The Student Room Group

The Optimal Strategy for Approaching Girls

The strategy is, in essence, a cheat code designed for those who desire to cultivate an enriching, abundant dating life in a way that promotes consummate efficiency and rigorous discipline as lifestyle staples in the quest to become a well-rounded, high value male.

2.67 hour Daygame session 4x a week:

Divide 160 min into = 100 min + 60 min
100 min = 20 approaches = 5 min per approach
60 mins = 3 min lag between each approach

20 approaches x 4 days per week = 80 total approaches in a week
80 total approaches x 4 weeks = 320 total approaches in a month

Assume an ultra conservative conversion rate of 5%:

5% of 320 = 16 number closes
5% of 16 = 0.8 yield
0.8 x 4 = 3.2 dates per month

In accordance with this systematic course of action, based on an unexaggerated rate of return, it is plausible to render 20% of the number closes actionable. While it is certainly possible to exceed the estimates presented, it is judicious to remain humble and grounded; to under promise and over deliver. In effect, all it takes is one date out of three acquired to move forward the interaction toward a lay and with whom to establish an intimate connection. In the months that follow, the process is a rinse and repeat to attract one extra girl, or more, gradually each month to add to a handsome rotation of girls long-term.

The preliminary elements required to become a force of nature who can put into effect the demands of this meticulous plan of action comprise the following:

- The ability to devise a workable schedule that enables effective timekeeping to achieve priorities of the day.
- To map out a route or central location at a set time in which the footfall is at its peak.
- A conscious effort to eliminate addictions or habits that inhibit efficacy.
- To embrace the asymmetry between acceptance and rejection, and thus establish a resounding trust that more volume increases the odds for success automatically; which, in turn, serves definitively as an emotional shock absorber for the inevitable interspersed bouts of rejection.
- An unfaltering trust in the process.
- To ingrain a mindset that reframes reality advantageously as a tacit reflection of an inner world whose foundation embodies an unapologetic conviction, a healthy sense of self-entitlement, an acute self-awareness, an outlook of pragmatism, a relentless focus on set objectives, a content disposition, and an excited curiosity for the unknown.
- A recognition that life is an inconsequential game, that its value pertains to its developmental capacity to cultivate inner depth and expansion in consciousness.
- A passion to learn about human nature and the ropes of social dynamics so as to access pure potential for the acquisition of stimulating experiences.
- A conversational template or scaffolding to ensure all essential ingredients for a stimulating exchange are utilised by means of question, assumption and observation; a textbook recall on which to fall back for consistency in quality.
- An unwavering disregard for the insecurity-paranoia fuelled assumption that one's presence, thoughts, intentions and emotions are apparent to any passersby; a recognition that it is nothing more than ego that causes an individual to think that they are anything more than a blip on a radar, anything more than the centre of their own universe.
- To satisfy adequately the needs of the body and mind to forge incremental enhancements that facilitate an unceasing upward spiral.
- A presence of mind and a beauty of spirit.

In closing, the guarantee of success in the described method pivots on the willingness to commit fully, to stick it out initially until the activity becomes habituated. A continual refinement in the ability to adeptly navigate the social interplay between comfort and attraction by means of consistency in application is not a matter of opinion; and thus serves as a definitive blow to pessimism in this respect. For while it is the blunt truth that the one gifted in the looks department can procure more opportunities from casting a wide net on a cross-section of girls, it is as equally true that a person of lesser visual appeal will procure success from a narrower pool of girls whose natural disposition is more favourable to factors pertaining to masculine essence and persona over looks. In the strategy devised above, volume is a key component for radically tapping into the odds for a connection to be realised. It is fundamentally strategised in a style that ensures bang for the buck in combination with efficiency to value time for other pursuits.

In the end, it comes down to a dual choice: either to cultivate controlled aggression and channel it into taking massive action with a reasonable, systematic plan; or to forfeit a plan in exchange for the perpetuation of an unavailing facade and a life of endless coping.

To fail the path to success is the stuff out of which riveting stories are made ultimately...

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Girls aren't statistics. If you treat them like they are, you're going to get precisely 0 dates no matter what you do.
Reply 2
Original post by sharksies
Girls aren't statistics. If you treat them like they are, you're going to get precisely 0 dates no matter what you do.


