Emotional Cheating

I think I'm emotionally cheating on my boyfriend. JUST CLARIFYING. I haven't actually cheated. I would never do that. I'm just being a distant girlfriend and getting crushes on other people...
I want to break up with him and I will as soon as I meet him in person. However, I can't do it for two weeks because we're on exam leave and then he's going on a trip. I don't want to make him come into the city just so I can break up with him, so what do I do until then.
Do I pretend to be invested in our relationship?
Do I tell him I need some space?
Do I continue to pretend everything is fine and just avoid talking to him on snapchat (emotional cheating)?
I just don't want to hurt him any more than I will by breaking up with him.
hellppp

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Original post by astroehoe

I think I'm emotionally cheating on my boyfriend. I want to break up with him and I will as soon as I meet him in person. However, I can't do it for two weeks because we're on exam leave and then he's going on a trip. I don't want to make him come into the city just so I can break up with him, so what do I do until then.
Do I pretend to be invested in our relationship?
Do I tell him I need some space?
Do I continue to pretend everything is fine and just avoid talking to him on snapchat (emotional cheating)?
I just don't want to hurt him any more than I will by breaking up with him.
hellppp

Why do you wanna break up with him?

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Find something to do. Study
Don’t chat to him until you come back. Idk

Reply 3

username4591444

21

Avoid him, wait as long as you can before replying to things and don’t do it with fake enthusiasm. It is more respectful to do in person so better to wait it out. Maybe it’ll ease him into it if he gets a sense that something is not right over the 2 weeks instead of being shocked.

Original post by astroehoe

I think I'm emotionally cheating on my boyfriend. I want to break up with him and I will as soon as I meet him in person. However, I can't do it for two weeks because we're on exam leave and then he's going on a trip. I don't want to make him come into the city just so I can break up with him, so what do I do until then.
Do I pretend to be invested in our relationship?
Do I tell him I need some space?
Do I continue to pretend everything is fine and just avoid talking to him on snapchat (emotional cheating)?
I just don't want to hurt him any more than I will by breaking up with him.
hellppp

Reply 4

astroehoe

OP

12

It's just not working. He's attractive, a nice person and hasn't done anything wrong.
I just don't like him. At all. I have no romantic feelings for him.

Reply 5

username4474676

17

Just be straight up. Don’t sugar coat it, it makes things worse. Just text him/ call him idek id say do it in person but that’s a while away. Just tell him how you honestly feel and that’s it. Put an end to your suffering and his false hope. Ghosting someone is the worse way to do it and he’s prob gonna feel like he did something wrong, just tell him you’re not attracted to him anymore and if you wanna lie just say you aren’t ready to be in a relationship anymore and just need to focus on yourself so don’t wait up.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by astroehoe

I think I'm emotionally cheating on my boyfriend. I want to break up with him and I will as soon as I meet him in person. However, I can't do it for two weeks because we're on exam leave and then he's going on a trip. I don't want to make him come into the city just so I can break up with him, so what do I do until then.
Do I pretend to be invested in our relationship?
Do I tell him I need some space?
Do I continue to pretend everything is fine and just avoid talking to him on snapchat (emotional cheating)?
I just don't want to hurt him any more than I will by breaking up with him.
hellppp

I think it sucks tbh, you’ll make him feel like ****, because the problems are from your end not his. He hasn’t done anything, he’s been loyal and invested in the relationship,
Unfortunately he is still at the biggest loss in this relationship, because he opened up to you and gave you his heart which your about to crush. Thats the only difference- sorry to say this, actually not sorry, but you dont deserve him, and your responsible for how *****y he will feel and every impact that will have on him after that breakup. He gave you trust, love, time, passion and kindness and you abused it all. You may not realise it now, but theres this funny thing called karma and one day you will realise that you missed out big, because no one can love you more that someone who stuck with you through thick and thin, and you let them down and made them feel **** each time. I really hope you see this because its meant for you and for everyone who has done this.

Have a good one ✌🏻

Reply 7

Scotney

20

Just be vaguely busy. Once he is on the trip it will be easier. Just keep messages short and sweet. I would not hint there is anything wrong as it will just mess with his head for exams and spoil trip. It is not emotionally cheating it is being kind. Then just tell him face to face.

Original post by astroehoe

It's just not working. He's attractive, a nice person and hasn't done anything wrong.
I just don't like him. At all. I have no romantic feelings for him.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 8

astroehoe

OP

12

So what are you saying? I'm meant to force myself to make it work and thus be unhappy. I'm not a bad person and I don't want to hurt him. Loads of relationshis don't work because of a lack of feelings. I also invested in the relationship. I've been loyal, sweet, caring and ready to talk. I've told him personal stuff as well. He doesn't love me it has only been 1 month and a week since we started dating. I won't sit here and be called a bad person or an abuser. It's not my fault that I don't like him. And what have I done exactly? I haven't cheated on him or romantically talked to anyone else. Emotionally, I've been distant but that's about it.

Reply 9

UWS

21

I don't think this is emotional cheating. Though there is the potential for it to lead to it when you find someone.

You have 3 options

A) Cheat
B) Break up with him now
C) Suggest an open relationship

You and I both know that B is the best option. No brainer, right? The longer you leave things, the more it will hurt him. Trying to keep things going is a bit like trying to water a dead plant, pretty pointless when the relationship is essentially already over.

Good meme

Original post by astroehoe

I think I'm emotionally cheating on my boyfriend. JUST CLARIFYING. I haven't actually cheated. I would never do that. I'm just being a distant girlfriend and getting crushes on other people...
I want to break up with him and I will as soon as I meet him in person. However, I can't do it for two weeks because we're on exam leave and then he's going on a trip. I don't want to make him come into the city just so I can break up with him, so what do I do until then.
Do I pretend to be invested in our relationship?
Do I tell him I need some space?
Do I continue to pretend everything is fine and just avoid talking to him on snapchat (emotional cheating)?
I just don't want to hurt him any more than I will by breaking up with him.
hellppp

The real question is, why did you enter a relationship with someone you didn't have feelings for?

Reply 12

astroehoe

OP

12

I am going to break up with him. I was asking how and when?

Original post by UWS

I don't think this is emotional cheating. Though there is the potential for it to lead to it when you find someone.

You have 3 options

A) Cheat
B) Break up with him now
C) Suggest an open relationship

You and I both know that B is the best option. No brainer, right? The longer you leave things, the more it will hurt him. Trying to keep things going is a bit like trying to water a dead plant, pretty pointless when the relationship is essentially already over.

Reply 13

astroehoe

OP

12

He was my first boyfriend. I don’t have much experience with this stuff. I’m 16 (Ik I’m quite old and most people have had a few bfs by this time). I used to like him a lottttt and I liked him at the start. Somewhere along the way I stopped...

Original post by Kill3rCat

The real question is, why did you enter a relationship with someone you didn't have feelings for?

Reply 14

Kill3rCat

12

Original post by astroehoe

He was my first boyfriend. I don’t have much experience with this stuff. I’m 16 (Ik I’m quite old and most people have had a few bfs by this time). I used to like him a lottttt and I liked him at the start. Somewhere along the way I stopped...

Fair enough. Sounds like it was a relationship for the sake of a relationship, and not because there was any real chemistry there. Ah, well. Do correct me if I am wrong.

Reply 15

astroehoe

OP

12

There was chemistry and attraction but there isn’t anymore...

Original post by Kill3rCat

Fair enough. Sounds like it was a relationship for the sake of a relationship, and not because there was any real chemistry there. Ah, well. Do correct me if I am wrong.