My mum wants me to take back my cheating boyfriend

My ldr boyfriend well ex now ( 2 weeks since break up) slept with another girl whilst we was together. I was really hurt however not broken which is abit weird for me however my first ever boyfriend cheated and broke me into pieces so I guess I’m used to it or I’m just stronger. My recent ex boyfriend cheated on me and I found out when I went across country to visit him by finding condoms, this really did hurt me and I lost a lot of weight in 2 weeks which everyone noticed and was constantly asking me what’s wrong. When I right the pros and cons of our relationship there’s only one con which is the cheating. He was so good to me and perfect , everything I wanted in a man then boom! He cheated. We had so much to look forward to.

After 2 weeks of breakup I’m doing ok and starting to get on with my life and I’m at a stage where I hate him. Whenever I speak to my mum about it she thinks and says I should give him another chance!

This is so weird like why would my mum be saying this? This makes me second think breaking up with him.

Could I get some advice ? And experiences please. 💕💕

You sure he cheated through condoms? What if it’s for when you come over?

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

My ldr boyfriend well ex now ( 2 weeks since break up) slept with another girl whilst we was together. I was really hurt however not broken which is abit weird for me however my first ever boyfriend cheated and broke me into pieces so I guess I’m used to it or I’m just stronger. My recent ex boyfriend cheated on me and I found out when I went across country to visit him by finding condoms, this really did hurt me and I lost a lot of weight in 2 weeks which everyone noticed and was constantly asking me what’s wrong. When I right the pros and cons of our relationship there’s only one con which is the cheating. He was so good to me and perfect , everything I wanted in a man then boom! He cheated. We had so much to look forward to.

After 2 weeks of breakup I’m doing ok and starting to get on with my life and I’m at a stage where I hate him. Whenever I speak to my mum about it she thinks and says I should give him another chance!

This is so weird like why would my mum be saying this? This makes me second think breaking up with him.

Could I get some advice ? And experiences please. 💕💕

For me cheating is a big NO. Clearly he didn't respect you enough to keep his d*ck in his pants when he was across the country. It does seem weird that your mum wants you to give him another chance but I think it would be quite likely he could cheat on you again if you got back with him. Plus if you're getting over him it's better to move on and try find someone else who is a much better person.

Reply 3

tayyibshah

6

Being brutally honest: if someone cheats, let them, and leave. their lack of commitment to you shows how little they respect the relationship, and your self-respect comes first. if you let a cheater get away with it, they tend to repeat their behaviour and take advantage of your forgiveness. put yourself first

Reply 4

DrawTheLine

22

Original post by Anonymous

My ldr boyfriend well ex now ( 2 weeks since break up) slept with another girl whilst we was together. I was really hurt however not broken which is abit weird for me however my first ever boyfriend cheated and broke me into pieces so I guess I’m used to it or I’m just stronger. My recent ex boyfriend cheated on me and I found out when I went across country to visit him by finding condoms, this really did hurt me and I lost a lot of weight in 2 weeks which everyone noticed and was constantly asking me what’s wrong. When I right the pros and cons of our relationship there’s only one con which is the cheating. He was so good to me and perfect , everything I wanted in a man then boom! He cheated. We had so much to look forward to.

After 2 weeks of breakup I’m doing ok and starting to get on with my life and I’m at a stage where I hate him. Whenever I speak to my mum about it she thinks and says I should give him another chance!

This is so weird like why would my mum be saying this? This makes me second think breaking up with him.

Could I get some advice ? And experiences please. 💕💕

Keep moving on from him. He does not respect you. He does not love you. He does not care for you. If he did, he would not have cheated. You deserve someone so much better than him. If you go back to him, you will drive yourself crazy due to the lack of trust, being suspicious of him. It won't be good for your mental health. The best thing you can do is keep him in the past.

Reply 5

tayyibshah

6

Also, quick piece of advice:
Missing someone/your experiences with them is A PART of the moving-on process. Accept what's happened, accept that it's wrong and accept that you deserve better. Good luck :smile:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by PetitePanda

You sure he cheated through condoms? What if it’s for when you come over?

I found 3 in the bin opened. He admitted it to me.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by tayyibshah

Also, quick piece of advice:
Missing someone/your experiences with them is A PART of the moving-on process. Accept what's happened, accept that it's wrong and accept that you deserve better. Good luck :smile:

I know. Ugh, it’s just difficult when we have hardly had bad times but this cheating situation.

Original post by Anonymous

I found 3 in the bin opened. He admitted it to me.

Wtf tell your mum how you feel and it goes against your morals or ideas. Let your feelings out but after you let it, don’t talk about it anymore because it’ll hurt and it will make you remember so when that time happens ask your mom if she doesn’t bring him up in any situation. Don’t go out with him you did the right thing cheaters are disgusting and who knows they can always do it again but they already did it once. Move on and itll take time but it’s fine if takes that long but don’t make contact with him - block him ignore him just don’t. You did a good thing and don’t think you did the wrong thing because you didn’t.

Reply 9

Dunnig Kruger

16

Your mum does not have a clue on this. Ignore her advice on this.

You 100% did the right thing in breaking up with him.

Now go find yourself the next boyfriend.

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Maybe your mums the one he’s been cheating on you with?? Just a theory....