The statistical model is used to demonstrate the success output over a short span of time based on a conservative percentile.
It is not a comment on how a female is to be treated.

The system is structured to facilitate the highest chance to achieve connections with consistency in as efficient a manner possible. It allocates 5 minutes per approach to control for quality as it necessitates that a worthy impression is made for a potential relationship to ensue.

An objection to a large quantity of approaches is an unwitting advocation for procuring success in the opposite fashion to the illustrated method; namely, to get less connections with lesser consistency over a far longer span of time. Take seriously into consideration the uncertainty that circumstance, personality or perception of a girl presents in making or breaking a connection immediately or over time, in combination with the fact that there are more no's than yes's in the dating game, and it is patently clear that greater volume of approaches ensures the odds are stacked in one's favour.
(edited 4 years ago)
What on earthhhhh :rofl:
Reply 4
Original post by Polymath0
The strategy is, in essence, a cheat code designed for those who desire to cultivate an enriching, abundant dating life in a way that promotes consummate efficiency and rigorous discipline as lifestyle staples in the quest to become a well-rounded, high value male.

2.67 hour Daygame session 4x a week:

Divide 160 min into = 100 min + 60 min
100 min = 20 approaches = 5 min per approach
60 mins = 3 min lag between each approach

20 approaches x 4 days per week = 80 total approaches in a week
80 total approaches x 4 weeks = 320 total approaches in a month

Assume an ultra conservative conversion rate of 5%:

5% of 320 = 16 number closes
5% of 16 = 0.8 yield
0.8 x 4 = 3.2 dates per month

In accordance with this systematic course of action, based on an unexaggerated rate of return, it is plausible to render 20% of the number closes actionable. While it is certainly possible to exceed the estimates presented, it is judicious to remain humble and grounded; to under promise and over deliver. In effect, all it takes is one date out of three acquired to move forward the interaction toward a lay and with whom to establish an intimate connection. In the months that follow, the process is a rinse and repeat to attract one extra girl, or more, gradually each month to add to a handsome rotation of girls long-term.

The preliminary elements required to become a force of nature who can put into effect the demands of this meticulous plan of action comprise the following:

- The ability to devise a workable schedule that enables effective timekeeping to achieve priorities of the day.
- To map out a route or central location at a set time in which the footfall is at its peak.
- A conscious effort to eliminate addictions or habits that inhibit efficacy.
- To embrace the asymmetry between acceptance and rejection, and thus establish a resounding trust that more volume increases the odds for success automatically; which, in turn, serves definitively as an emotional shock absorber for the inevitable interspersed bouts of rejection.
- An unfaltering trust in the process.
- To ingrain a mindset that reframes reality advantageously as a tacit reflection of an inner world whose foundation embodies an unapologetic conviction, a healthy sense of self-entitlement, an acute self-awareness, an outlook of pragmatism, a relentless focus on set objectives, a content disposition, and an excited curiosity for the unknown.
- A recognition that life is an inconsequential game, that its value pertains to its developmental capacity to cultivate inner depth and expansion in consciousness.
- A passion to learn about human nature and the ropes of social dynamics so as to access pure potential for the acquisition of stimulating experiences.
- A conversational template or scaffolding to ensure all essential ingredients for a stimulating exchange are utilised by means of question, assumption and observation; a textbook recall on which to fall back for consistency in quality.
- An unwavering disregard for the insecurity-paranoia fuelled assumption that one's presence, thoughts, intentions and emotions are apparent to any passersby; a recognition that it is nothing more than ego that causes an individual to think that they are anything more than a blip on a radar, anything more than the centre of their own universe.
- To satisfy adequately the needs of the body and mind to forge incremental enhancements that facilitate an unceasing upward spiral.
- A presence of mind and a beauty of spirit.

In closing, the guarantee of success in the described method pivots on the willingness to commit fully, to stick it out initially until the activity becomes habituated. A continual refinement in the ability to adeptly navigate the social interplay between comfort and attraction by means of consistency in application is not a matter of opinion; and thus serves as a definitive blow to pessimism in this respect. For while it is the blunt truth that the one gifted in the looks department can procure more opportunities from casting a wide net on a cross-section of girls, it is as equally true that a person of lesser visual appeal will procure success from a narrower pool of girls whose natural disposition is more favourable to factors pertaining to masculine essence and persona over looks. In the strategy devised above, volume is a key component for radically tapping into the odds for a connection to be realised. It is fundamentally strategised in a style that ensures bang for the buck in combination with efficiency to value time for other pursuits.

