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Abusive Mother

Ive pretty much grown up my entire life being physically, verbally and mentally abused by my mother and I'm honestly just tired of it. I can't speak out about this because I would pretty much put my life in danger and would bring 'shame' to my family. I can't move out, im constantly in fear for my life. im stressed and I have anxiety. I need help but im honestly too scared to speak out and idk what to do. im muslim and we live in a tight knit community and this theme is sorta common but I really think even this situation is abnormal to many others. im so tired of this

today I was fasting and I still haven't been able to break my fast because she wouldn't let me. I honestly feel so sick and alone and im wits end, repeating this same pattern of abuse every single ****ing day of my life.

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Wtf why can't you break your fast? Also how old are you? Are you in uni?
Reply 2
Original post by DedicatedWizard
Wtf why can't you break your fast? Also how old are you? Are you in uni?


im 18 and yes im in uni. when I came down to the kitchen she just kicked me out. I wish I could move out but they won't let me
Go to the bathroom and drink water !!

Siblings? Dad? Are the stopping you from breaking your fast?

Call your uncles/aunties and tell them this is happening
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
Go to the bathroom and drink water !!

Siblings? Dad? Are the stopping you from breaking your fast?

Call your uncles/aunties and tell them this is happening


my father isn't around and she took my phone. im the eldest anyways, all my siblings see what she does but they either blame me for it or just turn a blind eye. I broke my fast now but I can't have anything. I don't really have anyone that would tell her what she's doing is wrong
my father would tell me she's doing it out of love and others would tell me she's my mother so I have to 'obey' her
Move out to halls in uni.
Reply 6
Original post by Illusination
Move out to halls in uni.


They won't let me move out. I wish I could..
Original post by Anonymous
They won't let me move out. I wish I could..


Well you can. Take out a loan, and move out. And tell your mother how you feel. It's ridiculous you have to put up with this. You need to stand up for yourself.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
my father isn't around and she took my phone. im the eldest anyways, all my siblings see what she does but they either blame me for it or just turn a blind eye. I broke my fast now but I can't have anything. I don't really have anyone that would tell her what she's doing is wrong
my father would tell me she's doing it out of love and others would tell me she's my mother so I have to 'obey' her


are you female?
This isn't 'doing it out of love'. This is you being stripped up and tortured, and it is affecting you big time. YOU NEED TO SPEAK UP before it's too late.
Original post by Anonymous
my father isn't around and she took my phone. im the eldest anyways, all my siblings see what she does but they either blame me for it or just turn a blind eye. I broke my fast now but I can't have anything. I don't really have anyone that would tell her what she's doing is wrong
my father would tell me she's doing it out of love and others would tell me she's my mother so I have to 'obey' her
Original post by Pkqueen
are you female?


yeh I am
Original post by MydaMina
This isn't 'doing it out of love'. This is you being stripped up and tortured, and it is affecting you big time. YOU NEED TO SPEAK UP before it's too late.


I know I really want to but ill be shamed by everyone and there's a real chance that someone would try to kill me. I really can't take living like this but speaking out is not an option
Original post by Anonymous
my father isn't around and she took my phone. im the eldest anyways, all my siblings see what she does but they either blame me for it or just turn a blind eye. I broke my fast now but I can't have anything. I don't really have anyone that would tell her what she's doing is wrong
my father would tell me she's doing it out of love and others would tell me she's my mother so I have to 'obey' her

Even if it is one or even 10 massive fights she’s gonna. Have to go through it because you know she’s not treating you right.

I’m Muslim too and have been through this stuff. You have to raise your voice and challenge them. If she tries to hit it’s jn the Quran for self defence you can push her away if she does try and strike.

Go into the kitchen and eat what you can :hugs: if you go to uni lectures maybe buy stuff on the way back and hit it in your room?

But you have to challenge her
Sister please what mother is doing is not loving u have to be strong I advice u to get in contact with someone u trust. Try speaking to ur university or perhaos tpmuslim woman helpline (mwn helpline) they would be more experience to help you remeber Allah does not a test a soul more than it can bear and may ur mother be guided
Original post by Anonymous
Even if it is one or even 10 massive fights she’s gonna. Have to go through it because you know she’s not treating you right.

I’m Muslim too and have been through this stuff. You have to raise your voice and challenge them. If she tries to hit it’s jn the Quran for self defence you can push her away if she does try and strike.

Go into the kitchen and eat what you can :hugs: if you go to uni lectures maybe buy stuff on the way back and hit it in your room?

