The Student Room Group

Girlfriend and Prom

So I am a year older than my girlfriend and she has prom but due to the school I can't go with her which is fine so I told her to have a good time, but she tells me she is going to an after prom party which only has guys there I feel like **** because of it and i told her my opinion and how i felt yet she still persists on wanting to go...i dont know what to do anymore
Ofc she would want to go it’s something that her friends are going to go and she has her reasons to go. You’ve done the right thing telling her how you feel and now she knows how worried you are so trust her because she’ll have your worries in mind. Just distract yourself from thinking about it
Reply 2
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Anonymous #1
OP
i know but if it was the other way around with me and 5 girls she wouldnt let me go
Original post by PetitePanda
Ofc she would want to go it’s something that her friends are going to go and she has her reasons to go. You’ve done the right thing telling her how you feel and now she knows how worried you are so trust her because she’ll have your worries in mind. Just distract yourself from thinking about it
Original post by Anonymous
i know but if it was the other way around with me and 5 girls she wouldnt let me go


Is it just her and 5 guys???

If it’s only girls, then no I wouldn’t let my boyfriend go but if it’s with his friends, I would let her go it’s her life and if he did something that would hurt me then he wouldn’t be worth it so I decide to trust him, even though I constantly worry, so that he knows if he did something he’s lost my trust.
Reply 4
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Anonymous #1
OP
yeah it is her and just 5 guys like yeah they are friends but if i was in that position but with girls im not allowed to go but she can cause of whatever...i have been cheated on so i know what it feels like
Original post by PetitePanda
Is it just her and 5 guys???

If it’s only girls, then no I wouldn’t let my boyfriend go but if it’s with his friends, I would let her go it’s her life and if he did something that would hurt me then he wouldn’t be worth it so I decide to trust him, even though I constantly worry, so that he knows if he did something he’s lost my trust.
Original post by Anonymous
yeah it is her and just 5 guys like yeah they are friends but if i was in that position but with girls im not allowed to go but she can cause of whatever...i have been cheated on so i know what it feels like


I’m sorry but I would not do that to my boyfriend i would at least bring a girl along because that’s **** to my lad. I totally understand why you’re feeling this and I do understand that you’re more cautious due to your past experiences. ****ing hell your gf should understand that and try to not go or do something that would make you less worried instead of going with 5 lads like taking a few girls with her just in case. Damn I’m so sorry for assuming
Reply 6
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Anonymous #1
OP
it's fine i am not controlling or anything but it makes me feel like that. I wouldn't mind if she is with another girl and the same 5 guys as long as she gets back home safe is all i care most about but i just felt really uncomfortable that if i were in that same position she would threaten me to leave if i went to that but i cant do that to her.
Original post by PetitePanda
I’m sorry but I would not do that to my boyfriend i would at least bring a girl along because that’s **** to my lad. I totally understand why you’re feeling this and I do understand that you’re more cautious due to your past experiences. ****ing hell your gf should understand that and try to not go or do something that would make you less worried instead of going with 5 lads like taking a few girls with her just in case. Damn I’m so sorry for assuming
Original post by Anonymous
it's fine i am not controlling or anything but it makes me feel like that. I wouldn't mind if she is with another girl and the same 5 guys as long as she gets back home safe is all i care most about but i just felt really uncomfortable that if i were in that same position she would threaten me to leave if i went to that but i cant do that to her.


Oh I understand I hope she does then and you’re okay then
Reply 8
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Anonymous #1
OP
she still is persisting on going on her own i have asked if she could bring a friend and now is saying i am insecure :frown:
Original post by PetitePanda
Oh I understand I hope she does then and you’re okay then
A relationship where one partner feels the need or the right to tell the other partner who they can be friends with or where they can go is not a healthy one. It's a behaviour that is closer to abuse than love.

Clearly you've been harmed in the past but not trusting your current partner is to harm then in the present.

This is a hurdle which you need to address and overcome.
(edited 4 years ago)
I understand that that's why i dont mind her going i just told her how i felt i never said "you can't go out with this or that person because of X" i just told her that if i was in the same position but with some girls like before you threatened to leave me so i didnt go but yet you doing the same thing you can go but i coudlnt?
Original post by JTfoxlove
A relationship where one partner feels the need or the right to tell the other partner who they can be friends with or where they can go is not a healthy one. It's a behaviour that is closer to abuse than love.

Clearly you've been harmed in the past but not trusting your current partner is to harm then in the present.

This is a hurdle which you need to address and overcome.
Original post by Anonymous
she still is persisting on going on her own i have asked if she could bring a friend and now is saying i am insecure :frown:


Idk what you could expect trust her and believe that she won’t do anything idk I’m so sorry for not being able to help
Original post by Anonymous
I understand that that's why i dont mind her going i just told her how i felt i never said "you can't go out with this or that person because of X" i just told her that if i was in the same position but with some girls like before you threatened to leave me so i didnt go but yet you doing the same thing you can go but i coudlnt?

It sounds like you're both struggling with the same issue. Calm communication is the best approach, hopefully together you can be address this issue and the relationship will be a healthier and stronger one because of it.

:smile:

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