In the end, it comes down to a dual choice: either to cultivate controlled aggression and channel it into taking massive action with a reasonable, systematic plan; or to forfeit a plan in exchange for the perpetuation of an unavailing facade and a life of endless coping.

To fail the path to success is the stuff out of which riveting stories are made ultimately...


It seems like you've put a lot of thought into this. Good that you are using your grey matter and trying to think strategically.

I would say that your conversion rates are conservative, but argubably realistic in a place with picky women like London. You'd be able to get your 320 approaches done in a big place like London if you moved around somewhat, however in a town or perhaps smaller city you would most likely run into problems of burning through all the stock of attractive women. finding 320 age appropriate, attractive women is no easy task. You'd end up approaching women you've approached before several times and getting a local reputation as "that guy".

Also most men are not able to approach 320 women in such as short period of time. Maybe if he's a brown man from the middle east area he can [those guys have no feelings and can approach like machines], but your typical brit is not able to approach this much women and incur all that rejection in a short space of time. That is reality. That's 316/317 rejections just to get to the date stage. Who here has been glutten enought to take this kind of rejection in such a small space of time?


Personally, having done the whole cold approach thing and have it not yield anything at all apart from a lot of rejection, flaky phone numbers and girls backing out of dates ... I would reccomend trying something differant.

eg: - only approaching girls who check you out.
- only approach girls who you know you will bump into again organically to combat flaking and build a connection[eg: girl who gets the bus as same spot/time everyday],
- or targeting that girl who works in asda who you'll know you bump into again.
- only approach girls who smile at you unsolicited [not every girl is just doing it to be "polite", trust me..]

[all these things will cut down on your potential targets and give you less options, however the success rate will be noticeably increased]
I mean can you imagine approaching 320 girls who checked you out and only getting a mere 3.2 dates? I can't.
but if you're cold approaching that sort of crap can and does happen.

Can you imagine approaching 320 girls you know, and only getting a mere 3.2 dates? I can't.
but again, that sort of crap can and does happen with cold approaching. That's why I suggested getting to know that random bus stop girl, or girl who works in Asda.

another option is to work out at the gym to improve your looks, go to clubs ...and just see what comes your way. Might not work for everyone, but works for me sometimes. All my makeouts in clubs happened like this, whenever i approached girls i never got one. The only time i got one was when the girls approached me.

These are viable alternatives to cold approach.

This post is getting too long, I may perhaps make another later......



Overall, I would say good post. It shows you are thinking, however there are some flaws there imo
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 5
Ok, one small addition i'm gonna make.

I did get a makeout once during daygame. How you ask?
The girl actually cold approached me!

strange girl tbh, we had not even exchanged names and she was trying to invite me back to her place.

What i'm trying to say, is don't under-estimave the significance of a girl making the first move ..or showing unsolcited interest. It inceases your odds massively!
Reply 6
I can confirm that this strategy is flawed from top to bottom.
And that's because you've reduced us to statistics and much like the men who reduce us to nothing but meat, you're going to be unsuccessful with us.

Women are humans just like men. So until you men realise that, you're going to have to keep the zipper zipped.
Reply 7
God dammit OP

I thought your username looked familar after i had made my lost post so did some checking ...and last time this issue came up we argued and argued for quite a while ...lmao

I wouldn't have commented here if i had remembered
Reply 8
Original post by ANM775
Personally, having done the whole cold approach thing and have it not yield anything at all apart from a lot of rejection, flaky phone numbers and girls backing out of dates ... I would reccomend trying something differant.


