Deep down I know I would like to be with a female.:( Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I'm Muslim. I'm not attracted to men. I'm putting my family first they want me to find a man and start a relationship.
For the sake of my religion I am trying so hard to conceal my feelings.
But deep down i know i would like to spend the future with a female.
I cannot imagine myself with a man. If I cannot imagine myself being happy with a man, how will it work out in the future?

My teacher who is gay told me to do what makes me happy but it's not that easy for me, she wasn't religious but I am!

My religion is extremely important to me!!

It is so so hard!!!
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Amziedragon
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#2
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I don't come from a Muslim background and don't know what your family are like and i am heterosexual, however i do know that being homosexual is something you cannot change, it's how you are and there is nothing wrong with that. I would like to hope that your family love you for who you are, married to a man or to a woman. In my eyes it wouldn't be right for you to long for something your whole life and never have the chance because of tradition. It is up to you though, personally i think it would be better to tell your family the truth because living with a secret like that will only make your life harder. It is 2019 and homosexuality is widely accepted as I'm sure you know but unfortunately some people may never accept that some people are different. I hope that you can have the courage to be honest and that your family are decent enough to listen, best of luck with whatever you decide to do
Last edited by Amziedragon; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #2
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As a Muslim women I feel that you should find a man of your choice but consider them as a friend and as your marriage progresses love will develop in the relationship.

May I ask do you pray?

Also please don’t consider this as me being rude or anything, but I think that you should stop taking advice from your teacher.
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Anonymous #1
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I'm trying. And no I do not seek advice from her anymore, I decided it's not fair to bother her with my problems so I don't speak to her anymore
(Original post by Anonymous)
As a Muslim women I feel that you should find a man of your choice but consider them as a friend and as your marriage progresses love will develop in the relationship.

May I ask do you pray?

Also please don’t consider this as me being rude or anything, but I think that you should stop taking advice from your gay teacher.
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andreiartur
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It's impossible to conceal your feelings like that forever and that way you will never be truly happy. Although I'm not Muslim (someone who is and is also LGBTQ+ would probably be able to advise you in more detail and I hope someone like that will find your post) nor do I know you or your family, perhaps your family will understand you with time. The natural first step before anything is opening up to them about it if you believe it's safe to do so. They are probably not going to be accepting at first, but give them a lot of time and they might, because they most probably love you and want you to be happy. And if they don't, then it's your choice, because I understand you want to put your family first, but keep in mind that your family should put you first as well.
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Anonymous #1
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I understand where you are coming from
Yes its 2019 and homosexuality is becoming more widely acceptable however, yes times can change but religion doesn't change does it.
If people are very faithful then regardless as to whether times are changing their beliefs won't change.
Even if I am honest with my parents its highly unlikely theyll understand and I'd end up with a man anyways.
(Original post by Amziedragon)
I don't come from a Muslim background and don't know what your family are like and i am heterosexual, however i do know that being homosexual is something you cannot change, it's how you are and there is nothing wrong with that. I would like to hope that your family love you for who you are, married to a man or to a woman. In my eyes it wouldn't be right for you to long for something your whole life and never have the chance because of tradition. It is up to you though, personally i think it would be better to tell your family the truth because living with a secret like that will only make your life harder. It is 2019 and homosexuality is widely accepted as I'm sure you know but unfortunately some people may never accept that some people are different. I hope that you can have the courage to be honest and that your family are decent enough to listen, best of luck with whatever you decide to do
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Anonymous #1
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This has made me cry! Thank you so much.
And I have told my mother that I'm not interested in marriage and all that. But I haven't dared to say that I'm gay. Sometimes she does ask me if I'm lesbian and stares at me as she does but I deny it and say no I'm not.
If I say yes, I'm going against my religion and I cannot do that.
I just pray that I can just stay single. I have faith in God and I'm sure He will help me to get out of this situation

Thank you
(Original post by andreiartur)
It's impossible to conceal your feelings like that forever and that way you will never be truly happy. Although I'm not Muslim (someone who is and is also LGBTQ+ would probably be able to advise you in more detail and I hope someone like that will find your post) nor do I know you or your family, perhaps your family will understand you with time. The natural first step before anything is opening up to them about it if you believe it's safe to do so. They are probably not going to be accepting at first, but give them a lot of time and they might, because they most probably love you and want you to be happy. And if they don't, then it's your choice, because I understand you want to put your family first, but keep in mind that your family should put you first as well.
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karl pilkington
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#8
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#8
are you a female maybe just get a lesbian girlfriend but don't tell anyone
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Tootles
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm Muslim. I'm not attracted to men. I'm putting my family first they want me to find a man and start a relationship.
For the sake of my religion I am trying so hard to conceal my feelings.
But deep down i know i would like to spend the future with a female.
I cannot imagine myself with a man. If I cannot imagine myself being happy with a man, how will it work out in the future?

My teacher who is gay told me to do what makes me happy but it's not that easy for me, she wasn't religious but I am!

My religion is extremely important to me!!

It is so so hard!!!
There's nothing hard about it. You should just ignore your feelings for women, marry a man, and have children with him. Your god doesn't want you to be happy and isn't interested in your mental wellbeing, so if you love him you should disregard any such hopes.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm Muslim. I'm not attracted to men. I'm putting my family first they want me to find a man and start a relationship.
For the sake of my religion I am trying so hard to conceal my feelings.
But deep down i know i would like to spend the future with a female.
I cannot imagine myself with a man. If I cannot imagine myself being happy with a man, how will it work out in the future?

