incredibly depressed after moving to uni
I moved into accom this morning and I've spent most of my afternoon sobbing. I've never felt so isolated and lonely in my life.
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Anonymous
I moved into accom this morning and I've spent most of my afternoon sobbing. I've never felt so isolated and lonely in my life.
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
As a parent who sobbed all the wY home all I can say is it will get better. I have an empty chair and see everyone with their daughters and it’s heart breaking. However you have to move on, as a student you need to make more of an effort to make friends. Once you start your lessons you will bond! But if you can go and sit in the common room or kitchen area with either cheese and crackers, box of chocolates or biscuits. You will be amazed how many people turn up at the smell of food. I hope it works. You have a special relationship with your mum, relish it. FaceTime is fab!
listen its okay, it will be hard, because your bond seems very tight, but as days goes on it will be eaiser, just make sure you get out of the room, meet your flat mates, they are probably in the same boat as you, your allowed to cry, your allowed to feel whatever your feeling, let yourself feel it.
Remember, your mum will be so proud of you for going to uni, and while she may be sad you’re moving out, she will also be thrilled that you’re growing and starting a new chapter of your life. Try and remember that and make the most out of the experience - find your housemates and spend time with them to distract yourself, or go explore the university or the local area.
Also remember to utilise your support at uni - it’s regarded by many people as the best time to move out due to this support, so contact your personal tutor or find out if there’s some sort of welfare team you can get in contact with, as talking about your worries should help you cope. I promise it will be fine - I know moving out is really hard but I would say you’ve done the hardest part already, so keep going, distract yourself, and try and get stuck in
Also remember to utilise your support at uni - it’s regarded by many people as the best time to move out due to this support, so contact your personal tutor or find out if there’s some sort of welfare team you can get in contact with, as talking about your worries should help you cope. I promise it will be fine - I know moving out is really hard but I would say you’ve done the hardest part already, so keep going, distract yourself, and try and get stuck in
Original post by Anonymous
I moved into accom this morning and I've spent most of my afternoon sobbing. I've never felt so isolated and lonely in my life.
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
A lot of people will be feeling like this - it is completely normal. Your mum is probably equally as sad but she knows you need to move towards independence.
Try to go into the kitchen, make something to eat or drink. No need to feel you have to party ...
Have a walk around campus tomorrow and be strong; you will survive.
Everyone is like that but few are man enough to admit it
Keep busy, and start with little stuff, like propping your door open so that the adjacent students know that you’re in. It gets easier, specially when the course gets underway.
This literally could've been written by me. How I've been coping is through messaging and ringing my mum every day. I'm lucky since I'm only about an hour's drive away, so I came home on Friday for the weekend and will be going back in a few hours. Fresher's week is really isolating if you're not an outgoing person, I think. Coming home was good for me because it felt like during Fresher's, I was wearing armour that started to experience wear and tear and made me feel more vulnerable and exposed. Now that I'm back home, I'm in a new suit of armour and can face the next week.
Definitely utilise the support systems your uni has. My tutor is really nice and knows about my anxiety, so I'll be meeting with her next week to talk about things further in a 1-to-1 meeting. It was brave of you to admit this, because I know a lot of us suffer in silence. Just know that you're not alone!
Just try and hold onto the fact that we're only here for a bit and then we'll be back with our families. Christmas will be around the corner soon and then that's 2 weeks of being home. I'm going to try and make friends as well, and you can always drop me a message if you need someone to talk to.
Definitely utilise the support systems your uni has. My tutor is really nice and knows about my anxiety, so I'll be meeting with her next week to talk about things further in a 1-to-1 meeting. It was brave of you to admit this, because I know a lot of us suffer in silence. Just know that you're not alone!
Just try and hold onto the fact that we're only here for a bit and then we'll be back with our families. Christmas will be around the corner soon and then that's 2 weeks of being home. I'm going to try and make friends as well, and you can always drop me a message if you need someone to talk to.
Thank you for all of your lovely messages. This post really helped me at a dark point last night. I got talking to people on my course and floor via Facebook because face-to-face was too scary and it really helped. I'm propping my door open now and while i'm not going out drinking tonight i'm going to the predrinks in my common room just to make some connections. Still wobbly, but better.
