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Should I do this or not...

My..ex is leaving for training for the army into 2 months. We were long distance but were really close we still are...but anyway, I said I would do anything to see him again. (we met twice when we were dating, the second time was the best day of my life..first kiss eee) anyway! I know I should just move on from him as the breakup was pretty well sh** but we still talk as really close friends.

So. Should I do this=

He gets a week off in training (takes 11 months) He said he would be visiting his family, staying up late with them and going out with his mates for some of the days (so that week is pretty full... I think) I was thinking I could surprise him/or ask him about coming down one of the days with my best friend. Idk how he would react tbh, I know his sister were close, she's so so kind to me! It's unbelievable. So the surprise could work with her! omg. This might work. If she agrees and we both set a day for me coming down and I surprise him. It could work OR should I ask him anyway and see what he says?

Or is this a bit too...much for my ex? He lives around 300 miles and I just want to see him one last time before he goes into the army. Is that so much to ask :frown:

What do you think I should do?

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Reply 1
That is very confusing. You want to see your ex before he joins up, but talking about visiting during 1 week off in training?

Actually, that's not correct anyway. Depending on how old he is and where he's training, the first few weeks are very intense and communications strictly limited, but then it starts to relax, there are weekends off and he will have use of laptop, iPad etc.

Dors your ex know your best friend well enough to have her around or will she play third wheel? And he will have a lot to sort out with packing as well as saying goodbye to people, so I would at least check with his sister; however, make sure she is clear on his plans rather than just turn up if she says "I think he's around."
tldr DO IT HAVE NO REGRETS U GOT THIS
Reply 3
Yeah...it is confusing. Yeah, I brought my best friend to our very first meet up and it went really well he's chill with me bringing friends so that's fine. Yeah see that's the problem he'll be busy like really busy with his family so he might say "come on you know I'm dead busy" it's putting me off slightly.

Idk what to do...also he's 16 turning 17 in a couple of months.

Help :frown:
Original post by Surnia
That is very confusing. You want to see your ex before he joins up, but talking about visiting during 1 week off in training?

Actually, that's not correct anyway. Depending on how old he is and where he's training, the first few weeks are very intense and communications strictly limited, but then it starts to relax, there are weekends off and he will have use of laptop, iPad etc.

Dors your ex know your best friend well enough to have her around or will she play third wheel? And he will have a lot to sort out with packing as well as saying goodbye to people, so I would at least check with his sister; however, make sure she is clear on his plans rather than just turn up if she says "I think he's around."
Reply 4
Hahahaha meee!!! thank you!!!! :smile:
Original post by UrWelcome
tldr DO IT HAVE NO REGRETS U GOT THIS
no ^_^
Original post by Anonymous
Hahahaha meee!!! thank you!!!! :smile:
Reply 6
No? haha
Original post by UrWelcome
no ^_^
oh wow just reread what i typed lool; i meant to say np ^_^ xD
Original post by Anonymous
No? haha
(edited 4 years ago)
Honestly if hes your ex it’s probably,,, not the best idea? One because, he should be your ex for a reason, right? And also thats just gonna prolong it for both of you which just feels *****y in the end
Reply 9
Yeah, I see your point completely, it's just a bit odd. He thought I was coming down this summer and I was like hmm no next year and he said that wouldn't work cause of Harrogate, he seemed fine with me coming this summer?

My head is pulled into two directions...
Original post by Wallflower.
Honestly if hes your ex it’s probably,,, not the best idea? One because, he should be your ex for a reason, right? And also thats just gonna prolong it for both of you which just feels *****y in the end
oh right hahaha no no it's okay :smile:
Original post by UrWelcome
oh wow just reread what i typed lool; i meant to say np ^_^ xD
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
My..ex is leaving for training for the army into 2 months. We were long distance but were really close we still are...but anyway, I said I would do anything to see him again. (we met twice when we were dating, the second time was the best day of my life..first kiss eee) anyway! I know I should just move on from him as the breakup was pretty well sh** but we still talk as really close friends.

So. Should I do this=

He gets a week off in training (takes 11 months) He said he would be visiting his family, staying up late with them and going out with his mates for some of the days (so that week is pretty full... I think) I was thinking I could surprise him/or ask him about coming down one of the days with my best friend. Idk how he would react tbh, I know his sister were close, she's so so kind to me! It's unbelievable. So the surprise could work with her! omg. This might work. If she agrees and we both set a day for me coming down and I surprise him. It could work OR should I ask him anyway and see what he says?

Or is this a bit too...much for my ex? He lives around 300 miles and I just want to see him one last time before he goes into the army. Is that so much to ask :frown:

What do you think I should do?