Reply 11

username47781

20

Original post by Anonymous

I know. Ugh, it’s just difficult when we have hardly had bad times but this cheating situation.

Is your mom feeling alright?

Reply 12

Dunnig Kruger

16

Original post by Anonymous

Maybe your mums the one he’s been cheating on you with?? Just a theory....

Now that Jeremy Kyle's gone, there's no fear of them having to take a lie detector test.

Reply 13

maiiiiii

7

People who cheat once, will usually do it again, and in my opinion don't deserve a second chance.
Just know that you deserve to be with someone who respects you and is honest with you. Just because you have been cheated on before, doesn't mean that you deserve that or that you won't find someone who won't cheat on you.
He may have seemed perfect but maybe you are now seeing another part of him.
If your mum doesn't understand maybe she has different principles than you, but don't let her convince you to get back together with him if that doesn't seem right to you. Make the decision that fits your standards and it seems like you know what that is. Maybe it helps if you can talk to someone else about this, who understands your decision better, like a friend or another family member that you trust?

Reply 14

kekedoyouloveme?

21

Original post by Anonymous

I found 3 in the bin opened. He admitted it to me.

girl cheating is a noooooo...

once a cheat, always a cheat..

And yes of course it's meant to hurt but with each day it gets less and less and to be honest, your mum should respect your decision to not go back with him, maybe she just really liked him for whatever reason, and it's unusual because mums are the type to see right through a fake person, and they're supposed to have your best interests at heart, not saying your mum doesn't that's not what I'm saying at all.. It's just peculiar as to why she wants you to get back with him. Could be that he's contacted your mum asking to help win you back? unless he's not the type of person to do that, then maybe your mum just really liked him, thought it was genuine? I'm not too sure but YOU do what YOU wanna do ignore your mum's comment, if you really don't want to be with him fair enough choice, that's respectable.

Reply 15

Rakas21

21

Original post by Anonymous

My ldr boyfriend well ex now ( 2 weeks since break up) slept with another girl whilst we was together. I was really hurt however not broken which is abit weird for me however my first ever boyfriend cheated and broke me into pieces so I guess I’m used to it or I’m just stronger. My recent ex boyfriend cheated on me and I found out when I went across country to visit him by finding condoms, this really did hurt me and I lost a lot of weight in 2 weeks which everyone noticed and was constantly asking me what’s wrong. When I right the pros and cons of our relationship there’s only one con which is the cheating. He was so good to me and perfect , everything I wanted in a man then boom! He cheated. We had so much to look forward to.

After 2 weeks of breakup I’m doing ok and starting to get on with my life and I’m at a stage where I hate him. Whenever I speak to my mum about it she thinks and says I should give him another chance!

This is so weird like why would my mum be saying this? This makes me second think breaking up with him.

Could I get some advice ? And experiences please. 💕💕

1) Long Distance almost never works

2) Your mother is suggesting weakness.

Your boyfriend has committed an act of disloyalty demonstrating an inferior trait relative to other potential partners, he then compounded this with an act of dishonor through deceiving you (it sounds like he would not have said anything if you had not seen them), a further demonstration of inferiority.

Your boyfriend is a poor emotional investment and your mother is providing you poor advise (perhaps because she has been cheated on and forgave the act). You can do better, write him off.

Reply 16

Adz2042

18

it's your life, not your mum's. you do you.
yes, she'll be upset, but don't take back a cheater.

Reply 17

Miaaa_wolf

11

I would forgive him for my own sake, not for his. It's a way for you to let go of what was done, and move on with your life.

But get back together after he cheated? f*ck no.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 18

OfficialPxnther

3

Original post by Anonymous

My ldr boyfriend well ex now ( 2 weeks since break up) slept with another girl whilst we was together. I was really hurt however not broken which is abit weird for me however my first ever boyfriend cheated and broke me into pieces so I guess I’m used to it or I’m just stronger. My recent ex boyfriend cheated on me and I found out when I went across country to visit him by finding condoms, this really did hurt me and I lost a lot of weight in 2 weeks which everyone noticed and was constantly asking me what’s wrong. When I right the pros and cons of our relationship there’s only one con which is the cheating. He was so good to me and perfect , everything I wanted in a man then boom! He cheated. We had so much to look forward to.

After 2 weeks of breakup I’m doing ok and starting to get on with my life and I’m at a stage where I hate him. Whenever I speak to my mum about it she thinks and says I should give him another chance!

This is so weird like why would my mum be saying this? This makes me second think breaking up with him.

Could I get some advice ? And experiences please. 💕💕

yeah i'm sure he didn't mean it

Reply 19

Elorajaneamos

7

You need to have self respect for yourself and move on. Don't contact him and in no way should you give him another chance. Your mother can give you all the advice she wants, she's not the one who has to date him or go through the pain when he does it again (which he will). You say it's the only bad thing he did, but the thing is, cheating is a pretty big thing. He so easily forgot about you when he decided to cheat. Decided to. He made that decision. No-one else made it for him. If you take him back he's only going to do it again because why wouldn't he? You'd have forgiven him once and you'd end up forgiving him again...and again. Forgive him, sure. If you need to do that to move past this, then forgive him. But don't get back with him. You deserve so much better than that. In terms of your mother, that may be what she would do but you don't have to. That's her standards.

My mum wants me to take back my cheating boyfriend

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