What do I do?

Basically- me and my boyfriend have been going through quite a lot of bad arguments and we always work then out and it’s fine, we’ve broke up a few times because of them but always talk it out and be together it’s just the heat of the moment when we “ break up” for a day or two max. But last night my boyfriend put a photo up of him and me and all his friends decided to comment really horrible things about me, and about our relationship and it’s made me realise his friends really hate me. I never realised that they hated me, as once before we used to hang out, I used to go out with them, but suddenly it changed and the girls turned on me, and now the guys have too. My boyfriend deleted the photo of us and that hurt a lot as it’s kinda giving into what they were saying, and he said he didn’t want me reading what they said and it upsetting as he could’ve just deleted the comments. But my question really is, will this relationship work when all his friends are against me for whatever reason they have as there was never a problem before until suddenly I was never invited anywhere, I never see them, and he never posts me anymore because we’ve been up and down a lot. I just need some advice on what’ todo really? Like will it work if they hate me this much? What can I do?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

This is a toxic relationship if you always argue and break up then I’m sorry Hun but it’s not meant to be

Reply 2

yaja_jaswal

How long have you been together?

Reply 3

1582

Volunteer Team

Depends how easily he caves to peer pressure. Sounds like there's a chance he'd get fed-up with it and just end things, based on what you've said.

Or at least that's my take on it when compared to my own experience. I personally never made attempts to hide or minimise my relationship when my friends made clear they didn't like the guy I was with (and for good reason).

Reply 4

Popcorn_98

Original post by yaja_jaswal

How long have you been together?

We’ve been together for over a year now

Reply 5

Popcorn_98

Original post by sinfonietta

Thing is, I’ve tried to leave and he cries and begs me not too, and I love him too much to leave, I just know that he’s getting pressure from them and me and it’ll be too much for him to take.

Reply 6

Popcorn_98

Original post by Anonymous

This is a toxic relationship if you always argue and break up then I’m sorry Hun but it’s not meant to be

I agree that it is toxic. It used to be so good and that’s what I’m holding on too. I just need to be strong enough to leave, but if I did I just feel like his friends “ win” and I hate that more than anything

Reply 7

yaja_jaswal

Original post by Popcorn_98

We’ve been together for over a year now

A year. By now he should know how to defend you from his friends. If they're writing nasty comments about you and he knows it (seeing as he deleted the post) then he's a coward, plain and simple. Either that or he doesn't see being friends with horrible people is an issue. In any case, break up with him.

Clearly he isn't able to defend you from them, nor is he able to distance himself from them either. Not to mention you said you always fight and break up. That is not a healthy relationship, hun.

Reply 8

yaja_jaswal

Original post by Popcorn_98

Ok not a response to me but I'll chime in anyway. By staying and letting them carry on IS them winning. But so is breaking up with your bf. It won't matter either way. So do what YOU want, because at the end of the day if they're his friends you'll never see each other again.

Reply 9

Popcorn_98

Original post by yaja_jaswal

I know 100% he’s a coward for deleting the post, and he told me he messaged them to stop but obviously I don’t know if that’s true or not. But now I’ve got it in my head that if I walk away they “ win”. His friends are bad people and he’s even said it himself that he needs to distance himself from them but he doesn’t, I get why as they’re his only friends, but he’s got to fix up and look at his life but he’s just not ready todo it. I want to leave, but something is making me stay and I hate it. I’ll see him tomorrow and I’m going to talk to him about it and us, I need to think of myself now. Thanks for the advice 😊

Reply 10

yaja_jaswal

Original post by Popcorn_98

No problem, hun 😄.

Good luck x

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by Popcorn_98

You can do so much better, people change in a relationship but he has changed for the worse. For your own sanity I’d advise you to leave you can do it xx

Reply 12

Popcorn_98

Original post by Anonymous

You can do so much better, people change in a relationship but he has changed for the worse. For your own sanity I’d advise you to leave you can do it xx

I keep trying to make an excuse like the only option that matters is mine and his but then I keep thinking well he’s the reason his friends say what they say, I think you’re right , I need to get out, I will talk to him tomorrow and I think I’ll have to leave because as much as I hate his friends thinking they won, it’s what’s best for me, regardless of what irrelevant people think, thanks :smile: