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Cut off from all support

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Reply 80
Original post by Anonymous
i mean , it's hard not to be i guess, since my situation is so different from anyone else's that I meet? i have nothing to talk about with anybody except my own problems. it's difficult to answer straightforward questions like how I am and what did I do over the weekend without sounding miserable tbh.
i dont know how much this is helping lol. it's getting pretty late.

I get what you mean. Even though you said you don't enjoy anything, perhaps you should try to experiment with different activities? Because I know some people who suffer from depression who don't like doing things not because they actually don't enjoy doing anything but it's simply because of their depression, but then they end up not doing anything, which makes it worse

Well, we'll be here in the morning if you'd like to continue this conversation. You seem like a person with a lot of layers, so it's cool to pick at the pieces trying to figure you out.
Sadly that is the usual policy, with appointments and sessions being as scarce as they are they need to know you are reliable before starting so you wont just drop out halfway through. I had to have loads of tedious meetings before DBT and even now if i miss 4 sessions in a row you are dropped. It might seem harsh but you can understand their logic, these waitlists are huge and they need people who are going to turn up. They also say that if you cant commit to turning up (i.e you MH is too severe atm) then it is not the best time for you to be having therapy as you need to be there in mind as well as in person for any of it to go in and for you to be able to work on it. It's also not really the psych's job once you have been passed to psychotherapy
Original post by Anonymous
he didnt make any effort to convince me to go back, not that I would have wanted him to, or offer me an alternative. so what is the point of him exactly. psychiatrists won't even suggest what they think you need anymore, they just leave you to your own devices.

I think you need to take this up with psychotherapy not your psych, once you have your diagnosis with them it's sort of 'job done' next type attitude as their waitlists are huge as well. I only see my psych about once a year now that i have been passed to psychotherapy. He probably cant do much because its not his section as such as its not to do with meds and stuff like that. Have you spoken to the people involved with your psychotherapy?
Original post by Pathway
Involuntary admission for treatment, for up to 6 months or longer if they deem it necessary. They can also force medication and such on you which given some of my physical issues could be disastrous knowing they don't like liaising with other specialists of mine. I wasn't able to refuse because I was deemed too unwell to make decisions basically so my "nearest relative" (specific term in the mental health act) had to decide for me and they agreed with my mum. She basically said being sectioned in the ward where my best friend ended her life would just make me worse.

I can see that. I worry about it too because my physical health is pretty complex as well due to a genetic disorder I have which causes a bunch of other problems. I've found having candid discussions with medical professionals about how my mental health may or may not interact with my physical health to be helpful though. As an example my genetic disorder can cause pain, but so can depression. I am aware of this. Simultaneously, mental illness cannot cause a joint to dislocate (unless I force it to via self harm). I'm just very honest and open with them because if I'm not then things can't be improved.

My dad isn't helpful, he's not usually in the country anymore tbh either lol. But even if he was he is abusive so his "help" would probably consist of taunting me. My mum tries to help but I know she struggles, especially with my mental health issues, it's why I try to manage things by myself where possible because it's just easier.

Well it can't make the situation worse, can it? Like aside from the anxiety (which would eventually settle down), you've already been told to get lost effectively. Being assertive with your needs with the help of some sort of advocate might prove to them that you want help. Have you had individual therapy before? I understand being scared, but you've got to prove to them you're willing to try and this is one way of showing that you do want help to change. That you are ready for change. There are potential positives to get from this and if nothing good comes out of complaining then you can always ask for the next steps from MIND and see what they say. You have options.

good God :/ I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. that sounds like a traumatic experience, thank god your mother stepped in.
yeah i often get paranoid that doctors are lying to me now, for instance if they say that an ECG is normal when I can see 'abnormal' ecg written at the top. It's like being told that your cholesterol or sugar levels are normal when you know that the figure is too high. :/
I have filed several complaints with A&E departments, it rarely leads to any change, just an apology for 'not getting the standard of service you expected'. It just adds more stress.
Original post by CoolCavy
I think you need to take this up with psychotherapy not your psych, once you have your diagnosis with them it's sort of 'job done' next type attitude as their waitlists are huge as well. I only see my psych about once a year now that i have been passed to psychotherapy. He probably cant do much because its not his section as such as its not to do with meds and stuff like that. Have you spoken to the people involved with your psychotherapy?

there's no people involved in my psychotherapy atm, just a psychiatrist who I think has discharged me.
Original post by Anonymous
there's no people involved in my psychotherapy atm, just a psychiatrist who I think has discharged me.

