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Unsure about my sexuality - need advice

Hi, I am a 18 year old male (trans ftm) and I am in my second year of college.

Recently, a lot of my friends have been getting into relationships, meeting new people and developing crushes.

However, in some way, I feel like the odd-one-out. Obviously, as I am transgender, I am a male and it is expected that I am to like girls but I don't and have never found a female sexually/romantically attractive.

But then if I don't find females attractive, I must find males sexually/romantically attractive, right? I am not so sure.

Obviously, I can see with my own two eyes and I have seen men that are good-looking but I wouldn't go as far as to say I am sexually/romantically attracted to them.

Does this mean that I am just homosexual who isn't keen on the idea of sexual intimacy or is it something else entirely? Is there such a thing as a sexuality where someone doesn't like sexual intimacy?

Can anyone give any advice on this matter? I would greatly appreciate it.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I am a 18 year old male (trans ftm) and I am in my second year of college.

Recently, a lot of my friends have been getting into relationships, meeting new people and developing crushes.

However, in some way, I feel like the odd-one-out. Obviously, as I am transgender, I am a male and it is expected that I am to like girls but I don't and have never found a female sexually/romantically attractive.

But then if I don't find females attractive, I must find males sexually/romantically attractive, right? I am not so sure.

Obviously, I can see with my own two eyes and I have seen men that are good-looking but I wouldn't go as far as to say I am sexually/romantically attracted to them.

Does this mean that I am just homosexual who isn't keen on the idea of sexual intimacy or is it something else entirely? Is there such a thing as a sexuality where someone doesn't like sexual intimacy?

Can anyone give any advice on this matter? I would greatly appreciate it.


There's a thing called asexuality - look it up and see if you think that's you. However, don't be pressured to give yourself a label. They really don't matter. You are you, that is your label. Enjoy being yourself and who you are, labels are an unnecessary extra.
Reply 2
Original post by DrawTheLine
There's a thing called asexuality - look it up and see if you think that's you. However, don't be pressured to give yourself a label. They really don't matter. You are you, that is your label. Enjoy being yourself and who you are, labels are an unnecessary extra.

Thank you for the advice, I'l definitely look into it
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I am a 18 year old male (trans ftm) and I am in my second year of college.

Recently, a lot of my friends have been getting into relationships, meeting new people and developing crushes.

However, in some way, I feel like the odd-one-out. Obviously, as I am transgender, I am a male and it is expected that I am to like girls but I don't and have never found a female sexually/romantically attractive.

But then if I don't find females attractive, I must find males sexually/romantically attractive, right? I am not so sure.

Obviously, I can see with my own two eyes and I have seen men that are good-looking but I wouldn't go as far as to say I am sexually/romantically attracted to them.

Does this mean that I am just homosexual who isn't keen on the idea of sexual intimacy or is it something else entirely? Is there such a thing as a sexuality where someone doesn't like sexual intimacy?

Can anyone give any advice on this matter? I would greatly appreciate it.


Hold on a minute. Slow down . First thing to realise is that you don't need a label! Secondly, give yourself time and don't ever compare yourself with someone else- it only causes you to suffer!
Reply 4
Original post by mgi
Hold on a minute. Slow down . First thing to realise is that you don't need a label! Secondly, give yourself time and don't ever compare yourself with someone else- it only causes you to suffer!

YoU dOn'T nEeD a LaBeL

If OP is confused and trying to figure out who they are, the finding a label could be the lifeboat they need for a while, in a sea of WTFery.
Reply 5
Original post by Tootles
YoU dOn'T nEeD a LaBeL

If OP is confused and trying to figure out who they are, the finding a label could be the lifeboat they need for a while, in a sea of WTFery.

No. Labels do not prove anything nor do they help if you are in a hurry. Why not slow down and think. leave labels till later, there are too many of them.!
Reply 6
Original post by mgi
No. Labels do not prove anything nor do they help if you are in a hurry. Why not slow down and think. leave labels till later, there are too many of them.!

While I agree in a sense, labels are just a part of life. They came about because we need to categorize ourselves and each other, in order to understand ourselves. Exploring a label doesn't oblige you or tie you down for life.
Reply 7
Original post by Tootles
While I agree in a sense, labels are just a part of life. They came about because we need to categorize ourselves and each other, in order to understand ourselves. Exploring a label doesn't oblige you or tie you down for life.


Yes, a good point. I agree.
Aromantic asexual (often shortened to aro-ace) is the term given to people who don't experience romantic or sexual attraction to other people. For someone who experiences same sex romantic attraction but not sexual attraction, change the first word to homoromantic. Having the vocabulary might put things into perspective a little bit for you.

However, at 18 it's possible you've just not encountered someone you want that sort of relationship with yet. You may find a year or more from now that romantic and/or sexual desires will emerge.

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