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Humiliated and confused

I experienced the most humiliating night of my life last week end. Let me give some background information. I’ve been seeing this girl, Reen for about 5 weeks and we have really hit it off! She walked up to me on campus one day and said hi and we have spent every spare second together ever since. Well, last Friday, I went to pick her up at her dorm to go to a club. She had more makeup than usual and her hair was made up really nice and she was as cold and hateful to me like she despised me. No smile, no warmth, no touch! Well we arrived at the club and when I parked I looked at her and said you act like you don’t want me anymore!” She immediately replied you’ll do until someone better comes along!” Holy crap! I should have just dropped her off, but we went in, I paid for the cover and her beer as usual and we found a group of her friends and we sat with them.
Now the fun part begins! She has a few and announces she was “Mo D”, her nick name for Maureen D.last name, and says she’s here to party!!! Then she says that she should sell kisses for a quarter! Well everyone thought that was outrages and hilarious! To the the disbelief of everyone, she sells a kiss to a stud across the isle. I just sat there smiling nervously! She then went up an isle of tables and sold 3 more, came back and sold one to the first guy! I just sat there!
I should have left, but I didn’t want to lose someone who had brought so much happiness to my life, so I just sat there! We stayed till closing and she said stud dude said there was an after hours party and we should follow them. Well, we got to the car and I decided to just take her home. I expected her to make dumping me official at any time, but she started being nice for the first time all night. We parked in a drop off zone at 3am to let her out. Instead we had a great make out session like nothing had ever happened! She never did tell me it was over.
Now she’s gone on a 3 day volleyball trip. She’s texted like nothing ever happened. I’m so confused because like I said, we spent every spare second together the last 5 weeks!
After thinking about it 24/7 my theory is that she was falling in love with me, but because I’m not the athlete she was used to, she was conflicted! I think she thought if she humiliated me, I would get mad and leave and conflict would be over. I don’t know!
Need advice!

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Sounds like she was playing with some type of power play, some type of open relationship where she's allowed extra Male attention but you arnt.

I'd stop be honest with yourself, desire what you want and go for it. If you are happy moving you're relationship in a more "open" direction then go for it but set guidelines be safe and enjoy yourselves. If that's not for you respect yourself and lay the law down to her, basically stop being a doormat, being a man is not to accept everything a woman does.
Reply 2
Original post by Burton Bridge
Sounds like she was playing with some type of power play, some type of open relationship where she's allowed extra Male attention but you arnt.

I'd stop be honest with yourself, desire what you want and go for it. If you are happy moving you're relationship in a more "open" direction then go for it but set guidelines be safe and enjoy yourselves. If that's not for you respect yourself and lay the law down to her, basically stop being a doormat, being a man is not to accept everything a woman does.

I don’t know! I’ve only known her for 5 weeks, she’s never been anything but sweet. Certainly no indication of an open relationship! My friends think I should run and run fast, but i have feelings for her, and I think she has for me as well.
Original post by Anonymous
I don’t know! I’ve only known her for 5 weeks, she’s never been anything but sweet. Certainly no indication of an open relationship! My friends think I should run and run fast, but i have feelings for her, and I think she has for me as well.

You're friends are right, the worlds not in favour of boys or men in relationships. Girls/women hold all the power in relationships, you cannot trust this girl with that power, you will get hurt because she is protected.

Lets just flip that story on its head, If you acted that way to her - what would if happened. So you made her drive, pay for entry drinks etc, you humiliated her with other girls in her face.

Answer, bouncers or passers by would of got involved you'd of more than likely ended up in hospital.

Get rid or come clean tell her what you want from your relationship.
.
(edited 4 years ago)
I agree with your friends. You need closure for her behaviour so expect an explanation. If she doesn’t want to tell you then you have likely set your self up to be trampled on any time she wants. You’re right I’m thinking that you should have ended the night a number of times. Don’t play this game she is insisting on playing and don’t respond to any communication until you get an explanation. Stand your ground. She’d shown you her true colour, and you will be well advised to acknowledge it.
Reply 5
Original post by Welshvisitor
I agree with your friends. You need closure for her behaviour so expect an explanation. If she doesn’t want to tell you then you have likely set your self up to be trampled on any time she wants. You’re right I’m thinking that you should have ended the night a number of times. Don’t play this game she is insisting on playing and don’t respond to any communication until you get an explanation. Stand your ground. She’d shown you her true colour, and you will be well advised to acknowledge it.

