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killua writes a ****ing blog

alternative title: letters to my soul

but i decided that'd be wet

i dunno if this is going to stay updated but maybe it'll be nice to have a place to write **** down and look back on :dontknow:

welcome to my special hell :bubbles:

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not to be evil on my first post but i feel like karma's on my side for the next few weeks or so. huehuehuehue

speaking of karma, i need to stop trying to do her work for her :pika:
lies down on the floor

so i'm talking about relationships and this friend i have today.

ok so, i'm a mega tsundere so whenever people are talking about their relationships in front of me, i cringe. it's made me fall out with people before cos apparently you lack common courtesy if you express discomfort when someone is being uncomfortable talking about their relationship. maybe i am a douchebag but man. i really don't like hearing about cuddling and all that other stuff. it's not so bad - not bad at all, actually - if the couple has banter and that's what we're talking about, but i just can't stand hearing about lovey-dovey stuff.

so this friend i have. she started (long distance) dating again recently, after having left a (also long distance) relationship about a month ago. except, she's 22 and her girlfriend is 17. also, they met about two/three weeks ago, and are already saying their i love yous. i decided against meddling and tried not to, but man, it's not cute. i guess the drama that ensued was my fault. i wasn't tactful. i don't know where the line between being a good friend that isn't a yes man and being a douchebag is. i knew it was an issue i had for a while, and i'm still working on it. my apologies were genuine but man i'm a little salty. the situation escalated before i could even get into why i was uncomfortable so everyone was mad at me for something i wasn't even trying to get at.

i have a feeling their relationship is doomed because they both seem really immature and... all heart and no mind. the type of people to make impossible promises ("i'll always be with you") and then be disappointed when the other person eventually stumbles,,

anyway have this video of killua calling you stupid for three and a half minutes :innocent:
tatsumaki from one punch man is so cool h

i'm finally making a start on this accommodation application. it's not first come first serve, so i procrastinated this long huehuehue the deadline is the 31st of this month OMEGALUL

i could get it done this evening. if there's tons to read and fill out, or if i put it off some more, then maybe tomorrow. shouldn't take longer than that. i kept procrastinating because i think i missed my offer anyway so thinking about the accommodation application made me worry. so i put it off

mentioning that makes me worry about it now :dontknow:
ok did the accommodation application but i kinda just don't wanna go to uni now
>says it's not first come first served in the email as long as you apply before july 31st
>says it's first come first served on the application form



the accommodation takes up more of my maintenance loan than i expected... i'd be left with roooooughly £1000 when all is said and done, for either of the catered/self catered options i applied for, and i don't have much of a sense of finance so i have no idea if that's a good amount to be left over with for everything else i'll need over the year.

i've been losing interest in my course gradually since the start of year 13 and i don't know what i'd switch to so that doesn't help me stop feeling so crappy about uni all of a sudden.

i looked forward to uni for years, i looked at it as an escape from my crappy life but now i feel like i was naive in thinking that it was that easy. h

man. i put it off for so long cos i knew this kind of chaos was awaiting me. welp. i did what i was supposed to do so far, i'll worry about everything else later. in the unlikely event i meet my offer, i'm fairly certain i'm going to try and take a gap year on results day anyway

i've never felt like more of a child, and this is the one time i'm trying to be responsible. deadass. i want my mum
blessed content
persona 5 seems like a fun game but i really don't like almost all of the characters except a handful (protagonist, ryuji, morgana, mAYBE makoto and her sister, the doctor woman (ish), sojiro (ish) and the guy that sells guns)

ann is a number of cliches sewn together and the relationship between her and the protagonist is written awfully:

Spoiler


why is sis the ONLY girl in school to wear her skirt at a different length too lul even makoto wears it at the same length as other npc girls iirc. can you say "my only real purpose as a character is to be the canon love interest and i don't stand out so the devs went a bit ham on my design and personality" any louder. this is usually why i think side girl characters (lavenza and her twin forms) or villainous girl characters (azula from atla) are generally cooler - writers seem to think being the love interest is already a substantial amount of character depth so they don't really do anything with them, and every other girl gets a ton of story written around them


