Cut off from all support

because i dont want to live in a hospital for a year where nurses control everything you do. and honestly i'm just too tired to fight tooth and nail for the *****y services they provide to a limited amount of 'worthy' people. they try to brainwash you in there.

They make you spend an entire year in the hospital? I didn't realise it was that long. And have you spoken to your doctor about this, about how exactly you're feeling about the therapeutic community treatment?

You don't have to answer this, but can I ask where are you at now with life in general? Are you a college student, university etc.?

No I would have spent up to a year in that hospital if I hadn't left. That's how long these treatments tend to last when they're long term.
I'm with the OU at the moment, and volunteering occasionally, which makes it sound like I have it together at least somewhat although I really don't lol.

Do you have to stay there 24/7 or is it drop in sessions?

And how is the volunteering going for you currently? Are you doing anything in your day to day that may help with how you're feeling?

Do you have to stay there 24/7 or is it drop in sessions?

And how is the volunteering going for you currently? Are you doing anything in your day to day that may help with how you're feeling?

I don't think so, I get mixed messages from him, on the other hand he doesn't want to see me unless I want him to refer me back to the therapeutic community, but on the other hand he doesn't think that I should do that anymore either. So where does that leave me? Nowhere. I don't know what I'm supposed to prove to him. I'm washed out and tired and I can't deal with anything anymore, but on the other hand i'm scared of having no support whatsoever. often I just don't care enough to fight for things that might have helped me. In short, I give up.

Please don't give up, keep trying eventually things will get easier for you. You have people who love and care for you if you can't find it in yourself to do it for you, do it for your family. You have options available to you, they may not be ideal or things you want to do but they're still options and they'll help you to get to where you want to be.

I would have been living there all week, except for the weekends. it's quite a rare setting, they only have one or two specialist hospitals in the country like that.
It's not going great, I'm not really committing to it as much as I should. Like I said, I don't enjoy anything.

and the outreach program is usually for ex inpatients who completed treatment, but when I left I asked if I could join that instead and go there as an outpatient. originally they said this would be a good idea, but then they wanted to assess me all over again, and the hospital is miles away from where I live and hard to get to, I couldn't have traveled there back and forth numerous times and not getting anything at the end of it.

yeah that's what people have told me for years on end, yet somehow things never do get better, only worse.

Surely there must be some hobby or interest you have that you enjoy?


Hmm, well if this is the case and it is causing you such difficulty, then perhaps you should arrange that meeting with your doctor and explain it to them. The doctor may interpret it as 'you can't be bothered', but if you explain that it's actually practically very difficult for you to undergo the programme in the way that they want for you, it may change the doctors perspective. I know you may feel like the doctor doesn't care, but at least give it a shot.

What factors do you think caused you to become worse? And not to be corny, but there is that quote lol:

'Why do we fall Master Bruce?'
Bruce Wayne looks up.
'So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.'

What factors do you think caused you to become worse? And not to be corny, but there is that quote lol:

'Why do we fall Master Bruce?'
Bruce Wayne looks up.
'So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.'

Hmm, how about this. I'm currently writing a novella that deals with life challenges. I myself have had quite a rough childhood, never dealt with depression, but had a lot of rage and resentment due to issues at home, broken relationships with parents, people at school treating me like trash for most of youthful days, so I was in a very dark place, very detached from reality most of the time, even now I do struggle to have close relationships with people. Now I wish to help others who are in the same/similar predicament, would you be willing to explain how you feel and how depression is like? If you could, I could talk about it in my story to raise awareness of the seriousness of the issue, but also potentially help those who are suffering from things like that

How long does it actually take to get to this place? My hospital placements are on average 1h 15mins away, I had to do that all last year, but hopefully I'll be getting a car for this year.


Why not consider some of these alternative opinions. I mean, you can never give up until you've at least expended all possible alternatives.
You can talk to me if you wish. Having gone through rough early days, I've learnt what it means to be a good friend, so if anything, my suffering has made me wise and strong willed. Now I'm in a position to help others going through similar stuff.


Still, doesn't make it untrue.

that's not really fair. i've been engaging for years with different talking therapies and medications and nothing worked. I can't be expected to just cure myself. I have a lot of experience in being in mental health services and I can tell you doctors don't know what they're ****ing doing half the time, it's all just trial and error.
i guess it's the end of the line for me then.

Yes it's partially trial and error cos we don't have simple blood tests and meds for mental health like with diabetes or something. It's complex. There are some *****y people in mental health and some fantastic ones like any other job or industry. I understand you're upset right now but this 'I guess it's the end of the line' **** is why people are walking away. I got discharged from services for not being ready to change. I was just getting worse. When I was ready I went back and worked my ass off to learn the start of coping mechanism and get on track... you won't cure yourself cos it's not that simple. Most people will live with the leftovers of their mental illness for years and years. You've just got to start practicing the coping strategies and thought patterns you're given and making the right choices... not sitting there crying woe is me the world is against me.

You don't need to give your life story, just explain to me what depression is, but if you don't want to that's fine, I understand.

Hmm, this is where it gets confusing, you said you get different opinions from different doctors, but you're saying you've been cut off from all forms of therapy? So what exactly happens once they give you their opinion, is it acted on or do you just end up going to another doctor?

What about private therapy? Or ask for a different psychiatrist if you don't get on with your current one?

I would if I could afford it. if I manage to get a job, even a part time one, i'll look into it.

Could your parents spot you some cash? Do you receive ESA or PIP? A lot of private therapists do things on a sliding scale, so if you have little income then they'll make it less expensive.