Den987
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What are some double standards you wish would change?
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purplpeanut
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If i want to dress up to go out with friends, or just to look good, i'm a slut. If i dress-down, because i'm in the comfort of my own home, or am drinking a beer on my front porch because i'm legal, i can be called a prude, because what kind of girl would wear that?

If i want too much sex, i'm a slut. If i don't want any sex, i'm a prude.

If i get angry and speak up about something, somehow it always revolves back to-it's her time of the month, she must be on her period.

If i'm at a bar, or out with girlfriends, always a guy will ask me out. He won't take no for an answer. Sometimes the I have a boyfriend excuse will work but half the time it doesn't. But if a guy says no to a girl in the bar, she'll leave him alone.

Because I want to be a cop, and there's the whole standard of women can be cops but they'll just be office workers, or working prostitution rings or whatnot, you're stepping into a man's world. Men get a pat on the back if they're told they want to become a cop.

maybe these aren't the double standards you were wanting, but here's what i'm hoping will change.
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lemmens
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(Original post by Den987)
What are some double standards you wish would change?
That if a white person commits a crime of violence, it’s often covered as ‘mental health’ related, or the fault of upbringing or video games or something. Whereas if a black person commits the same crime, it would often be described as ‘terrorism’ and ‘an attack on the country.’ The difference between coverage and punishments is horrendous and racist and needs to change.

Another would be the stigma around sex. If a male has sex with lots of different women, that is seen as admirable and cool and impressive. Yet for a female, she would be viewed as dirty and a slut.
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JamesManc
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I call people for having no class when I am quite classless myself
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lemmens
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(Original post by purplpeanut)
If i want to dress up to go out with friends, or just to look good, i'm a slut. If i dress-down, because i'm in the comfort of my own home, or am drinking a beer on my front porch because i'm legal, i can be called a prude, because what kind of girl would wear that?

If i want too much sex, i'm a slut. If i don't want any sex, i'm a prude.

If i get angry and speak up about something, somehow it always revolves back to-it's her time of the month, she must be on her period.

If i'm at a bar, or out with girlfriends, always a guy will ask me out. He won't take no for an answer. Sometimes the I have a boyfriend excuse will work but half the time it doesn't. But if a guy says no to a girl in the bar, she'll leave him alone.

Because I want to be a cop, and there's the whole standard of women can be cops but they'll just be office workers, or working prostitution rings or whatnot, you're stepping into a man's world. Men get a pat on the back if they're told they want to become a cop.

maybe these aren't the double standards you were wanting, but here's what i'm hoping will change.
Can 100% relate to this. It’s a reality for so many women yet has become such an integrated part of society. It needs to change but never seems to.

And the amount of times I’ll speak up and be called an ‘annoying feminist’ or ‘stupid slut’ or as trying to ‘victim myself’ is crazy.

You sound like an inspiration and with views like this, I think you’d make an amazing cop, please don’t give up on it or let this standard and anything anyone may say deter you. As a woman who loves and wants to go into science and maths, I totally get where you’re coming from.
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purplpeanut
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There's also (forgot to add in my original post) the fact that being a virgin is a double standard.

If you're a guy and you're a virgin, it's seen as weak. If you're a girl and you're a virgin it's considered pure, and chastity and you're saving yourself for marriage.

vs if you're a girl it depends on who you're talking to. If you're a girl and you say you're a virgin to a group of gal friends, they ask why you haven't had your first time yet, and they all equate their first time of sex to some of the worst pain they've ever had.
But if you talk to a guy, they talk it up as if them taking your virginity from you is the greatest gift to them.

