How to not ejaculate way too quickly?

Original post by Anonymous

Embarrassing question but I’ve had sex 3 times with my girlfriend now and each time I’ve ended up finishing in around 1 minute and it’s becoming increasingly embarrassing and awkward.

I had to tell her to stop during the foreplay (a handjob) as well so i didn’t finish prematurely.

Is there anyway to make you last longer so it isn’t embarrassing or at least train yourself to have more stamina? People have said to masturbate beforehand but that seems odd to me.

Any advice?

You feel the need to perform perhaps? How about relaxing more and talking to your gf about the issue. The best things to do is to vary the sex that you have. Also, a handjob will make you come and your gf would probably know this anyway. That would not be premature ejaculation. If you are penetrating her then you hsve to be more aware of what you are feeling and thinking at the time; when you know that you are getting to close to the edge then you can withdraw and squeeze the penis with your hand. Then you can start again. You have to practice controlling your feelings and actions. It also helps if your gf is understanding and you are both caring towards each other.

Reply 3

Apachecow

19

I think you need to put this into context - you've had sex 3 times. This IS something you can learn to control but it will take time and experience. At this stage I really wouldn't worry too much about it. Concentrate on getting your girlfriend to orgasm before it even goes in and then she's satisfied, lubricated and the pressure is off.

Imagine how daft you'd sound saying you'd had 3 driving lessons and you were worried you couldn't drift a car around a corner and do handbrake turns! You've got a good 50 years to get sex right - you're in the VERY steepest part of the learning curve.

Enjoy!

Reply 4

Original post by Anonymous

Embarrassing question but I’ve had sex 3 times with my girlfriend now and each time I’ve ended up finishing in around 1 minute and it’s becoming increasingly embarrassing and awkward.

I had to tell her to stop during the foreplay (a handjob) as well so i didn’t finish prematurely.

Is there anyway to make you last longer so it isn’t embarrassing or at least train yourself to have more stamina? People have said to masturbate beforehand but that seems odd to me.

Any advice?

I'm in more or less the same situation. I've read most of the threads on here but just want to know - before trying any of the 'cures' - is it something that improves after the first few times. I mean in general, regardless of any other factors, does it get easier to last?. At the moment I'm really hoping that's the case and I haven't got 'a problem' but it's at the point where if it happens many more times it's going to be an issue.

Reply 5

Apachecow

19

Absolutely gets better.

Reply 6

Original post by drew711

I'm in more or less the same situation. I've read most of the threads on here but just want to know - before trying any of the 'cures' - is it something that improves after the first few times. I mean in general, regardless of any other factors, does it get easier to last?. At the moment I'm really hoping that's the case and I haven't got 'a problem' but it's at the point where if it happens many more times it's going to be an issue.

It is important that you don't make it into an issue though. Your mind can affect these things in a negative way.
This is a good website for you to read:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/a_to_z/premature-ejaculation-a-to-z

Reply 7

Original post by mgi

It is important that you don't make it into an issue though. Your mind can affect these things in a negative way.
This is a good website for you to read:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/a_to_z/premature-ejaculation-a-to-z

Thanks - I get the point about over-thinking. It's just easier said than done. I just keep wondering at what point you have to accept that it's an actual problem. How many times should it take before it gets easier? It's easier not to worry if you have some sort of plan ( I find) but at the moment it's the 'not knowing' that makes it hard not to think about it.

Reply 8

Krombopulisvoid

8

Original post by Anonymous

Embarrassing question but I’ve had sex 3 times with my girlfriend now and each time I’ve ended up finishing in around 1 minute and it’s becoming increasingly embarrassing and awkward.

I had to tell her to stop during the foreplay (a handjob) as well so i didn’t finish prematurely.

Is there anyway to make you last longer so it isn’t embarrassing or at least train yourself to have more stamina? People have said to masturbate beforehand but that seems odd to me.

Any advice?

Maybe try taking short breaks when you start to get a bit close to finishing. You can do this by asking to change positions and taking a short break whilst changing positions

Reply 9

Original post by Krombopulisvoid

Maybe try taking short breaks when you start to get a bit close to finishing. You can do this by asking to change positions and taking a short break whilst changing positions

This has made a difference but the only tricky part is knowing when to take the breaks. Obviously before it’s too late but I seem to go from ‘OK’ to ‘too late’ without much in between.

Reply 10

Original post by drew711

This has made a difference but the only tricky part is knowing when to take the breaks. Obviously before it’s too late but I seem to go from ‘OK’ to ‘too late’ without much in between.

the other thing you could do is to find ways of doing a lot of non penetrative sex , and making sure that your partner is satisfied first, then you can bother about being premature. With practice things will get better.

Reply 11

Original post by mgi

the other thing you could do is to find ways of doing a lot of non penetrative sex , and making sure that your partner is satisfied first, then you can bother about being premature. With practice things will get better.

Thanks and yeah, trying to make up for it in other areas seems to be appreciate! Unfortunately we didn’t have the chance to get much practice over the holidays. Feels a bit like back to square one. In general how long would expect it to get better i.e. last a reasonable amount of time without too much effort?

Reply 12

Original post by drew711

Thanks and yeah, trying to make up for it in other areas seems to be appreciate! Unfortunately we didn’t have the chance to get much practice over the holidays. Feels a bit like back to square one. In general how long would expect it to get better i.e. last a reasonable amount of time without too much effort?

Ok. Well let's say you had sex twice a week- then after a few months you would get more used to having sex and will notice that you will last longer! Condoms can sometimes help as well- and an understanding partner definitely help. Also if you ejaculate twice in a day, say, then your third ejaculation will take longer probably! Patience,studying sex, and not getting anxious will also definitely help you!

Reply 13

Original post by mgi

Ok. Well let's say you had sex twice a week- then after a few months you would get more used to having sex and will notice that you will last longer! Condoms can sometimes help as well- and an understanding partner definitely help. Also if you ejaculate twice in a day, say, then your third ejaculation will take longer probably! Patience,studying sex, and not getting anxious will also definitely help you!

OK so maybe I’ve been expecting too much too soon like getting better after a couple of times. If a couple of months is the norm there might still be some hope. Thanks 👍

Reply 14