Wax strips gone wrong

I’m a guy, was bored so I thought I’d wax my bum, the strips didn’t do anything apart from imprint two wax prints in between my butt cheeks, now they’re stuck together and I literally cannot poo. Or fart. I’m also 16 and it’s all over the towels and sheets, and it’s sticky as ****. Won’t come off. End me now.

But seriously I scrubbed my butt with soap, shampoo, body wash etc for 20 mins straight and it did nothing. How do I get rid of it, please help. I’m begging. Gonna have a sticky bum forever

Did the wax strips not come with wipes? If not, try some baby oil. Or just try to cut the hair off with scissors. And don't do this again, obviously...