Oh that sucks :/ did he not refer you to anything? Does your clinic/hospital have a psychotherapy department? Mine is quite easy as one half of the building is psychiatrists the other is therapists. Dont know if it would be worth talking to them somehow
Will leave you with pathway anyway as she knows a lot more about this than me, i wish you all the luck :hugs:
Original post by Anonymous
good God :/ I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. that sounds like a traumatic experience, thank god your mother stepped in.
yeah i often get paranoid that doctors are lying to me now, for instance if they say that an ECG is normal when I can see 'abnormal' ecg written at the top. It's like being told that your cholesterol or sugar levels are normal when you know that the figure is too high. :/
I have filed several complaints with A&E departments, it rarely leads to any change, just an apology for 'not getting the standard of service you expected'. It just adds more stress.


It's okay. It does cause issues sometimes with my ability to engage with the MH service in my area because they're "repeat offenders" in my head (I lost another friend last year due to negligence by the local MH hospital, she took her life as well after they discharged her from a police section). But still, as much as my MH issues make me have a massive distrust for basically everyone, my brain is not always right, and specifically with my MH trust they're not all ****. My crisis worker was a gem for example, so is my current psychologist. I can't avoid everyone forever, even if that's what I prefer to do lol (this goes for professionals as well as friends and family).

As I understand it not all abnormalities are cause for concern, they're just incidental findings usually. But I understand that if you see something and no one explains it to you, you might lose trust.

If it doesn't when you make a complaint to yout MH team, forward it to the trust director and also your local MP. That's what my friends have done for me in the past. One friend of mine works with safeguarding adults and when I asked why the MP was CCd in, he said that it was because they usually get real scared when you do that and they actually pay attention.
Original post by Anonymous
well it is the end of the line if i'm being discharged from all the services that could have helped me. i dont know how else to see it. i dont know how one goes from getting worse and spiralling into crisis to being ready to go back into therapy, without any kind of support whatsoever. It's not something I can do on my own.
you can mock me all you like but it is true that the world is ****, the nhs is **** and mental health services are **** for people with complex needs.



You've literally said your consultant will take you back if you attend the treatment he has offered. Amd this is after they gave you the outpatient you wanted but then decided you couldnt be bothered to travel to. I get it, its far away. I sprained my foot in treatment, couldnt walk couldnt get a taxi couldnt get a lift, i struggled my way there because i wanted to get better and missing a session meant you could be kicked out. You're not being cut off, you're cutting yourself off
Original post by doodle_333
You've literally said your consultant will take you back if you attend the treatment he has offered. Amd this is after they gave you the outpatient you wanted but then decided you couldnt be bothered to travel to. I get it, its far away. I sprained my foot in treatment, couldnt walk couldnt get a taxi couldnt get a lift, i struggled my way there because i wanted to get better and missing a session meant you could be kicked out. You're not being cut off, you're cutting yourself off

take it however you want, i've been through countless assessments and to join the outpatient program the same hospital would have had to assess me all over again which they'd already done. there's only so much I can take.
Original post by CoolCavy
Oh that sucks :/ did he not refer you to anything? Does your clinic/hospital have a psychotherapy department? Mine is quite easy as one half of the building is psychiatrists the other is therapists. Dont know if it would be worth talking to them somehow
Will leave you with pathway anyway as she knows a lot more about this than me, i wish you all the luck :hugs:

he did many years ago, and I had CBT and then psychotherapy. Then when I left the hospital he contacted me to ask if there was anything he could do, not sure why as he didn't offer me anything else. it's a long story lol.
Original post by Pathway
It's okay. It does cause issues sometimes with my ability to engage with the MH service in my area because they're "repeat offenders" in my head (I lost another friend last year due to negligence by the local MH hospital, she took her life as well after they discharged her from a police section). But still, as much as my MH issues make me have a massive distrust for basically everyone, my brain is not always right, and specifically with my MH trust they're not all ****. My crisis worker was a gem for example, so is my current psychologist. I can't avoid everyone forever, even if that's what I prefer to do lol (this goes for professionals as well as friends and family).

As I understand it not all abnormalities are cause for concern, they're just incidental findings usually. But I understand that if you see something and no one explains it to you, you might lose trust.

