Mum wants some of my student finance!

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Anonymous #1
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Need some advice 😕

My course is for 51 weeks and my mum is telling me that I should I give her some of my student finance and she’ll pay me back but I don’t trust that she’ll pay me back on time.

She got my sister to talk to me on the phone to tell me to help out by giving her some of the money because she did and so did my brother but they didn’t get the money back so they had to struggle. I said no a lot of times and got really angry at my mum and sister for this trying to make me feel terrible.

It’s making me feel like I should start working at the job that I didn’t want to work at just so I have enough money for when I’m at uni...the pay is good but I just don’t like the place but I guess I do need money so I have to work there.
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Rawr789
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That money is yours and eventually you'll have to pay it back. Unless you are going to be staying at your mum's house during the holidays, then you shouldn't have to pay her anything tbh. If you are going to be staying with her during the holidays (summer, Christmas ect.) then maybe you could compromise. Possibly by paying her £100 for every month you stay at hers and £25 for every week you stay, ovbiously this will depend on how much you have left after accommodation and stuff. If your mums struggling then it would be nice to help her out, but work out how much money you need for uni, keep some money just in case something goes wrong and you need some extra money and then work out how much you might be able to give her.
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emily.g34
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hi, umm try to reason with her tell her you need the money but after uni when you become successful you will help her out as best you can, in the mean time stay strong, just because your sister did it doesnt mean you have to
hope this helps
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londonmyst
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Your student finance and any money you earn is yours.
You are not under any obligation to give anything to other people- even your mother.

Follow your gut instinct.
If you want to give your mother some money without any hope of being repaid, go ahead.
But if you want to keep your money for a rainy day or spend it on yourself- that's fine too.
Whatever you want to do.
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Jpw1097
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Need some advice 😕

My course is for 51 weeks and my mum is telling me that I should I give her some of my student finance and she’ll pay me back but I don’t trust that she’ll pay me back on time.

She got my sister to talk to me on the phone to tell me to help out by giving her some of the money because she did and so did my brother but they didn’t get the money back so they had to struggle. I said no a lot of times and got really angry at my mum and sister for this trying to make me feel terrible.

It’s making me feel like I should start working at the job that I didn’t want to work at just so I have enough money for when I’m at uni...the pay is good but I just don’t like the place but I guess I do need money so I have to work there.
How much money does she want to borrow? I have a rule when lending money, if you weren't to get the money back, would it be detrimental to your finances? If the answer is yes, then you shouldn't lend the money, regardless of how much they assure you they'll pay you back. Given that both your brother and sister have lent her money in the past and not received it back, I wouldn't be hopeful of getting the money back.
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MidgetFever
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Are you living with your mum during your studies? If you are I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask for money, call it rent.

If you're living away from home then you shouldnt have to give her money, that's all yours.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rawr789)
That money is yours and eventually you'll have to pay it back. Unless you are going to be staying at your mum's house during the holidays, then you shouldn't have to pay her anything tbh. If you are going to be staying with her during the holidays (summer, Christmas ect.) then maybe you could compromise. Possibly by paying her £100 for every month you stay at hers and £25 for every week you stay, ovbiously this will depend on how much you have left after accommodation and stuff. If your mums struggling then it would be nice to help her out, but work out how much money you need for uni, keep some money just in case something goes wrong and you need some extra money and then work out how much you might be able to give her.
I’m 19 so my mum wouldn’t let me pay for staying at hers during holidays. It would be nice to help but I don’t trust her even though she hasn’t let me down in not taking any chances
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by emily.g34)
hi, umm try to reason with her tell her you need the money but after uni when you become successful you will help her out as best you can, in the mean time stay strong, just because your sister did it doesnt mean you have to
hope this helps
She won’t listen and get my sister involved like always but I’ll stand my ground they aren’t getting a penny from me but thanks for the advice x
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GarriLord
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Mehnn i can't believe what I'm reading here in the comments paying your own mom rent??
Look if you want to assist her ,do just that,don't see it as payment for service rendered
And as par the work, you say the pay is good right?? Good then I think you should do it, doesn't hurt to have extra cash on you 🤷🤷
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Your student finance and any money you earn is yours.
You are not under any obligation to give anything to other people- even your mother.

Follow your gut instinct.
If you want to give your mother some money without any hope of being repaid, go ahead.
But if you want to keep your money for a rainy day or spend it on yourself- that's fine too.
Whatever you want to do.
Yeah my gut is telling me not to give it to her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MidgetFever)
Are you living with your mum during your studies? If you are I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask for money, call it rent.

If you're living away from home then you shouldnt have to give her money, that's all yours.
I’m living away so I can’t give her anything I’ll be 2hours from home
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GarriLord)
Mehnn i can't believe what I'm reading here in the comments paying your own mom rent??
Look if you want to assist her ,do just that,don't see it as payment for service rendered
And as par the work, you say the pay is good right?? Good then I think you should do it, doesn't hurt to have extra cash on you 🤷🤷
Yeah I’m going to work for a bit because at least I’ll have some money to myself that would be good
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Notoriety
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Tell her no. Simple.
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GarriLord
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I’m going to work for a bit because at least I’ll have some money to myself that would be good
Yes that'll be good
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username2950448
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Did your mother not sustain and fund you for 18 years?

If you don't give money to your family when they're in need then who would you give money to?

Is it an emergency for her?

On the other hand, she shouldn't be expecting you to pay out of your uni funds.
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Muttley79
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Need some advice 😕

My course is for 51 weeks and my mum is telling me that I should I give her some of my student finance and she’ll pay me back but I don’t trust that she’ll pay me back on time.

She got my sister to talk to me on the phone to tell me to help out by giving her some of the money because she did and so did my brother but they didn’t get the money back so they had to struggle. I said no a lot of times and got really angry at my mum and sister for this trying to make me feel terrible.

It’s making me feel like I should start working at the job that I didn’t want to work at just so I have enough money for when I’m at uni...the pay is good but I just don’t like the place but I guess I do need money so I have to work there.
It's your money and yours to spend on your course - ignore her request. [I'm a parent btw]
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Palmyra)
Did your mother not sustain and fund you for 18 years?

If you don't give money to your family when they're in need then who would you give money to?

Is it an emergency for her?

On the other hand, she shouldn't be expecting you to pay out of your uni funds.
No it’s not an emergency it’s like tradition😕 basically since my brother and sister gave her some of their student finance.
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kkboyk
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No it’s not an emergency it’s like tradition😕 basically since my brother and sister gave her some of their student finance.
You've pretty much gave strong reasons as to why you shouldn't give it if she's making such a stupid 'tradition'. You really DO NOT want to struggle financially, so don't give it.
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Liro
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If she can manage without it before you go to uni then my thoughts are she can probably manage, student finance is there for a reason for us, you never know what you might need with that money, if you buy books which will most likely cost a lot and especially if you’re not staying at home you’re gonna need all the money you can get to cope with being at uni
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No it’s not an emergency it’s like tradition😕 basically since my brother and sister gave her some of their student finance.
You'll struggle financially if you give any of your money. I gave my money to my mum because she gave me a **** tonne before and I felt I had to repay her. In this case you don't owe her anything. Tell her you don't have any money to give and if she needs any go and get a loan.
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