The course of action recommended by you does not satisfy the objectives of the high-volume strategy. It is a self-limiting, subjective method that is inherently permission-seeking by nature and fails to yield the quality and quantity sought in a time-efficient manner. In our last conversation you confirmed that you had performed only 200 approaches over the span of a few years, an admittedly negligible amount taken into perspective, and thus your judgment on the strategy is unsound until you have satisfied anywhere near the requirements of the strategy specified. To do so, however, necessitates that you let go of the significance of rejection beyond its capacity to draw learning points for self-improvement. The whole point of this strategy is to extract as much value possible from as little amount of emotional investment practical, over a set time period, to overcome sticking points and allow the model to work its magic.

Also, I suggest that you cease using the example of the time you were approached by a girl and got a make out. Clarification had been made that this incident occurred at night in a nightlife context in which inhibitions are usually lowered considerably, and by your own admission it was an isolated event. To emphasise that one's odds are increased when a girl initiates advances is a redundancy; it is an observation that needn't be made by virtue of its self-evident nature. Moreover, it is a misplaced and useless example given that the incident occurred neither during the day nor is it a common occurrence.
Reply 9
Original post by Polymath0
The course of action recommended by you does not satisfy the objectives of the high-volume strategy. It is a self-limiting, subjective method that is inherently permission-seeking by nature and fails to yield the quality and quantity sought in a time-efficient manner. In our last conversation you confirmed that you had performed only 200 approaches over the span of a few years, an admittedly negligible amount taken into perspective, and thus your judgment on the strategy is unsound until you have satisfied anywhere near the requirements of the strategy specified. To do so, however, necessitates that you let go of the significance of rejection beyond its capacity to draw learning points for self-improvement. The whole point of this strategy is to extract as much value possible from as little amount of emotional investment practical, over a set time period, to overcome sticking points and allow the model to work its magic.

Also, I suggest that you cease using the example of the time you were approached by a girl and got a make out. Clarification had been made that this incident occurred at night in a nightlife context in which inhibitions are usually lowered considerably, and by your own admission it was an isolated event. To emphasise that one's odds are increased when a girl initiates advances is a redundancy; it is an observation that needn't be made by virtue of its self-evident nature. Moreover, it is a misplaced and useless example given that the incident occurred neither during the day nor is it a common occurrence.


Most have been at night, however the example of a makeout I highlighted in this topic occured during the day, about mid-day on a saturday in a shopping mall. Yes though, it is relatively rare. Most girls are not so forward. She verbally made her intentions crystal clear. Most girls will not do this in the daytime. If they are attracted to you they will not come upto you and verbalise it.

I will concede, that getting any sort of attention during the day is highly dependant on what you look like. I will normally get several looks during a typical week but last week I had a noticeable rash on my face ...and it was like I was inivisble to women. Just blank stares back when I looked at them and some of them even looked angry when I made eye contact. I suggested going to talk to women who were checking you out ..etc rather than cold approaching, but as highlighted to me last week, if you're not getting girls checking you out [or the girls doing it are unattractive or unsuitable] then this isn't going to work at all, and cold approach would probably yield better.

I do not know what you look like, nor if you typically get checked out by women you find desireable.
Really, there's no one size fits all method for dating. Some guys are so attractive that they can just post a selfie on a dating site and get women swarming them [so no need for cold approach/warm approach or anything like that], some guys can't even get a match on tinder, or a conversation with a woman on a dating site so that isn't going to work.

Cold approaching in the way you have suggested IS literally the hardest way to get anywhere with women. There's nothing [you can do in person] that produces a lower yield in terms of numbers. If you are dead set on cold approach then I would suggest aiming for girls in stores or that you see at the bus stop each day or something in order give the feel that she "knows" you and reduce the chances of flaking since you take a week or two to build rapport first rather than just pounce on her as a random guy of whom she has shown no romantic interest in whatsoever. Yes, you will have less possible targets. but you will have a better chance of success.

The typical daygame model is to approach masses of low probability targets, in the hope that one will yield.

My suggestion, is to approach much fewer targets [by only approaching her if the girl passes a certain criteria], but those will be higher probability.

I can't remember what ethnicity you was, but I think you were asian? [apologies if i'm wrong]
If you are an ethnic minority trying to date outside your race you will find it a lot harder, because a lot of those girls will simply mentally strike you off based on your race. Like for every 100 white girls an ethnic minority approaches there might only be like 40 girls who would "consider it" and doesn't rule out your ethnicity on princible, but only 20ish girls he truely has a shot at [and that's assuming all 100 are single]. By waiting for a sign a woman finds you attractive before approaching, you are much more likely to be approaching girls you actually have a shot at, whereas with cold approaching most of the girls you are hitting on have ruled you out even before you open your mouth because you are the wrong race.