:dontknow:
sits down on the floor

i have a voice/appearance/personality mismatch. feelsbadman
i looooove killua, but he isn't actually my fave from hxh, it's kurapika. my username should've been kurapika. with this as the icon
mob psycho 100 is a lighthearted, comedy-ish anime with art that's supposed to look lazy and lame, but i think it delivers a really powerful message about self improvement and trying to be as kind as you can be. it shows that it's not always easy to do better every day, but the protagonist doesn't stop trying. he fails sometimes, but he does his best all the time. when he screws up, he tries to fix it to the best of his ability. the faith people around him have in him is also really heartwarming, like they see his effort in everything he does and want to help him with what he strives for. they keep him in check too.

it's really great, i love that show. made me self reflect too,, his level of empathy and optimism is scary to someone with the kind of pride i have. there's one scene in particular where he doesn't see betrayal where i did. if he did feel betrayed, he sure as hell didn't show it. i don't have a good track record thus far but, i'd like to be someone that makes people feel happy too. just not at the expense of myself or stuff i feel strongly about :snoozing:
Original post by killua.
just not at the expense of myself or stuff i feel strongly about :snoozing:


i'll stay petty and vindictive in the name of this, ***** can't help being a scorpio

and. i'm not sure if you can fight ALL types of ugly with just straight up kindness. i guess the writer did consider that too - there are times shigeo goes unapologetically apeshit iirc. but yeah the world can do with more effort in self-reflection and improvement
some more blessed content


man ash has that Lovable Dumb ***** energy and it's so good h. he's my son
got shampoo in my eyes earlier and it felt like i was going blind smfh
Original post by killua.
got shampoo in my eyes earlier and it felt like i was going blind smfh


at least they didn't stay red or feel irritated when i came out the shower though. i can't feel too refreshed despite the fresh clothes, freshly washed hair, semi fresh bedsheets when there's a corner of my room still fully consumed by piles of ringbinders, books and loose sheets. it's taken over my desk and chair to the extent that i game in my bro's room and take up half his desk. the floor in the same corner is spilling over in the same way, with school stuff all over the place

been on summer break for like, a month and a half now and i've yet to do any clearing up :pika: press f for respects. i dunno what to do with it or where to start. i also just,, don't wanna look at the **** written in those binders ever again

the exact same thing happened back during gcse summer hhhh
Original post by killua.
>says it's not first come first served in the email as long as you apply before july 31st
>says it's first come first served on the application form



the accommodation takes up more of my maintenance loan than i expected... i'd be left with roooooughly £1000 when all is said and done, for either of the catered/self catered options i applied for, and i don't have much of a sense of finance so i have no idea if that's a good amount to be left over with for everything else i'll need over the year.

i've been losing interest in my course gradually since the start of year 13 and i don't know what i'd switch to so that doesn't help me stop feeling so crappy about uni all of a sudden.

i looked forward to uni for years, i looked at it as an escape from my crappy life but now i feel like i was naive in thinking that it was that easy. h

man. i put it off for so long cos i knew this kind of chaos was awaiting me. welp. i did what i was supposed to do so far, i'll worry about everything else later. in the unlikely event i meet my offer, i'm fairly certain i'm going to try and take a gap year on results day anyway

i've never felt like more of a child, and this is the one time i'm trying to be responsible. deadass. i want my mum


if it’s a london uni then good luck.
Original post by CHANELDIAMONDS
if it’s a london uni then good luck.


it's not but my family wanted me to go to one so i can live at home :pika: if i do an emergency change of plans on results day, i might consider it. they drive me crazy but it's cheaper :dontknow:
Original post by killua.
it's not but my family wanted me to go to one so i can live at home :pika: if i do an emergency change of plans on results day, i might consider it. they drive me crazy but it's cheaper :dontknow:

yeah exactly. 100x cheaper. i may do the same thing when the time comes. good luck
Original post by CHANELDIAMONDS
yeah exactly. 100x cheaper. i may do the same thing when the time comes. good luck


thanks b, you too
i'm really out here spamming this thread today but. alluka is a mood

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