Gender Identity and Coming Out

Hi, I'm a trans man and I've just finished college and I came out when i was 14. I understand being non-binary is different, but I do have a lot of experience in binding and getting people to use your name and stuff like that.
With regards to names-it's your choice. When you're 16 (or now if you already are) you can get your name changed legally without parental consent. I would advise against this until you're 100% sure of a name, cause I changed mine in the first couple months where I was out. If you want to bind I'm assuming you want like, light-masc type of names. Things like Jamie, Luca, Taylor, Alex, Sam are all gender-neutral, but still kind of suggest masculinity if you get what I mean.

With regards to pronouns, if you really want to use any then go for it, but people will just keep using she, and because that's a female pronoun, people will still associate you with femininity/being female. Do what you want but just keep that in mind.

Wrt binding: Everyone says stuff like 'don't wear the ebay ones' and 'don't bind longer than 8 hours or sing/exercise in one'. Realistically, as long as you're sensible, you can do most of those things. The ebay binders aren't very good, they will not get you very flat but ultimately probably won't hurt you.
Singing is fine, I sing tenor in a choir and also in a band and it's generally been fine. Exercise is a bit more difficult as it does start to restrict your breathing a bit, but I'm also not the fittest person.
The best binders are GC2B and underworks. They're both in the range of £30-40 plus p&p which will vary. I've found underworks binders are very good at actually binding and getting you flat, but are a bit itchy and generally not as comfy. GC2B binders are not as great at binding but are made of a much nicer material and come in loads of colours including various skin tones, so are good if you like wearing white or lighter colours.

I hope this is helpful, and let me know if you have anymore questions

Hi, I'm a trans man and I've just finished college and I came out when i was 14. I understand being non-binary is different, but I do have a lot of experience in binding and getting people to use your name and stuff like that.
With regards to names-it's your choice. When you're 16 (or now if you already are) you can get your name changed legally without parental consent. I would advise against this until you're 100% sure of a name, cause I changed mine in the first couple months where I was out. If you want to bind I'm assuming you want like, light-masc type of names. Things like Jamie, Luca, Taylor, Alex, Sam are all gender-neutral, but still kind of suggest masculinity if you get what I mean.

With regards to pronouns, if you really want to use any then go for it, but people will just keep using she, and because that's a female pronoun, people will still associate you with femininity/being female. Do what you want but just keep that in mind.

Wrt binding: Everyone says stuff like 'don't wear the ebay ones' and 'don't bind longer than 8 hours or sing/exercise in one'. Realistically, as long as you're sensible, you can do most of those things. The ebay binders aren't very good, they will not get you very flat but ultimately probably won't hurt you.
Singing is fine, I sing tenor in a choir and also in a band and it's generally been fine. Exercise is a bit more difficult as it does start to restrict your breathing a bit, but I'm also not the fittest person.
The best binders are GC2B and underworks. They're both in the range of £30-40 plus p&p which will vary. I've found underworks binders are very good at actually binding and getting you flat, but are a bit itchy and generally not as comfy. GC2B binders are not as great at binding but are made of a much nicer material and come in loads of colours including various skin tones, so are good if you like wearing white or lighter colours.

I hope this is helpful, and let me know if you have anymore questions

a note on binders, not backed up so by all means tell me if im wrong but ive heard from others if you wear a binder a size down you can swim(??)/exercise just fine?

About the name, I am 16 and I asked my mum about it but she kinda ignored me/said changing it with deed poll doesn't do anything as you can call yourself what you want anyways? Idk how true that is, but I'll talk to my college and when I get a job myself I'll probably look into it.

In general, true - you can start using any new name at any time for anything which doesn't require matching ID... but you would need a deed poll if you wanted it on anything official (e.g. passport, driving license).

Source: https://www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll

*is Citizens Advice adviser*

About the name, I am 16 and I asked my mum about it but she kinda ignored me/said changing it with deed poll doesn't do anything as you can call yourself what you want anyways? Idk how true that is, but I'll talk to my college and when I get a job myself I'll probably look into it. I chose Jasper, so I can keep my nickname, and its similar to my *overly feminine* name, it's more convenient for people around me. And it sounds cool. I'm into crystals. :>

I heard of GC2B and I'll check underworks, if I'm out by christmas I'll ask if i can get one then, because we are vEry low on money and it sucks - thank you for the recommendations though!

Thank you!!

You can call yourself basically what you want, but if you want your new name to be recognised by law, you need to change it by deed poll. You can do it for free and you don't need parental permission after you turn 18.
This is the one I used: https://web.archive.org/web/20161029043109/http://www.mdpryke-notary.com/2010/08/changing-name-by-deed-poll/
It can be used by anyone over the age of 16.
If you have your own bank account and card and your parents are unlikely to question you, it might be worth starting with a cheaper binder like this one:
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Transgender-Breast-Binder-corset-Strengthen-Flat-Chest-Cosplay-Vest/113815155256?hash=item1a7fe97238:m:m2hsR-NQHh05yk-uM2osqng
These generally aren't recommended and you definitely shouldn't wear it for too long both daily and as in how long you use it as a main binder, but it shouldn't hurt just for a while. Just remember to listen to your body, and try to take a break if it hurts.

Also I forgot to mention this earlier, but if you want top surgery or any kind of treatment, you need to go and get referred to a GIC ON your 17th birthday. The waiting lists are so long that by now, if you got referred to the kids one, you'd age out before they could see you, and you have to be 17 for the adult ones. If you go then, I'd expect your first appointment to be when you're about 19. (I know, it's rough).

You don't need parental permission after you turn 16 i think?
thank you, btw!

You can certainly get all the staff at your college to call you by your chosen name. At the school where I work, we have some pupils (under 16) who have informed us that they wish to be known as a different name and gender and that has been made to happen on all our documents and systems, even though in one case the parents objected.

how can u be trans AND nonbinary at the same time?

The **** is trans nonbinary

all of this is a whole load of bull****

its another term of im a retard and i like to be different

Well, nonbinary falls under trans since it's transitioning away from your birth sex. So, for me to transition, I would like to have top surgery in the future, hormones so that I dont get periods, and to socially transition I'm changing my name, and hair. Because those are the things im dysphoric about.

Something to keep in mind about testosterone is a). They don't always stop your periods (at least not always permanently) and b). They will make you look like a man. You will look male, completely male, not non binary, so it's something to keep in mind.