Now you can say race doesn't matter or some new age BS, but it does. An 8+ out of 10 ethnic minority male gets at minimum 3x as more rejections from white girls than a 8+ white guy [during my dating experiments]
Reply 10
Original post by -Quava-
I can confirm that this strategy is flawed from top to bottom.
And that's because you've reduced us to statistics and much like the men who reduce us to nothing but meat, you're going to be unsuccessful with us.

Women are humans just like men. So until you men realise that, you're going to have to keep the zipper zipped.

The statistics have been used to calculate the quantitative rate of success, not to measure the qualitative value of the female gender. Your objection is not anchored in logic.
Reply 11
Original post by ANM775
My suggestion, is to approach much fewer targets [by only approaching her if the girl passes a certain criteria], but those will be higher probability

Your suggestion can be incorporated in the strategy I have presented, of course. Alone, however, it is suboptimal and inefficient as it is subject to extraneous variables that curb the effectiveness of familiarity and the ability to cultivate it adequately in the first place. In the context of a bus stop there is no guarantee that the same girls will be around at exactly the same times each day, and while it is possible to figure out in the context of a retail store, still, in both cases, the probability of success is no higher than that of a street approach since basic familiarity over an extended period does not provide depth of insight into one's character or elicit emotional investment. Nor does it remove the factors relating to her relationship status or her level of attraction toward you. As such, it is a method that is subject to the same probabilities as that of high-volume cold approach except that it is objectively time-inefficient by virtue of its limited volume.

In respect to your evident hang-up about race in the context of dating, if I were to entertain your claim that an ethnic minority male is at a disadvantage relative to that of a caucasian male then it an argument against your prescribed method which would be patently inadequate, since its limited scope would needlessly stack the odds even higher against an ethnic minority. It is a strong argument for the method I have suggested, while incorporation of your method would simply be a bonus; but by no means superior an alternative. To wait for a "sign" by way of eye contact is no discernible guarantee that an indicator of interest has actually been demonstrated as there are a whole host of valid reasons as to why it may have occurred, not to mention the obvious fact that you could easily be duped into the belief that it occurred by the subjective nature of your perception. The fallacy in this method is its implication that to clock an indiscernible indicator of interest is more likely to yield success than to freely approach any girls of personal appeal; and it equally assumes by default that the girl from whom interest is indicated will be of appeal to begin with. In summary, the strategy I have proposed does not rule out your method, but most importantly does not succumb to the conspicuous drawbacks of your method alone.
Reply 12
Original post by Polymath0
Your suggestion can be incorporated in the strategy I have presented, of course. Alone, however, it is suboptimal and inefficient as it is subject to extraneous variables that curb the effectiveness of familiarity and the ability to cultivate it adequately in the first place. In the context of a bus stop there is no guarantee that the same girls will be around at exactly the same times each day, and while it is possible to figure out in the context of a retail store, still, in both cases, the probability of success is no higher than that of a street approach since basic familiarity over an extended period does not provide depth of insight into one's character or elicit emotional investment. Nor does it remove the factors relating to her relationship status or her level of attraction toward you. As such, it is a method that is subject to the same probabilities as that of high-volume cold approach except that it is objectively time-inefficient by virtue of its limited volume.

In respect to your evident hang-up about race in the context of dating, if I were to entertain your claim that an ethnic minority male is at a disadvantage relative to that of a caucasian male then it an argument against your prescribed method which would be patently inadequate, since its limited scope would needlessly stack the odds even higher against an ethnic minority. It is a strong argument for the method I have suggested, while incorporation of your method would simply be a bonus; but by no means superior an alternative. To wait for a "sign" by way of eye contact is no discernible guarantee that an indicator of interest has actually been demonstrated as there are a whole host of valid reasons as to why it may have occurred, not to mention the obvious fact that you could easily be duped into the belief that it occurred by the subjective nature of your perception. The fallacy in this method is its implication that to clock an indiscernible indicator of interest is more likely to yield success than to freely approach any girls of personal appeal; and it equally assumes by default that the girl from whom interest is indicated will be of appeal to begin with. In summary, the strategy I have proposed does not rule out your method, but most importantly does not succumb to the conspicuous drawbacks of your method alone.