See him again. Get him on his own. Thank him snd snog him properly! And stay friends with his lovely sister!
What’s the worse that could possibly happen?
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah...it is confusing. Yeah, I brought my best friend to our very first meet up and it went really well he's chill with me bringing friends so that's fine. Yeah see that's the problem he'll be busy like really busy with his family so he might say "come on you know I'm dead busy" it's putting me off slightly.

Idk what to do...also he's 16 turning 17 in a couple of months.

Help :frown:

At that age, he'll be going to the Army College at Harrogate. As I said, he'll be busy packing all the kit needed, plus sorting out lots of personal paperwork to take and maybe doing some last minute shopping to make sure he's got everything.

If it's a 300 mile trip, it's not like you can just pop over for a quick visit; if I was travelling that far I'd be wanting to stop overnight somewhere, so what were your plans? If you go, only go if absolutely sure you won't be in his way during a very stressful time.

Otherwise, he'll get 8 weeks off over the 11 months when you could see him (if he says otherwise, is he really interested in keeping in touch?), and you'll be able to text/message outside of working hours, though comms are limited for the first 6 weeks You could even ask for the address and write to him.
Original post by Surnia
At that age, he'll be going to the Army College at Harrogate. As I said, he'll be busy packing all the kit needed, plus sorting out lots of personal paperwork to take and maybe doing some last minute shopping to make sure he's got everything.

If it's a 300 mile trip, it's not like you can just pop over for a quick visit; if I was travelling that far I'd be wanting to stop overnight somewhere, so what were your plans? If you go, only go if absolutely sure you won't be in his way during a very stressful time.

Otherwise, he'll get 8 weeks off over the 11 months when you could see him (if he says otherwise, is he really interested in keeping in touch?), and you'll be able to text/message outside of working hours, though comms are limited for the first 6 weeks You could even ask for the address and write to him.


That’s an amazing idea...OP, you could definitely write to him (if he’s okay with it lol)
Yeah I get that...I was thinking of staying overnight yeah. I was going to tell him before i was going to go...it's very very 2 sided.
Ahhhhhhh
Original post by Surnia
At that age, he'll be going to the Army College at Harrogate. As I said, he'll be busy packing all the kit needed, plus sorting out lots of personal paperwork to take and maybe doing some last minute shopping to make sure he's got everything.

If it's a 300 mile trip, it's not like you can just pop over for a quick visit; if I was travelling that far I'd be wanting to stop overnight somewhere, so what were your plans? If you go, only go if absolutely sure you won't be in his way during a very stressful time.

Otherwise, he'll get 8 weeks off over the 11 months when you could see him (if he says otherwise, is he really interested in keeping in touch?), and you'll be able to text/message outside of working hours, though comms are limited for the first 6 weeks You could even ask for the address and write to him.
He'll say no. ahahhaha
He'll say he doesn't want to meet me again
He'll say I can't come down
Oh I'm an overthinking person :wink:
Original post by nabilahhh
What’s the worse that could possibly happen?
Definitely will stay friends with his sister! I was going to ask for her help actually :smile:
Snog him properly oof I would love that...but were broken up soooo
I was going to bring my friend but she said idk
Original post by mgi
See him again. Get him on his own. Thank him snd snog him properly! And stay friends with his lovely sister!
How does this sound

"Right okay. Idk how you'll take this, but I'm prepared for the worse I really am...I'll just say it. You know how you're getting a week off in Harrogate, I was thinking of...coming down one of the days I mean as I said I was thinking of coming down anyway. Eek, Idk if you would like that or even if you're too busy that week or weekends or whatever. I want to see you one last time. I would do anything to see you again but hey prepared for the worse in asking this cause I know and understand your super super busy, just an idea that's all. Sorry!!!"

That was the message I was going to send him...???
This is not a good message at all. You are far too apologetic and basically shutting yourself down. Instead say "I was wondering if you wanted me to come down for one of the days for the week you get off in Harrogate. If ur busy then thats that but thought Id let you know about this... up to you g"
Original post by Anonymous
How does this sound

"Right okay. Idk how you'll take this, but I'm prepared for the worse I really am...I'll just say it. You know how you're getting a week off in Harrogate, I was thinking of...coming down one of the days I mean as I said I was thinking of coming down anyway. Eek, Idk if you would like that or even if you're too busy that week or weekends or whatever. I want to see you one last time. I would do anything to see you again but hey prepared for the worse in asking this cause I know and understand your super super busy, just an idea that's all. Sorry!!!"

That was the message I was going to send him...???

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