Don’t want to have sex with boyfriend of nearly two years

It will be two years in November, we are both in college and quite mature for our age. He seems like he would have sex but I honestly can’t say I would loose my virginity to him.

Is it me? Am I just so stuck up I don’t want to have sex with my own boyfriend? I just don’t see myself doing it with him, sometimes I don’t even want to kiss him. Is this a bad sign? I do love him but there are phases were I just want to be alone and not have him kiss me.

Any advice would help thank you :frown:

((

Reply 1

A Rolling Stone

20

my doubt is that you are sincerely attracted to him... my guess is you were probably infatuated by him afte he gave you attention or because he was such a good friend at the time.

sounds like you're just attached to him rather than genuinely attracted tbh

Original post by Anonymous

It will be two years in November, we are both in college and quite mature for our age. He seems like he would have sex but I honestly can’t say I would loose my virginity to him.

Is it me? Am I just so stuck up I don’t want to have sex with my own boyfriend? I just don’t see myself doing it with him, sometimes I don’t even want to kiss him. Is this a bad sign? I do love him but there are phases were I just want to be alone and not have him kiss me.

Any advice would help thank you :frown:

((

Reply 2

Loosie goosie

9

Wait.. Your bf stayed with you for 2 years in a sexless relatioship. Damn :sigh:

that takes some serious willpower.

I would have bounced within a week.

Reply 3

Luckystars500

16

Original post by Anonymous

It will be two years in November, we are both in college and quite mature for our age. He seems like he would have sex but I honestly can’t say I would loose my virginity to him.

Is it me? Am I just so stuck up I don’t want to have sex with my own boyfriend? I just don’t see myself doing it with him, sometimes I don’t even want to kiss him. Is this a bad sign? I do love him but there are phases were I just want to be alone and not have him kiss me.

Any advice would help thank you :frown:

((

I've been through a similar problem... for me I found out that I didn't actually find him attractive, he was a great guy but sometimes you get feelings confused and stuff. If you don't want to kiss him, it doesn't mean that you don't love him, it just means he's not right for you.

Sorry if this is hard for you

Reply 4

anosmianAcrimony

20

Do you think you might be better off as just close platonic friends?

Reply 5

Fermion.

20

Sounds like there’s no sexual attraction

Reply 6

xfootiecrazeesarax

12

I disagree on the kissing front, but you should probably be sexually attracted.

I'm not a massive fan of kissing tbh, properly a bit of a hygiene weirdo but ;P anyone I m properly attracted to would definitely nclude sexuall attractive. There's others perhaps you admire, but just not your type so you can't love them

Reply 7

londonmyst

19

That's fine.
You choose who you have sex with and when you feel that you are ready for sex.

It does sound like you are not physically attracted to your boyfriend and probably never will be.
More of a friendship gone too far than a desire for sexual contact.
I think this relationship will be a distant memory by the time that you graduate uni.

Reply 8

username4626084

20

Just a friend for you but for him you’re a gf

It sounds like the relationship has run its course and you're still together out of habit; not love. It'd be best to end it so both of you can find partners you have more chemistry with.

Reply 10

mgi

20

Original post by Anonymous

It will be two years in November, we are both in college and quite mature for our age. He seems like he would have sex but I honestly can’t say I would loose my virginity to him.

Is it me? Am I just so stuck up I don’t want to have sex with my own boyfriend? I just don’t see myself doing it with him, sometimes I don’t even want to kiss him. Is this a bad sign? I do love him but there are phases were I just want to be alone and not have him kiss me.

Any advice would help thank you :frown:

((

He is a good friend to you probably- but you don't fancy or love him and you probably know it deep down. So the question is why are you wasting your time and his? Be honest with him and let him go! Then you will both be free to fancy someone who actually feels true desire. He should have asked you before about where you see the relationship going rather than just accepting your asexual type behaviour!

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Thank you for being so straightforward I truly appreciate it! I just feel terrible because I feel like I’m partly to blame, which let’s be honest I am, my mental health is always all over the place so would you say it would be a factor as well? It sounds like a pathetic excuse I know

Original post by mgi

He is a good friend to you probably- but you don't fancy or love him and you probably know it deep down. So the question is why are you wasting your time and his? Be honest with him and let him go! Then you will both be free to fancy someone who actually feels true desire. He should have asked you before about where you see the relationship going rather than just accepting your asexual type behaviour!

Reply 12

mgi

20

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you for being so straightforward I truly appreciate it! I just feel terrible because I feel like I’m partly to blame, which let’s be honest I am, my mental health is always all over the place so would you say it would be a factor as well? It sounds like a pathetic excuse I know

Yes your mental health could affect the issue but I assume you arw getting help with dealing with the mental health problem. But do remember it is not your fault if you di not fancy someone or you do not want to kiss them or you dont want to have sex. But you must be honest about how you feel with the person!

Don’t want to have sex with boyfriend of nearly two years

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