There's also the big misconception/double standard of rape/sexual abuse/assault:
if you're wearing slutty clothes you were "asking for it."
if you're wearing clothes that are "prudish" maybe if you had stood your ground and fought them off or called out for help this wouldn't have happened
victim blaming/slut shaming
it happens to girls all the time, it can't happen to guys
LGBTQIA+ people obviously can't be raped/sexually abused/assaulted whatever do you mean? *sarcasm*
if it happens to you as a guy, you're weak.
you were lying
why didn't you come forward earlier?
you're just doing this for attention.
i couldn't help myself, you were wearing such tantalizing clothing-it's like a dog with some meat in front of it
being drunk and having sex-you just regret it the morning after. doesn't matter if you can't remember anything. it's just regrets *sarcasm*
And literally 75% of these things i've heard come out of a mouth of a story of a friend, or a friend of a friend or so on and so forth.
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purplpeanut
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(Original post by lemmens)
Can 100% relate to this. It’s a reality for so many women yet has become such an integrated part of society. It needs to change but never seems to.

And the amount of times I’ll speak up and be called an ‘annoying feminist’ or ‘stupid slut’ or as trying to ‘victim myself’ is crazy.

You sound like an inspiration and with views like this, I think you’d make an amazing cop, please don’t give up on it or let this standard and anything anyone may say deter you. As a woman who loves and wants to go into science and maths, I totally get where you’re coming from.
AWwww @lemmens thank you. As for the science and maths industry, whether it's research or out in the field you got this!~
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lemmens
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(Original post by purplpeanut)
AWwww @lemmens thank you. As for the science and maths industry, whether it's research or out in the field you got this!~
Bless you, thank you so much
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ANM775
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(Original post by purplpeanut)
If i'm at a bar, or out with girlfriends, always a guy will ask me out. He won't take no for an answer. Sometimes the I have a boyfriend excuse will work but half the time it doesn't. But if a guy says no to a girl in the bar, she'll leave him alone.

In a way It's your fault the men don't go away if you are using the bf excuse. As a collective women are to blame for this. They use the "I have a boyfriend" excuse to soft reject men. The implication when giving this excuse is that you would have gone out with him, but as you have a boyfriend your hands are tied. Most men know a lot of women lie when they say "I have a boyfriend" so they just continue anyway.

tbh, I never got a huge amount of "I have a boyfriend" excuses, but from talking to other men I know, some men seem to get it all the time. Now these men are not dumb, they know every girl out there hasn't got a boyfriend so from that they can infer they're being lied to. So they just continue on anyway as they think you can get you to give them a shot.
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by lemmens)
Can 100% relate to this. It’s a reality for so many women yet has become such an integrated part of society. It needs to change but never seems to.

And the amount of times I’ll speak up and be called an ‘annoying feminist’ or ‘stupid slut’ or as trying to ‘victim myself’ is crazy.

You sound like an inspiration and with views like this, I think you’d make an amazing cop, please don’t give up on it or let this standard and anything anyone may say deter you. As a woman who loves and wants to go into science and maths, I totally get where you’re coming from.
There are more women in science and maths than you think. But go for it. My daughter is doing a PhD in maths and does get the look sometimes when she tells people what she does.

Sometimes when men ask her she tells them in a silly voice that she is doing nail technology. Always the same response....mixture of relief and disinterest. Then she says.... only joking..... maths PhD.... look of horror and disbelief.
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lemmens
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(Original post by squeakysquirrel)
There are more women in science and maths than you think. But go for it. My daughter is doing a PhD in maths and does get the look sometimes when she tells people what she does.

Sometimes when men ask her she tells them in a silly voice that she is doing nail technology. Always the same response....mixture of relief and disinterest. Then she says.... only joking..... maths PhD.... look of horror and disbelief.
I know it’s increasing which is really great news but there just seems to be such a stigma around it and as you say, people’s reactions really show that.

I can imagine that response clearly. Intelligent women seem to be a large turn off and my experience, particularly online, is that they then try to find something negative to say which I think is due to a feeling of intimidation.

And congratulations to your daughter, that’s so impressive and you must be very proud of her!! I’m sure she’ll go on to do some great things
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