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Ex back Steps

I recently got broken up with by my girlfriend... she broke up with me just before exams and currently exams are still going on... hers end a few days after mine ... I’ve thought about it long and hard and done some proper “analysis”... and I think it is wise in my opinion for us to try again... Seeing as her exams end after mine, I was going to use that period to send her a hand written letter containing and apology for the relationship and things and then some things about my self followed by a request to talk why things failed between us (closure I guess) If she declines to meet up then I know I have to move up and forget her If she accepts then it’s either she wants closure or she’s thinking about trying again In that meeting I want to discuss things I’ve never been able to tell her and visa versa and make some apologies because I understand where I messed up ... In that meeting (if it happens) is that the time to ask her if she wants to try again? We haven’t talked too much recently but it have been getting better between us again ... the mood has gone from a bit hostile to friendly and calm ... Or is it too fast to ask her there and then? I don’t want to spend my summer before uni chasing her thinking it is possible for her to then say at the end that it never was ... that’s why I want to know early as possible I guess I don’t want comments trying to say it’s pointless trying to get back with her or it’s fruitless because uni is coming up ... I just want to know if I should ask her there and then or another time and/or if the plan sounds good enough to go with?Any advice is appreciated! I can give details of the events before/during/after the breakup if necessary
Even if there is only a slim chance she would agree to meet up. If you sit down to discover what went wrong then you are more likely to have another go at the relationship or remain friends. Just remember not to suggest any of it was her fault.
Original post by Unusual_Fox
I recently got broken up with by my girlfriend... she broke up with me just before exams and currently exams are still going on... hers end a few days after mine ... I’ve thought about it long and hard and done some proper “analysis”... and I think it is wise in my opinion for us to try again... Seeing as her exams end after mine, I was going to use that period to send her a hand written letter containing and apology for the relationship and things and then some things about my self followed by a request to talk why things failed between us (closure I guess) If she declines to meet up then I know I have to move up and forget her If she accepts then it’s either she wants closure or she’s thinking about trying again In that meeting I want to discuss things I’ve never been able to tell her and visa versa and make some apologies because I understand where I messed up ... In that meeting (if it happens) is that the time to ask her if she wants to try again? We haven’t talked too much recently but it have been getting better between us again ... the mood has gone from a bit hostile to friendly and calm ... Or is it too fast to ask her there and then? I don’t want to spend my summer before uni chasing her thinking it is possible for her to then say at the end that it never was ... that’s why I want to know early as possible I guess I don’t want comments trying to say it’s pointless trying to get back with her or it’s fruitless because uni is coming up ... I just want to know if I should ask her there and then or another time and/or if the plan sounds good enough to go with?Any advice is appreciated! I can give details of the events before/during/after the breakup if necessary
Reply 2
I understand you partially, like im not going to play the blame game or anything. But for example i want to tell her "I behaved like this X because she persistently did Y". I've never managed to tell her why some things i did were so, but reading your comment, to me this sounds a bit like blaming, but i have no idea how to tell her otherwise...
Who knows if she knows on her part what went wrong
Original post by newmanb14
Even if there is only a slim chance she would agree to meet up. If you sit down to discover what went wrong then you are more likely to have another go at the relationship or remain friends. Just remember not to suggest any of it was her fault.
Personally I think using exams as a reason is just an excuse
Reply 4
Yeah i've thought that too... no idea what the true reason is until i ask her i guess
Original post by Rock Fan
Personally I think using exams as a reason is just an excuse
give yourself some time and her some time. it'll give you a chance to look at the relationship objectively. That way you can see things you may have done wrong, but also things she did wrong. If you need to talk to her or have things to say i'm a firm believer in that you have every right to. But give yourself a bit of time to really come out of it and assess it objectively. In the meantime, cry and write down your feelings and get comfort from the people around you
Original post by Unusual_Fox
I recently got broken up with by my girlfriend... she broke up with me just before exams and currently exams are still going on... hers end a few days after mine ... I’ve thought about it long and hard and done some proper “analysis”... and I think it is wise in my opinion for us to try again... Seeing as her exams end after mine, I was going to use that period to send her a hand written letter containing and apology for the relationship and things and then some things about my self followed by a request to talk why things failed between us (closure I guess) If she declines to meet up then I know I have to move up and forget her If she accepts then it’s either she wants closure or she’s thinking about trying again In that meeting I want to discuss things I’ve never been able to tell her and visa versa and make some apologies because I understand where I messed up ... In that meeting (if it happens) is that the time to ask her if she wants to try again? We haven’t talked too much recently but it have been getting better between us again ... the mood has gone from a bit hostile to friendly and calm ... Or is it too fast to ask her there and then? I don’t want to spend my summer before uni chasing her thinking it is possible for her to then say at the end that it never was ... that’s why I want to know early as possible I guess I don’t want comments trying to say it’s pointless trying to get back with her or it’s fruitless because uni is coming up ... I just want to know if I should ask her there and then or another time and/or if the plan sounds good enough to go with?Any advice is appreciated! I can give details of the events before/during/after the breakup if necessary
my ex had a million ******** reasons for us to break up that i know aren't true and when i asked for an honest conversation he hid from it and would say we could then ignored me. Be careful, cowards will never give you closure and you may just have to live with it
Original post by Unusual_Fox
Yeah i've thought that too... no idea what the true reason is until i ask her i guess
Reply 7
It has been a while, coming up to almost 3 months ... I have looked over the relationship many times and do see where and when I went wrong and where she went wrong ... I do want to talk to her about it... but recently she’s started to ignore my messages I send ... and when I speak to her face to face (because we have exams and i see her after each exam) she makes any conversation awkward and never puts in the effort to talk to me ... she’s just becoming more distant even though only a week ago things seemed to Bebus getting better
Original post by Anonymous
give yourself some time and her some time. it'll give you a chance to look at the relationship objectively. That way you can see things you may have done wrong, but also things she did wrong. If you need to talk to her or have things to say i'm a firm believer in that you have every right to. But give yourself a bit of time to really come out of it and assess it objectively. In the meantime, cry and write down your feelings and get comfort from the people around you
Reply 8
I agree with you ... a coward is someone who doesn’t have the balls to tell you straight ... if she’s refuses to meeting up or tell me why then I’m just going to pull the plug ... going to be goodbye never hear from me again
Original post by Anonymous
my ex had a million ******** reasons for us to break up that i know aren't true and when i asked for an honest conversation he hid from it and would say we could then ignored me. Be careful, cowards will never give you closure and you may just have to live with it

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