Thank you everyone <3
Thank you everyone <3
What uni are you at??
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for all of your lovely messages. This post really helped me at a dark point last night. I got talking to people on my course and floor via Facebook because face-to-face was too scary and it really helped. I'm propping my door open now and while i'm not going out drinking tonight i'm going to the predrinks in my common room just to make some connections. Still wobbly, but better.
Thank you everyone <3
Thank you everyone <3
Great to hear! Well done for stepping out of your comfort zone, it’s the hardest thing to do but absolutely the right thing to do too. Enjoy the pre drinks and I hope you meet some nice people
Original post by sciencequestion8
What uni are you at??
Leeds
Keep us all in the loop: your honesty will be helping more people then you realise. Well done.
update- I spent most of today in my room, but decided to go into the kitchen to wash my cup and try and bump into other people, which worked. I met everyone I share a kitchen with and had a nice chat and decided to go to a welcome party with them in our common room. Ended up doing predrinks in a nearby kitchen and met even more people on my floor.
Everyone is so nice and I'm starting to understand that we're all in the same boat. I'm in bed right now instead of going out partying but I don't feel nearly as isolated as before and I'm so glad I decided to open my door to people.
Again, thank you everyone, for your kindness <3
Everyone is so nice and I'm starting to understand that we're all in the same boat. I'm in bed right now instead of going out partying but I don't feel nearly as isolated as before and I'm so glad I decided to open my door to people.
Again, thank you everyone, for your kindness <3
Original post by Anonymous
update- I spent most of today in my room, but decided to go into the kitchen to wash my cup and try and bump into other people, which worked. I met everyone I share a kitchen with and had a nice chat and decided to go to a welcome party with them in our common room. Ended up doing predrinks in a nearby kitchen and met even more people on my floor.
Everyone is so nice and I'm starting to understand that we're all in the same boat. I'm in bed right now instead of going out partying but I don't feel nearly as isolated as before and I'm so glad I decided to open my door to people.
Again, thank you everyone, for your kindness <3
Everyone is so nice and I'm starting to understand that we're all in the same boat. I'm in bed right now instead of going out partying but I don't feel nearly as isolated as before and I'm so glad I decided to open my door to people.
Again, thank you everyone, for your kindness <3
Yay. Success is achieved via short-term, cumulative goals, rather than by focusing on larger and seemingly unattainable outcomes. Night.
Original post by Anonymous
I moved into accom this morning and I've spent most of my afternoon sobbing. I've never felt so isolated and lonely in my life.
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
Some people find it hard and that's OK but at some stage you'll want to make a break from Mum and it'll be tough then and so you're just postponing. What is 100% sure is that you will find it easier at Uni with people to make friends with easily and lots to keep busy with than down the line so make the most of the opportunity you have.
Also, put it in perspective what you have to face. Some people lose their parents, some people need to go into the world on their own to make money and some people dont have such loving parents. Ring her daily to begin with and ease into the flow of Uni life and you'll be fine
Original post by Anonymous
I moved into accom this morning and I've spent most of my afternoon sobbing. I've never felt so isolated and lonely in my life.
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
How’s it going now?
Original post by Anonymous
Leeds
same and i felt the exact same way for at least 2 days!! i feel a bit better now but it's difficult so i really feel you. how are you liking Leeds generally tho?
Original post by Anonymous
I moved into accom this morning and I've spent most of my afternoon sobbing. I've never felt so isolated and lonely in my life.
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
my mum is my best friend and watching her jump on a train back home without me was almost unbearable.
I sound like a child but we've been each other's support network for years and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
where do I even go from here?
Starting uni soon and I’m feeling the exact same way. I’m honestly not ready to leave at all, I’m so close with my family and the thought of leaving them just terrifies me. I also don’t drink that much, so worried I won’t ft in with my flat mates bc of that. Would you reccomend just going to pre drinks even if you don’t drink? Anyway, hope uni is going better for you
Ive been to predrinks twice now and it was lovely. I met people, played games and felt like I was socialble without having to go somewhere I wasn't comfortable.
Word of warning- if you don't like clubbing etc, don't go to all these freshers events just because other people are. You won't enjoy it.
Word of warning- if you don't like clubbing etc, don't go to all these freshers events just because other people are. You won't enjoy it.
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