If it doesn't when you make a complaint to yout MH team, forward it to the trust director and also your local MP. That's what my friends have done for me in the past. One friend of mine works with safeguarding adults and when I asked why the MP was CCd in, he said that it was because they usually get real scared when you do that and they actually pay attention.

what do you mean by repeat offenders? because they failed your friends you mean? that must be hard :/
yeah i think the more experience on has with mental health staff and just the nhs in general, the more mistrust there is. I've yet to find anyone working in the service who has made a meaningful difference to my life.
My health issues have been explained to me but it's just left me wondering why I have so many abnormalities and why I was born that way, for which there aren't really any explanations, if that makes sense.
Reply 91
OP, I'm unable to see your response to my comment. It says 'invalid'.
Original post by HGS345
OP, I'm unable to see your response to my comment. It says 'invalid'.

That's odd :/ yeah I keep getting please look after yourself PMs. Ill try to find it.
Reply 93
Original post by Anonymous
That's odd :/ yeah I keep getting please look after yourself PMs. Ill try to find it.

Please do. How are you feeling today?
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by HGS345
Please do. How are you feeling today?

I'm sorry I really can't find it. What did you ask me? Maybe I didnt reply at all.
I'm not great, had some sharp pains in the ribs but i'm volunteering this afternoon.
Reply 95
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sorry I really can't find it. What did you ask me? Maybe I didnt reply at all.
I'm not great, had some sharp pains in the ribs but i'm volunteering this afternoon.

It wasn't really a question. But more offering to be there for conversation if you wished it. You mentioned you end up talking about your problems when you meet somebody. Perhaps you just need to get things off your chest.

You don't have to answer this, but what's causing the rib pain?
And that's cool, what exactly do you do in the volunteering? I was interesting in youth volunteering near uni, but couldn't find anything online.
Original post by Anonymous
what do you mean by repeat offenders? because they failed your friends you mean? that must be hard :/
yeah i think the more experience on has with mental health staff and just the nhs in general, the more mistrust there is. I've yet to find anyone working in the service who has made a meaningful difference to my life.
My health issues have been explained to me but it's just left me wondering why I have so many abnormalities and why I was born that way, for which there aren't really any explanations, if that makes sense.


Yeah, they keep letting people I care about down, sometimes catastrophically. Like yes, of course, the two people who I cared about that took their lives in the MH trusts care made the decision themselves (my best friend in 2015, and my old friend last year), but it was still related to negligence by the MH hospital, so. I do give them some of the blame.

I've got quite a lot of experience with the system (mental and physical), both from personal experience and from watching loved ones go through it, it's hard to not let past experience tarnish your view of things, but it is something you need to be open to so that you can improve your life.

Would having an answer help though? Would you say you have health anxiety? Most people have (minor) abnormalities, you're actually more abnormal if you don't and you come up perfect on every test. There are ranges where people "should" be, but we are humans, and humans vary.
Original post by HGS345
It wasn't really a question. But more offering to be there for conversation if you wished it. You mentioned you end up talking about your problems when you meet somebody. Perhaps you just need to get things off your chest.

You don't have to answer this, but what's causing the rib pain?
And that's cool, what exactly do you do in the volunteering? I was interesting in youth volunteering near uni, but couldn't find anything online.


On the contrary, I think what I said was that when I want to see someone it's as a distraction, not to talk in depth about my problems. I can't see where I posted it now.
I dont know what the cause of my pain is. Only a doctor could tell me.
I volunteer at an english heritage property, which involves a lot of standing around doing nothing.
Reply 98
Original post by Anonymous
On the contrary, I think what I said was that when I want to see someone it's as a distraction, not to talk in depth about my problems. I can't see where I posted it now.
I dont know what the cause of my pain is. Only a doctor could tell me.
I volunteer at an english heritage property, which involves a lot of standing around doing nothing.

Yeah I got that, but why is it you end up just talking about your problems? Is it because you have nothing else to talk about? Surely if you had no intentions of speaking about your problems, you wouldn't end up doing it anyway?

Ah, like a tudor house. Interesting. The only fact I remember from visiting one of those old houses was that cheesecake cost £25 back in the days.
Original post by HGS345
Yeah I got that, but why is it you end up just talking about your problems? Is it because you have nothing else to talk about? Surely if you had no intentions of speaking about your problems, you wouldn't end up doing it anyway?

Ah, like a tudor house. Interesting. The only fact I remember from visiting one of those old houses was that cheesecake cost £25 back in the days.

Maybe because problems are all I have :lol: sometimes I just end up saying more than I intended.

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