay with it? He’s a grown man with a 4 year old naked boy in his bed, I just find it a bit awkward
Original post by sinfonietta
There's nothing strange there. Little kids sometimes don't like wearing clothes so they take them off.
I wouldn't be concerned that your boyfriend (who I hope will soon be your ex boyfriend) is less attached to you these days and more concerned with the fact that he's clearly a paedo!!!
Wtf, I understand brothers and sisters might play and be mischievous by taking their clothes off, but he’s 18? And touching his 4 year old brother naked? I mean what if he accidentally touched or brushed passed his bits? I know every family’s different but I have to agree with you there that I find it odd
Original post by Emily779
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I love him dearly but there’s one thing that’s putting me off and worrying me. He is weirdly close with his 4 year old brother.
My boyfriend is 18 and his brother is 4, there is a major age difference. My boyfriend will have his little brother in bed NAKED with him and play with his naked little brother IN HIS BED. As in wrestle him tickle him etc. Also, my boyfriend would constantly leave me upstairs in his room to go play with his brother downstairs, which makes NO sense as I barely have time to visit and he lives with his brother 24/7 anyway. I find this extremely odd and it makes me very uncomfortable. Like really? What 18 year old hangs with a 4 year old over his girlfriend. What confuses me most is the age difference, if they were closer in age I would understand why they’d be so close, but 18 and 4???? I don’t see the connection. Please help, this has been really bothering me and I don’t know what to do
Reply 9
Avatar for kremit
kremit
19
Original post by Jamesman1
I wouldn't be concerned that your boyfriend (who I hope will soon be your ex boyfriend) is less attached to you these days and more concerned with the fact that he's clearly a paedo!!!


So when a brother takes care of his little brother and bonds with him it makes him a pedo??
Reply 10
Avatar for Emily779
Emily779
OP
4
Yes, but when it’s naked bonding... I mean there are other ways to bond then being naked, also he’s 18 and the kid is 4, let that sink in
Original post by luji
So when a brother takes care of his little brother and bonds with him it makes him a pedo??
Reply 11
Avatar for HaH99
HaH99
5
Theres something wrong there, and I'd be worried, like leaving a girl, you dont see all the time, to be with a brother, that you live with, is odd
YOU ARE INCORRECT, this is what a brother would do, not to such an extent always but he probably takes care of the kid. He obviously cares about his family. This shows commitment and ability, granted if the kid was 6 then its worrying. At 4 they're practically just out of nappies.
Original post by Jamesman1
I wouldn't be concerned that your boyfriend (who I hope will soon be your ex boyfriend) is less attached to you these days and more concerned with the fact that he's clearly a paedo!!!
Reply 13
Avatar for kremit
kremit
19
Original post by Emily779
Yes, but when it’s naked bonding... I mean there are other ways to bond then being naked, also he’s 18 and the kid is 4, let that sink in

Usually age gap siblings get along better
And the kid being naked I mean he's 4 and you see the kid naked too so technically it means he doesn't like putting on clothes and this is normal for him.
If you feel left out talk to him but the fact that he cares so much for his brother should tell you that he's a good person
I mean didn't Michael Jackson used to sleep in the same bed as youngsters naked?
Original post by luji
Usually age gap siblings get along better
And the kid being naked I mean he's 4 and you see the kid naked too so technically it means he doesn't like putting on clothes and this is normal for him.
If you feel left out talk to him but the fact that he cares so much for his brother should tell you that he's a good person
Reply 15
Avatar for kremit
kremit
19
Original post by Jamesman1
I mean didn't Michael Jackson used to sleep in the same bed as youngsters naked?


where they his siblings? no
and the age gap was much larger
Reply 16
Avatar for kremit
kremit
19
Original post by luji
where they his siblings? no
and the age gap was much larger


also not to forget to mention they weren't 4 they were much older and more mature than a 4 year old kid
Original post by Emily779
Yes, but when it’s naked bonding... I mean there are other ways to bond then being naked, also he’s 18 and the kid is 4, let that sink in


He's practically raised the kid since he was a baby and looked after, presumably bathed him etc - been a helping hand to his mum. As a youngster, I used to run around naked all the time, so there is nothing intrinsically wrong with him being comfortable with his younger brother's nudity if that is what he is used to. It really is worrying over nothing - he is just (presumably) a loving older brother who is fond of the little guy
Reply 18
Avatar for HaH99
HaH99
5
Original post by Largest Bob
YOU ARE INCORRECT, this is what a brother would do, not to such an extent always but he probably takes care of the kid. He obviously cares about his family. This shows commitment and ability, granted if the kid was 6 then its worrying. At 4 they're practically just out of nappies.


look, theres nothing wrong with the nudity, but whys he spending that much him?
the naked bit could be worrying, or it could be very normal depending on the context.

When I was around his brothers age, I loved to run around my home naked shouting "I am naked-boy!" to my families amusement... I remember me and my friends at the time playing naked games and all sorts. Nudity for kids just means nothing, there is no embarrassment like there is for older people.

Now, if your brother is naked, that's different. You didn't really make it clear, but for me that's the line. If I had a son, and he was running around naked and I was playing with him.. my wife would think that perfectly normal. But if he was naked and then I was like "right, time for me to get naked to" = warning signs flashing.

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