My teacher who is gay told me to do what makes me happy but it's not that easy for me, she wasn't religious but I am!

My religion is extremely important to me!!

It is so so hard!!!
You have to fear Allah. Make Dua to Allah and ask him for Guidance. No one here is going to help you. And remember to choose Deen over this Dunya. Inshallah may you fight this and may Allah reward you the highest level of Jannah for passing this hard test. Good luck sister
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claireestelle
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm Muslim. I'm not attracted to men. I'm putting my family first they want me to find a man and start a relationship.
For the sake of my religion I am trying so hard to conceal my feelings.
But deep down i know i would like to spend the future with a female.
I cannot imagine myself with a man. If I cannot imagine myself being happy with a man, how will it work out in the future?

My teacher who is gay told me to do what makes me happy but it's not that easy for me, she wasn't religious but I am!

My religion is extremely important to me!!

It is so so hard!!!
It's your life, you don't want to be regretting it later in life that you couldn't be happy because of your family. It wouldn't be fair on a man who would be expecting a romantic relationship/ to have a family and then you can't give him that and your family will then know if you split up
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CoolCavy
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#12
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with being homosexual and you shouldnt feel ashamed of it :hugs:
If you absolutely have to and it is your last resort then look into marriages of convenience (a marriage to a gay man which is a societal cover up). Obviously is not ideal but is better than marrying a man who thinks you are straight.
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delhibelly
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm Muslim. I'm not attracted to men. I'm putting my family first they want me to find a man and start a relationship.
For the sake of my religion I am trying so hard to conceal my feelings.
But deep down i know i would like to spend the future with a female.
I cannot imagine myself with a man. If I cannot imagine myself being happy with a man, how will it work out in the future?

My teacher who is gay told me to do what makes me happy but it's not that easy for me, she wasn't religious but I am!

My religion is extremely important to me!!

It is so so hard!!!
Dear anonymous
When u say ur going against ur religion that doesn’t mean you r going against god. And if u believe in god then u must believe that u being a lesbian is his will and he wanted you what you are for a good reason so chill out and tell ur mom . I knw it’s hard and I know the consequences can be severe but by the end on it it’s ur life and u hardly have mere 80 years on this planet so spend this little time wisely and u never know what might happen
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Amziedragon
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#14
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No, of course it doesn't, as i say i don't know how strictly religious your family are, but is living a lie really worth it? As i say it is your choice, as the previous post said, perhaps in time they will come around. After all they raised you. A relative of mine actually married a woman from a sikh family after she escaped an abusive arranged marriage. It's hard for her because her family shunned her and called her scum, but she is welcome in our family and she still visits hers. It seems as though they are slowly coming around, especially her mother because they love and miss her. At the end of the day it's your life
(Original post by Anonymous)
I understand where you are coming from
Yes its 2019 and homosexuality is becoming more widely acceptable however, yes times can change but religion doesn't change does it.
If people are very faithful then regardless as to whether times are changing their beliefs won't change.
Even if I am honest with my parents its highly unlikely theyll understand and I'd end up with a man anyways.
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Anonymous #2
#15
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I suppose that you should just live a single life
(Original post by Anonymous)
This has made me cry! Thank you so much.
And I have told my mother that I'm not interested in marriage and all that. But I haven't dared to say that I'm gay. Sometimes she does ask me if I'm lesbian and stares at me as she does but I deny it and say no I'm not.
If I say yes, I'm going against my religion and I cannot do that.
I just pray that I can just stay single. I have faith in God and I'm sure He will help me to get out of this situation

Thank you
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Anonymous #3
#16
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(Original post by bobzzzzzz)
Dear anonymous
it it’s ur life and u hardly have mere 80 years on this planet so spend this little time wisely and u never know what might happen
Not true. This person could die tomorrow
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SmileyfriendlyXD
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#17
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Why follow a religion when it stops you from being happy? It's 2019
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-Quava-
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#18
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Hence why you made a thread asking whether you should give her your number.
She's got a family, leave her alone.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm trying. And no I do not seek advice from her anymore, I decided it's not fair to bother her with my problems so I don't speak to her anymore
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Izzythestudent
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#19
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So
Personally I am not religious but
God loves everyone, and god made you, you. You were born gay and you should live your life how you want to. If you know you can never be happy in an arranged marriage, especially with a guy, then you should not do it. Life is going to throw you many hurdles, and it’s your choice to overcome them. If you do not try to overcome them, in this case, by living as a gay woman, then you will not be happy, and will end up living the rest of your life in falsehood. Be true to yourself. Your family should love you no matter what. And if they don’t, find somebody else who will.
You deserve to spend your life with somebody who makes you happy, and if that means being with a woman, so be it.
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Anonymous #4
#20
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all this happy nonsense is irrelevant, even if Allah turned you into a gay it doesn't prevent you from being a pious Muslim, just know what a sin is and stay away from those sins, being more inclined towards women is not in and of itself a sin, just don't entertain those thoughts and don't commit any sinful actions and you're fine
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