You are thinking too much like a robot. If you think familarity and rapport over a period of time does not improve one's chances, you are very much mistaken. Let me ask you again. Can you imagine asking out 320 girls you know, and only getting 3 dates? This is not a rhetorical question.

People reading this thread know on an instinctive level that it would not take asking out over 100 girls they know to land a date.

By becoming a familar face and striking up a bit of rapport first [over several days] you are noticeably increasing your odds.

With bus stop approach, you would first go there during morning or after 5pm and see if you see any attractive girls who you have seen there before. I have tried doing this to see weather it was plausable, and you will see some familar faces.

I didn't get any dates from traditional cold approach. I got numbers at times. They are all flaked. Not one girl kept her word.
Now, when I went to socialising events looking for women and incorporated cold approach, and also hanging back and seeing which girls come my way I ended up asking out about 7 girls. 3 of those I met up with. 1 was definately a date.

1 in 7 strike rate

as opposed to your 1 in over 100 [propsed] approach to date strike rate.

and let me tell you something. I had enough experience to at that point to see a flake coming. and the girl I went on the date with, WOULD have ended up flaking had I cold approached her in the street. At first I could not get her to comit to a proper date [even though she initially agreed to it. I ended up having to go meet her at another event ....., before I was able to arrange a date with her [which she attended]

Having foundations in place [both being part of a large socialising group, therefore was not relient on having to get her on a "date" to see her again] saved me.

If you are seeing a girl frequently at a store or a bus stop, those foundations may also save you from a flake.

If every girl you cold approached in the street actually turned upto dates then I wouldn't be having this conversation with you as I would be in favour of your strategy. But reality is, flaking is a massive problem. And it looks like you have experienced this too as you have some conservative [but realistic] estimates in your initial post.


Also by your second paragraph by your tone it appears you are under the impression that your typical ethnic male has the same chances as your typical white male when it comes to white women. with respect, you are deluded.
I would highly suggest you do a few online dating experiments.

and with regards to waiting for a girl to show interest, in which you find appealing. I will admit, this is a drawback of the method. However the average male swipes 49% of females he finds on tinder, and the average woman swipes 15% of men. so if we take those figures and apply them to real life, i'd expect the average bloke to be open to around 49% of females who look his way. and when you put it like that, it's not so bad....
I salute you sir!
Reply 14
his optimisation is sorely lacking the "human" aspects


Yes, whilst you might get a date or two, who wants to get rejected by 300+ girls in only 1 month!. We are not robots with no emotions.
Rejection is not plesant. Especially on the scale he's proposing.

You'd need some sort of training to be able to reach that rejection threshold. No normal person has that kind of rejection HP
Original post by sharksies
Girls aren't statistics. If you treat them like they are, you're going to get precisely 0 dates no matter what you do.


Thats a little too much man I agree with shark guy
Reply 16
Original post by ANM775
You are thinking too much like a robot. If you think familarity and rapport over a period of time does not improve one's chances, you are very much mistaken. Let me ask you again. Can you imagine asking out 320 girls you know, and only getting 3 dates? This is not a rhetorical question.


The question you have asked contains a red herring. It is divorced from the context in which you have proposed for your strategy to be applied, and it is inferior to the strategy I have proposed in terms of time-efficiency and return on investment in total. First of all, there exist degrees of familiarity. To be in frequent, regular contact with a girl indicates a high degree of familiarity since it enables a deep rapport to be established. An infrequent, surface-level contact stretched out over a period of time indicates a low degree of familiarity; and it is only this level of familiarity that can be cultivated at a bus stand or at a retail store. By the time she is asked out on a date, the polite and low-investment acquaintance formerly developed on an infrequent basis will not determine the likelihood that her perception of you will be altered vis-a-vis the first time the acquaintance occurred. A girl will categorise you very quickly based on her first impression and, arguably, playing the long game strictly can cause either the window of opportunity to be lost or for her circumstance to change at a disadvantage to your goal. Second of all, unless your method entails that a strict tab is kept on the commute timing and shift pattern of a high volume of commuters and employees, to play the long game and generate a superficial degree of familiarity on an inconsistent basis is virtually guaranteed to yield a low-volume on average, whose probability of success is not superior to an indiscriminate high-volume strategy. For the reasons explained, it is a method that obtains the probability rate of a high-volume cold approach but over a much longer space of time and with a far smaller pool of opportunities. In the absence of its inclusion in the high-volume strategy, your method on its own is unreliable in terms of time, scale and its capacity for self-development.

