The Student Room Group

Big decision to make...opinions?

There was this boy I met in the Student Room. Let's call him Jamie. I live in the UK. Quick back storytime. I dated this guy, hm let's call him Adam. He lived in Liverpool I live near Edinburgh so, about a 4-hour car drive, we were dealing for 8 months with the distance, met up once (had our first kiss and everything) he was my first boyfriend.

That was 5 months ago...

Now Jamie. Who I started speaking to 3 weeks ago, fell for me when he only wanted to help me get through this breakup...still, not over Adam. He said I love u to me, bearing in mind we've only known each other for 3 weeks. He was making me so happy. He was! But now...I've realised I don't feel the same about him cause Adam keeps getting in the way of me falling for someone. Cause well I can't move on from my first.

Jamie wants me to decide if he should wait for me or not...

He's....he lives in India. I barely survived the distance with Adam. I cried whenever I wanted a hug but he was a train away, Jamie is a plane and a car drive away. Like...how do I cope with that?

He's nice yes, but there are flaws about him that put me right off. Like he's 19 (I'm 17), drinks, get's drunk regularly, smokes every day, panic attacks etc. So...

Annddd he's made me cry twice already.

What do I do? Tell him to wait for me? Or just end it and lose a friend. Like ****, I have no romantic feelings for this guy
Tbh I think you should try meeting guys in real life and not speaking to randoms you find on the internet. Last thing you need is another ldr, leave him. Especially considering you don't like him at all when he supposedly loves you (which I don't understand? He's never seen you?) Lol anyway, I know its hard getting over your first but I think its unfair stringing him along like this, he sounds a bit off to me anyway, things aren't adding up. :smile: hope this helps
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Tbh I think you should try meeting guys in real life and not speaking to randoms you find on the internet. Last thing you need is another ldr, leave him. Especially considering you don't like him at all when he supposedly loves you (which I don't understand? He's never seen you?) Lol anyway, I know its hard getting over your first but I think its unfair stringing him along like this, he sounds a bit off to me anyway, things aren't adding up. :smile: hope this helps


Exactly what all my friends are saying!!! Things are so off about this guy, and I totally agree I need to meet him. My first was LDR but I met him for a week before we dated.

I don't understand how he can love me so much either in this small space of time. He even wants to move to the UK....really really odd
Original post by Anonymous
Exactly what all my friends are saying!!! Things are so off about this guy, and I totally agree I need to meet him. My first was LDR but I met him for a week before we dated.

I don't understand how he can love me so much either in this small space of time. He even wants to move to the UK....really really odd

No I wouldn't arrange to meet him, from what you are saying he sounds very strange. Are you going to leave him do you think? Have you spoken to a lot of friends because they might give better advice than me lol, just going with my gut here :smile:
Your lucky that you have friends to give you advice, I lost quite a lot of my friends while dating my bf.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Your lucky that you have friends to give you advice, I lost quite a lot of my friends while dating my bf.

Oh trust me, me too. Lot's most of mine. Had to fight for them back, found new ones on the way of my heartbreak
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
No I wouldn't arrange to meet him, from what you are saying he sounds very strange. Are you going to leave him do you think? Have you spoken to a lot of friends because they might give better advice than me lol, just going with my gut here :smile:

I'm going to get to know him a little more, but thank you so so much for helping! :smile: definitely helping! He does...
Original post by Anonymous
Oh trust me, me too. Lot's most of mine. Had to fight for them back, found new ones on the way of my heartbreak


Original post by Anonymous
I'm going to get to know him a little more, but thank you so so much for helping! :smile: definitely helping! He does...

If you don't mind me asking, how did you fight for your friends back? I had one friend that I went to school with but now I've left for uni and we've kind of lost touch a bit, she didn't really like my ex very much but tbh she was right, should have listened to her :frown: Feel like its my fault. Anyway good luck with jamie and don't do anything your uncomfortable with.
I say this in the nicest possible way, but you need a proper boyfriend. This Jamie sounds like an absolute nightmare, and the situation with Adam not much better.

He's in India. At your age, you need someone who you can go out with and have fun. If you want to be friends with this guy then that's up to you, but tbh given he's already made you cry twice, and is in India, I would cut your losses and run - even if that means being single for a while.
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
I say this in the nicest possible way, but you need a proper boyfriend. This Jamie sounds like an absolute nightmare, and the situation with Adam not much better.

He's in India. At your age, you need someone who you can go out with and have fun. If you want to be friends with this guy then that's up to you, but tbh given he's already made you cry twice, and is in India, I would cut your losses and run - even if that means being single for a while.

Couldn't agree more
Original post by Anonymous
If you don't mind me asking, how did you fight for your friends back? I had one friend that I went to school with but now I've left for uni and we've kind of lost touch a bit, she didn't really like my ex very much but tbh she was right, should have listened to her :frown: Feel like its my fault. Anyway good luck with jamie and don't do anything your uncomfortable with.


Oh wow sounds like my ex-friend...ahaha sorry.

She HATED him soon as we started dating, jealousy.

I just talked to them about my situation. If they were willing to stay and help, they would stay. Definitely say my TRUE friends through this process.

I definitely would text her asking how she is and asking if she would like to meet up? Say you miss her, you clearly do x

I say step up the communication. I have done that with one of my friends, now were besties and going to the same college. Through thick and thin.

And NOTHING is your fault! Don't say that x

Thanks so much :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Oh wow sounds like my ex-friend...ahaha sorry.

She HATED him soon as we started dating, jealousy.

I just talked to them about my situation. If they were willing to stay and help, they would stay. Definitely say my TRUE friends through this process.

I definitely would text her asking how she is and asking if she would like to meet up? Say you miss her, you clearly do x

I say step up the communication. I have done that with one of my friends, now were besties and going to the same college. Through thick and thin.

And NOTHING is your fault! Don't say that x

Thanks so much :smile:

Thank you! Are you sure she was jealous, maybe just looking out for you? Sometimes when you get a new bf it takes time for your friends to ajust. Have you tried talking to her about it? :smile: It's just I had the same situation with one of my friends, they didn't like my boyfriend, but I tried talking to her and she started crying because she was so upset, as it was because she felt as if I ignored her all the time as I was always on my phone talking to him, made her feel unimportant and replaceable but I didn't realise! Thats why she didn't like him. Sorry if I've overstepped, its just that sometimes the way people act isn't always why you may think, I'd try talking to her, someones always going through something you don't know about. :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you! Are you sure she was jealous, maybe just looking out for you? Sometimes when you get a new bf it takes time for your friends to ajust. Have you tried talking to her about it? :smile: It's just I had the same situation with one of my friends, they didn't like my boyfriend, but I tried talking to her and she started crying because she was so upset, as it was because she felt as if I ignored her all the time as I was always on my phone talking to him, made her feel unimportant and replaceable but I didn't realise! Thats why she didn't like him. Sorry if I've overstepped, its just that sometimes the way people act isn't always why you may think, I'd try talking to her, someones always going through something you don't know about. :smile:

That sounds like her a little bit...
I can't anymore, she hates me now for some reason, haven't talked for 2 months

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