But you have to challenge her

can you let me know where it says that? I sometimes feel like this religion condones it and im so confused. I honestly don't want to go downstairs cuz it will end up in a confrontation and I don't think I can survive another today. I have splitting headache and Idk if its from all the crying or from being bashed on the head with a metal spatula.

university ended and she knows that. they won't let me leave the house so im stuck at home for 3 months. she doesn't understand the concept or personal space or anything like that. I lied and told her I had some paper to write so I still have my laptop but soon enough she'll take it too. im just so desperate for help but at the same time I don't know how anyone can help me without this being escalated even further
As the other anonymous person has mentioned, you'll have to challenge her. Clearly, she hasn't been taught motherhood properly as I guarantee you, no mother will treat her daughter like garbage, EVER. You will have to stand up, if your mother gets abusive, you can immediately act in self-defence or even call the police/social services immediately! And no this isn't bringing shame upon your family, this is you standing up for your own right, and saying ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
Original post by Anonymous
I know I really want to but ill be shamed by everyone and there's a real chance that someone would try to kill me. I really can't take living like this but speaking out is not an option
Original post by Anonymous
can you let me know where it says that? I sometimes feel like this religion condones it and im so confused. I honestly don't want to go downstairs cuz it will end up in a confrontation and I don't think I can survive another today. I have splitting headache and Idk if its from all the crying or from being bashed on the head with a metal spatula.

university ended and she knows that. they won't let me leave the house so im stuck at home for 3 months. she doesn't understand the concept or personal space or anything like that. I lied and told her I had some paper to write so I still have my laptop but soon enough she'll take it too. im just so desperate for help but at the same time I don't know how anyone can help me without this being escalated even further

‘Permission (to fight) has been given to those who are being wronged’ 22:39

Metal spoon oh my :lovehug:

Are there any problems in her family side? Stiff she’s not telling yu? Does this happen every Ramadan... if there’s a time where she’s calm maybe make her tea and ask her why she does it then you have to defend yourself

People will say ‘you’re 18’ blah blah but I k is we can’t move out haha

hey, if your siblings go to school give them money and tell them go buy food for you

All you can do now is rest your head wake up before your mum does for sehri and take as much food into your room

Highly recommend talking to a nice aunt or uncle and telling them xx
Original post by MydaMina
As the other anonymous person has mentioned, you'll have to challenge her. Clearly, she hasn't been taught motherhood properly as I guarantee you, no mother will treat her daughter like garbage, EVER. You will have to stand up, if your mother gets abusive, you can immediately act in self-defence or even call the police/social services immediately! And no this isn't bringing shame upon your family, this is you standing up for your own right, and saying ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

I actually have before and it just ends up with me all bruised up. she has moments where I absolutely adore her but others where I just wish I wasn't born into this family. and its really so much more complicated than that. I remember going to primary school all beaten up and not saying a word. its just instilled in us to never say anything and I don't think I ever could. if I do the consequences would be far worse. I mean what would they do? lock her up?
Original post by Anonymous
I actually have before and it just ends up with me all bruised up. she has moments where I absolutely adore her but others where I just wish I wasn't born into this family. and its really so much more complicated than that. I remember going to primary school all beaten up and not saying a word. its just instilled in us to never say anything and I don't think I ever could. if I do the consequences would be far worse. I mean what would they do? lock her up?

she’ll have a few days in the police station I think

My dads twisted my arm in a rage and other stuff my mums left me in a house locked up for 2 weeks with only cookies and milk to eat

But you need to confront her !!! When she’s calm
Original post by Anonymous
‘Permission (to fight) has been given to those who are being wronged’ 22:39

Metal spoon oh my :lovehug:

Are there any problems in her family side? Stiff she’s not telling yu? Does this happen every Ramadan... if there’s a time where she’s calm maybe make her tea and ask her why she does it then you have to defend yourself

People will say ‘you’re 18’ blah blah but I k is we can’t move out haha

hey, if your siblings go to school give them money and tell them go buy food for you

All you can do now is rest your head wake up before your mum does for sehri and take as much food into your room

Highly recommend talking to a nice aunt or uncle and telling them xx

no it doesn't but she has starved me a few times before. Whats most disturbing is she was on the phone rn to her sisters telling them about what she did and I think they just shrugged to her behaviour. no body cares.

my siblings won't help me and they don't care either. they see what she's doing is right. what triggered all of this was me not wanting to go to mosque. I did end up going anyways but she just uses every single chance or slip up to beat me down. I wasn't even the only one who didn't want to go but I got all the **** for it

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