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Is it normal to be a virgin at age 20?

Ah. I feel embarrassed because...

Today I met up with sixth form friends and whenever they ask me about uni because I moved out far from home I get comments such as

“How high is your body count”
“You must be getting lots of action”.

Truth is that I am a virgin. Today I accidentally blurted out that I didn’t get any action last year because their question was direct. I felt pretty embarrassed.

I am not religious or waiting for marriage. It’s just that I don’t enjoy clubbing and last year in university I had bigger issues such as a literal eating disorder and constantly feeling worthless. Also like I said clubbing just doesn’t work for me and tbh I wouldn’t want to pull under the influence of alcohol anyway.

Any tips for next year?

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how did your friends react when u said you're a virgin
Reply 2
Original post by cloud_9_
how did your friends react when u said you're a virgin

I don’t know I just felt an aura of disappointment/surprise? The topic didn’t continue I’m probs just overthinking lol.

my other friends asked me if my body count is double digits and I usually give vague answers to those type of questions
Original post by Anonymous
I don’t know I just felt an aura of disappointment/surprise? The topic didn’t continue I’m probs just overthinking lol.

my other friends asked me if my body count is double digits and I usually give vague answers to those type of questions

Honestly body count means nothing if you don't have good relationships with those people.
I don't find slutty-ness an admirable trait - so well done.
I am a virgin too but it's harder being gay.
Original post by Anonymous
Ah. I feel embarrassed because...

Today I met up with sixth form friends and whenever they ask me about uni because I moved out far from home I get comments such as

“How high is your body count”
“You must be getting lots of action”.

Truth is that I am a virgin. Today I accidentally blurted out that I didn’t get any action last year because their question was direct. I felt pretty embarrassed.

I am not religious or waiting for marriage. It’s just that I don’t enjoy clubbing and last year in university I had bigger issues such as a literal eating disorder and constantly feeling worthless. Also like I said clubbing just doesn’t work for me and tbh I wouldn’t want to pull under the influence of alcohol anyway.

Any tips for next year?

Are you a girl or boy, just curious?

Most of my friends have just finished 1st year and most are still virgins (but that's just the area i'm from, I went to a girls' school to).

Nothing to be ashamed of.
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
Are you a girl or boy, just curious?

Most of my friends have just finished 1st year and most are still virgins (but that's just the area i'm from, I went to a girls' school to).

Nothing to be ashamed of.

I’m a guy
Original post by Anonymous
I’m a guy

it's not bad. Especially as it was your choice. Doesn't sound like you were trying really hard and still nobody wanted to. Would be a bit more embarrassing if they thought you were super desperate to do it imo. I'm 19 and still a virgin. If my close friends ask me I tell them the truth, cos loads of them are virgins too. Once somebody at work asked me so I told them i had slept with 1 person as they don't know that i've never had a boyfriend so I lied and said I had 1 boyfriend a couple of years ago. I'd personally prefer if my first boyfriend wasn't super sexually experienced as it's a bit embarrassing if I tell him I'm a virgin but he's had sex with like 50 people.
I'm a brazilian girl and I don't know wtf I'm doing on a uk student website lol, but I TOTALLY know how you feel. I'm a virgin and I'm almost 20 and I get super embarrassed when the topic of conversation is sex and hookups. It makes me feel like a loser. We live in a sex driven society and it sucks. But I'm trying to feel more comfortable in my own skin and not let that make me feel less. Accepting ourselves is hard and it has ups and downs. Baby steps, man
(i had to create an account just to write this ****, ****ing appreciate it)
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by heyitsolivia
I'm a brazilian girl and I don't know wtf I'm doing on a uk student website lol, but I TOTALLY know how you feel. I'm a virgin and I'm almost 20 and I get super embarrassed when the topic of conversation is sex and hookups. It makes me feel like a loser. We live in a sex driven society and it sucks. But I'm trying to feel more comfortable in my own skin and not let that make me feel less. Accepting ourselves is hard and it has ups and downs. Baby steps, man
(i had to create an account just to write this ****, ****ing appreciate it)

I’m 21 I’m op and still not had a gf/sex. Although it was 4months when I made this post and I was kinda depressed in my first year of uni. Now I’m happier and putting myself out there so I am bound to meet someone eventually.