I must clarify that the conversion rate of 5% is specifically for those who are below average in looks and least proficient skill-wise in the field of cold approach. The conversion rate will inevitably increase as the strategy accommodates a learning curve at a faster rate by virtue of the extent to which its strict observance imposes adaptation via intense repetition.

Original post by ANM775
Having foundations in place [both being part of a large socialising group, therefore was not relient on having to get her on a "date" to see her again] saved me.


That it is beneficial to have a large, regular social group has not been disputed. However, it falls outside the scope of the strategy under discussion, the purpose of which is to add a string to one's bow and maximise success for those who lead busy lives striving to be high value.

Original post by ANM775
and with regards to waiting for a girl to show interest, in which you find appealing. I will admit, this is a drawback of the method. However the average male swipes 49% of females he finds on tinder, and the average woman swipes 15% of men. so if we take those figures and apply them to real life, i'd expect the average bloke to be open to around 49% of females who look his way. and when you put it like that, it's not so bad....


The analogy is flawed because the number of swipes on a dating application far exceed the number of girls who will actually indicate interest on average, and if it is assumed that only half of the latter will be found to be appealing then arguably this strategy does not leave much to be desired at all, especially if employed in exclusion to all alternatives.
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 17
Original post by Polymath0
The question you have asked contains a red herring. It is divorced from the context in which you have proposed for your strategy to applied, and it is inferior to the strategy I have proposed in terms of time-efficiency and return on investment in total. First of all, there exist degrees of familiarity. To be in frequent, regular contact with a girl indicates a high degree of familiarity since it enables a deep rapport to be established. An infrequent, surface-level contact stretched out over a period of time indicates a low degree of familiarity; and it is only this level of familiarity that can be cultivated at a bus stand or at a retail store. By the time she is asked out on a date, the polite and low-investment acquaintance formerly developed on an infrequent basis will not determine the likelihood that her perception of you will be altered vis-a-vis the first time the acquaintance occurred. A girl will categorise you very quickly based on her first impression and, arguably, playing the long game strictly can cause either the window of opportunity to be lost or for her circumstance to change at a disadvantage to your goal. Second of all, unless your method entails that a strict tab is kept on the commute timing and shift pattern of a high volume of employees and commuters, to play the long game and generate a superficial degree of familiarity on an inconsistent basis is virtually guaranteed to yield a low-volume on average, whose probability of success is not superior to an indiscriminate high-volume strategy. For the reasons explained, it is a method that obtains the probability rate of a high-volume cold approach but over a much longer space of time and with a far smaller pool of opportunities. In the absence of its inclusion in the high-volume strategy, your method on its own is unreliable in terms of time, scale and its capacity for self-development.

I must clarify that the conversion rate of 5% is specifically for those who are below average in looks and least proficient skill-wise in the field of cold approach. The conversion rate will inevitably increase as the strategy accommodates a learning curve at a faster rate by virtue of the extent to which its strict observance imposes adaptation via intense repetition.



That it is beneficial to have a large, regular social group has not been disputed. However, it falls outside the scope of the strategy under discussion, the purpose of which is to add a string to one's bow and maximise success for those who lead busy lives striving to be high value.



The analogy is flawed because the number of swipes on a dating application far exceed the number of girls who will actually indicate interest on average, and if it is assumed that only half of the latter will be found to be appealing then arguably this strategy does not leave much to be desired at all, especially if employed in exclusion to all alternatives.



Right, I didn't plan to do this ... but it is saturday today [and if it doesn't rain] and I am prepared to go out using my method and see what it yields. I am aiming to achieve a date in under 25 approaches. any by date I mean proper date, "Instant dates" don't count!

