The Student Room Group

Private accommodation and I'm shaking (2nd year)

So: I'm gonna try and keep this as short as I can but I'm kinda worried about it so don't come for me if I go on.

I'm moving into private Unite accommodation and I will literally know no one. I actually got on really well with my last flat, and like they'll be in the city so I'm not totally, absolutely on my own, but they all had their flats already sorted when I switched (I moved across at like the end of first semester, and part of the reason I'm so worried is bc my first flat was terrible. Literally no one spoke to each other - it was that bad), so I'm kind of rinsing and repeating this year.

Here are basically the things I'm worried about:

1) People will think I'm weird bc I ain't living with anybody I know, or they'll think I like did something to my old flatmates or something. A corollary of this is that I might get a group of people who all already know each other which would be rough.

2) I am so not being racist here, but I feel like this is a major problem in private uni accommodation - I don't want a flat of literally only Chinese people. They all speak Chinese to each other and act like you're not there. I speak two languages beside English, so it's really not a xenophobic thing, but I went to a guy's flat last year and they were all Chinese and I could tell he was super depressed about it.

3) Homophobes. I never knew a single one at school, but bizarrely at uni of all places I've met a few (I straight pass and keep it on the DL in strange company so it wasn't a big deal then, but like, I couldn't live with those people). Obviously if anybody did anything serious I would just report it, but I would find it really hard living in a flat where someone objectively didn't want me to be there, and I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable bringing boys back either.

4) It's like max 6 people in a flat in my accommodation I think, so it's already pretty small, but I'm worried that on top of that I'm gonna get a bunch of people who maybe already have their own friends or are just straight up misanthropes. I know it's still early in a way, but most people have probably already booked for second year and I was the only one in the chat on the Unite app. If I learnt two things from fresher's, it was just how bad being in a bad flat can be for your mental health et al, and also how important being in summer group chats is (I knew a boy who literally already had a group ready of like 3 girls from his town on the first night). Almost as bad as being in a flat full of people who don't want to speak your language is being in a flat of people who just don't want to speak to you full stop.

I know I sound neurotic, but I just kind of want to get it out there. Hit me with your tips if you have them.
Reply 1
Are you physically shaking or is it purely metaphorical for dramatic effect?
Original post by Rmcewan15
So: I'm gonna try and keep this as short as I can but I'm kinda worried about it so don't come for me if I go on.

I'm moving into private Unite accommodation and I will literally know no one. I actually got on really well with my last flat, and like they'll be in the city so I'm not totally, absolutely on my own, but they all had their flats already sorted when I switched (I moved across at like the end of first semester, and part of the reason I'm so worried is bc my first flat was terrible. Literally no one spoke to each other - it was that bad), so I'm kind of rinsing and repeating this year.

Here are basically the things I'm worried about:

1) People will think I'm weird bc I ain't living with anybody I know, or they'll think I like did something to my old flatmates or something. A corollary of this is that I might get a group of people who all already know each other which would be rough.

2) I am so not being racist here, but I feel like this is a major problem in private uni accommodation - I don't want a flat of literally only Chinese people. They all speak Chinese to each other and act like you're not there. I speak two languages beside English, so it's really not a xenophobic thing, but I went to a guy's flat last year and they were all Chinese and I could tell he was super depressed about it.

3) Homophobes. I never knew a single one at school, but bizarrely at uni of all places I've met a few (I straight pass and keep it on the DL in strange company so it wasn't a big deal then, but like, I couldn't live with those people). Obviously if anybody did anything serious I would just report it, but I would find it really hard living in a flat where someone objectively didn't want me to be there, and I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable bringing boys back either.

4) It's like max 6 people in a flat in my accommodation I think, so it's already pretty small, but I'm worried that on top of that I'm gonna get a bunch of people who maybe already have their own friends or are just straight up misanthropes. I know it's still early in a way, but most people have probably already booked for second year and I was the only one in the chat on the Unite app. If I learnt two things from fresher's, it was just how bad being in a bad flat can be for your mental health et al, and also how important being in summer group chats is (I knew a boy who literally already had a group ready of like 3 girls from his town on the first night). Almost as bad as being in a flat full of people who don't want to speak your language is being in a flat of people who just don't want to speak to you full stop.

I know I sound neurotic, but I just kind of want to get it out there. Hit me with your tips if you have them.
Reply 2
I feel like that’s a normal thing to say tbh
Original post by qb2507
Are you physically shaking or is it purely metaphorical for dramatic effect?
Reply 3
oh yeah good point :/
Original post by Rmcewan15
I feel like that’s a normal thing to say tbh
Honestly don’t worry about it for now. I am also a second year student who is going into accommodation with no-one I know( bc all my previous flatmates were all 3rd year) and I’m actually excited to meet new people. I was actually in a flat with all Chinese people last year(although I am also Chinese all my flatmates spoke a different Chinese language) so it was kinda difficult to communicate but we just spoke English(Theirs wasn’t very good but understandable) I still had a great time. You shouldn’t worry about what other people think of you because they know nothing about you anyway. So what if you scared your old flatmates off no one will know :wink: Anyway what I’m tryna say is don’t stress over whether you’re able to get along with new people just be friendly and approachable by asking them about themselves and be willing to join in with outings and stuff and you’ll be fine. Best of luck!

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