Anyways when I go back home for the holidays I do find that some of the lads talk about sex/hook ups a lot. And ask me if I am going to be “cuffed” which means settle down with a girlfriend lol. I give vague answers and they just assume I have some sex life even though I don’t explicitly answer their questions.

I don’t really care anymore and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. As you get older relationships are more meaningful and so it’s better than doing all this stuff when you are younger. :smile:
You should not be embarrassed about being a virgin, I think it is very commendable of you.
Only give up your Virginity when you think the time is right not before.
I salute you. X
Yes this is very normal and there is no rush.
It doesn't matter. I'm a guy I didn't lose till I was 18, and since then I've slept with a fair few, nothing impressive maybe like 20. I am in my mid-20s now so my body count is very meh. The one thing I regret over not sleeping with more girls in my teens/early 20s was my inability to develop meaningful and lasting relationships with people. If I had learned that skill earlier I would have slept with at least double that. I am still rubbish at it just so you understand.

So I guess my advice to you is forget trying to get laid and try to learn to build connections and relationships with people. Because learning how to have connections with people will change your approach to conversations and the sex will inevitably follow from that. And yes that includes one-night stands and f*** buddies - if that's what you're looking for.

Not sure if this was the advice you were looking for but it's my two cents so there you go.

Happy New Year.
Same age and situation
Reply 15
I would say that it's more normal to be a virgin at 20 than not.

Don't feel you have to rush it. The time will come.
It is not only normal... it is commendable! Most lie about it anyway.
Original post by Anonymous
Ah. I feel embarrassed because...

Today I met up with sixth form friends and whenever they ask me about uni because I moved out far from home I get comments such as

“How high is your body count”
“You must be getting lots of action”.

Truth is that I am a virgin. Today I accidentally blurted out that I didn’t get any action last year because their question was direct. I felt pretty embarrassed.

I am not religious or waiting for marriage. It’s just that I don’t enjoy clubbing and last year in university I had bigger issues such as a literal eating disorder and constantly feeling worthless. Also like I said clubbing just doesn’t work for me and tbh I wouldn’t want to pull under the influence of alcohol anyway.

Any tips for next year?


Any tips? My tip would be, don't be so concerned with 'getting action' simply because your friends are. Do what you want to do, and if that is continue to be a virgin so be it.

I was late losing my virginity too, at 18, that used to matter so much to me (like badly) I thought I was such a loser. Now that I'm in my 20s, it really doesn't matter- at all. No one really cares to be honest.

The most important thing is to discover what is best for you. I think that apart from the fact your friends blagging about pulling, do you wish that you could brag too? If so, then maybe there is more to this post than what was intended. Go out there and find someone to connect with! It may do your mental health a world of good, not the sex, but the relationship alone may be just what you need. Join some clubs, reach out, talk to people with common interests.

Don't sleep with someone just to say that "I did it", I did that and to be honest I regret it- I should have waited and done it in my own time.

Hope that helps!
Go to music events that play your favourite type of music, and socialise with people there.
I went to uni, and rarely went clubbing because the music in the clubs was the same sh*t that was on the radio, just a faster tempo.

So I went to events that played Trance (my kind of music), met people there, and still go raving now.
Make your uni / life experience the best it can be FOR YOU and not others.
Original post by Anonymous
Ah. I feel embarrassed because...

Today I met up with sixth form friends and whenever they ask me about uni because I moved out far from home I get comments such as

“How high is your body count”
“You must be getting lots of action”.

Truth is that I am a virgin. Today I accidentally blurted out that I didn’t get any action last year because their question was direct. I felt pretty embarrassed.

I am not religious or waiting for marriage. It’s just that I don’t enjoy clubbing and last year in university I had bigger issues such as a literal eating disorder and constantly feeling worthless. Also like I said clubbing just doesn’t work for me and tbh I wouldn’t want to pull under the influence of alcohol anyway.

Any tips for next year?


Its not that deep sex is only fun with the right guy

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