I may come back having not approached anybody, as somedays i might not get any looks from suitable girls, or anxiety may screw me over [I have not approached for a while]. Rash on face that I mentioned last week is slightly still there as well, which may effect results.

However, all approaches made will be logged.

due to the weather getting too cold I do not know how much days i'm going to do this [may have to pick it up again next year]. I've lost some gains through inactivety in the gym and look like i barely lift now, but i always sarge in a short sleaved shirt as showing you are at least somewhat in shape brings more attention than wearing a coat/jumper [where they can't tell]. As the weather is getting colder now, it becomes harder to go out in a short sleaved shirt. Personally I find below 13 degrees or less not plesant. I'm not one of these white people who loves the cold, I hate it!
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 18
Original post by ANM775
Right, I didn't plan to do this ... but it is saturday today [and if it doesn't rain] and I am prepared to go out using my method and see what it yields. I am aiming to achieve a date in under 25 approaches. any by date I mean proper date, "Instant dates" don't count!

I may come back having not approached anybody, as somedays i might not get any looks from suitable girls, or anxiety may screw me over [I have not approached for a while]. Rash on face that I mentioned last week is slightly still there as well, which may effect results.

However, all approaches made will be logged.

due to the weather getting too cold I do not know how much days i'm going to do this [may have to pick it up again next year]. I've lost some gains through inactivety in the gym and look like i barely lift now, but i always sarge in a short sleaved shirt as showing you are at least somewhat in shape brings more attention than wearing a coat/jumper [where they can't tell]. As the weather is getting colder now, it becomes harder to go out in a short sleaved shirt. Personally I find below 13 degrees or less not plesant. I'm not one of these white people who loves the cold, I hate it!


update: went to the next town to do this as I don't like to do this sort of stuff in my home town.

Spoiler

Reply 19
Original post by ANM775
also it's much harder when you get an ioi when you're walking in opposite directions as you have about 2 seconds to approach or the oppertunity is gone.

The opportunity does not pass unless you allow it. To assume that there is only a 2-second window of opportunity after the interest has been indicated is simply a fiction of your mind; an unjustified excuse to conceal a deep-rooted anxiety that will never be resolved with your method.
Original post by ANM775
eventually out of frustration i did one unsolicited "cold approach" on a woman who looked about 22. She seemed flattered but was not interested in taking things further. The cold approach was to try and get me warmed up and shake away my anxiety. i knew cold approaching her wouldn't lead anywhere.

This approach ought to have been performed right at the start of your session. Instead you relied on an incredibly unreliable method that caused you to squander valuable time and miss out on actual opportunities. That the bulk of the indeterminate indicators of interest you received were from those of whom you considered unsuitable only vindicates one of the objections I raised concerning the effectiveness of your strategy. Until and unless you change tack you will continue to outsource your power, walk on eggshells and be a disservice to your potential always.

I recommend the following video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iyf2GSj0Nq0
Original post by ANM775
tbh, that's the nature of the beast though with warm approach. You just gotta bide your time and wait for the suitable oppertunities. Had I spent my time there doing 5-10 cold approaches instead i'm sure at most I would have ended up with a flaky phone number so I don't have any regrets.

There are major blindspots apparent in your attitude. Firstly, in this session you had encountered no suitable opportunities except one that you lost because your method did not give you the tools necessary for an approach to be performed at the drop of a hat and in different environments. It takes a combination of frequency and volume to develop the mental muscle in order for the approach anxiety to dissipate. Secondly, to expect a higher rate of overall success from a handful of girls briefly looking in your direction is wishful thinking. Its success is strictly contingent to your interpretation of the brief look being unmistaken and for there to be a large volume of suitable girls. Since these conditions barely hold on any consistent basis, the most rational conclusion to draw is that your modus operandi is profoundly suboptimal in its capacity to yield positive results in a short space of time and in its ability to give you the tools necessary to build up your sense of inner worth. To operate from a place of self-worth means that you do not need to acquire abstract permission to perform an approach. Had you approached a high volume of girls in a short space of time, at the very least you'd have developed a degree of skill. Performed on a consistent basis, the conversion rate will automatically yield better odds in a short space of time. To avoid a future repeat of this abysmal experience, the need to feel validated in order to perform an approach must be put to an end.