I actually asked her when she returned from her volleyball trip. I called her dorm the night she got back and her roommate said she was at a gym working with high school players. So I went down to see her. She smiled when our eyes met! We went outside to talk.
Our conversation:
Me: why did you do that?
Her: I don’t know.
Me: Well, I thought I lost you!
Her: I thought I lost you too.
Me: Well, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you because I think I love you!
Her: I think I love you too!

So, we are in love and everything is absolutely wonderful!!! Thing is, I don’t know if she is capable of doing something like this again!
Original post by Anonymous
I actually asked her when she returned from her volleyball trip. I called her dorm the night she got back and her roommate said she was at a gym working with high school players. So I went down to see her. She smiled when our eyes met! We went outside to talk.
Our conversation:
Me: why did you do that?
Her: I don’t know.
Me: Well, I thought I lost you!
Her: I thought I lost you too.
Me: Well, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you because I think I love you!
Her: I think I love you too!

So, we are in love and everything is absolutely wonderful!!! Thing is, I don’t know if she is capable of doing something like this again!


I don’t like to rain on your parade really, but I’ll dare a response: “I don’t know” - you didn’t get an answer, also she certainly is capable, but I hope she doesn’t. Good luck 😉
Reply 7
Original post by Welshvisitor
I don’t like to rain on your parade really, but I’ll dare a response: “I don’t know” - you didn’t get an answer, also she certainly is capable, but I hope she doesn’t. Good luck 😉

Thanks. I let it go after she said she loved me!!! Everything has been wonderful this week!! Seriously I’m just happy I didn’t lose her last week end. I’ll talk to her again soon to see what was going on in her head. That came out of nowhere, so I don’t know if she is capable of doing it again.
Original post by Anonymous
I experienced the most humiliating night of my life last week end. Let me give some background information. I’ve been seeing this girl, Reen for about 5 weeks and we have really hit it off! She walked up to me on campus one day and said hi and we have spent every spare second together ever since. Well, last Friday, I went to pick her up at her dorm to go to a club. She had more makeup than usual and her hair was made up really nice and she was as cold and hateful to me like she despised me. No smile, no warmth, no touch! Well we arrived at the club and when I parked I looked at her and said you act like you don’t want me anymore!” She immediately replied you’ll do until someone better comes along!” Holy crap! I should have just dropped her off, but we went in, I paid for the cover and her beer as usual and we found a group of her friends and we sat with them.
Now the fun part begins! She has a few and announces she was “Mo D”, her nick name for Maureen D.last name, and says she’s here to party!!! Then she says that she should sell kisses for a quarter! Well everyone thought that was outrages and hilarious! To the the disbelief of everyone, she sells a kiss to a stud across the isle. I just sat there smiling nervously! She then went up an isle of tables and sold 3 more, came back and sold one to the first guy! I just sat there!
I should have left, but I didn’t want to lose someone who had brought so much happiness to my life, so I just sat there! We stayed till closing and she said stud dude said there was an after hours party and we should follow them. Well, we got to the car and I decided to just take her home. I expected her to make dumping me official at any time, but she started being nice for the first time all night. We parked in a drop off zone at 3am to let her out. Instead we had a great make out session like nothing had ever happened! She never did tell me it was over.
Now she’s gone on a 3 day volleyball trip. She’s texted like nothing ever happened. I’m so confused because like I said, we spent every spare second together the last 5 weeks!
After thinking about it 24/7 my theory is that she was falling in love with me, but because I’m not the athlete she was used to, she was conflicted! I think she thought if she humiliated me, I would get mad and leave and conflict would be over. I don’t know!
Need advice!

You seem like a bottom so she probably wanted to take advantage of that. Just break up with her man, she's manipulative and if you were expecting her to dump you, you might as well do it first
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
You seem like a bottom so she probably wanted to take advantage of that. Just break up with her man, she's manipulative and if you were expecting her to dump you, you might as well do it first

What does that mean “I seem like a bottom”?
Original post by Anonymous
What does that mean “I seem like a bottom”?

eh, it means you seem submissive or passive, and your girl's taking advantage of that
Original post by Anonymous
eh, it means you seem submissive or passive, and your girl's taking advantage of that

No, I’m not like that at all though I see how you might think so. I’ve talked to friends and I’m going to tell her to explain all that sh*t she did the other night and let her know that the relationship is now different and that I’m not sure if it’s over or not....depends on a lot of things including me just wanting to starting over! See how she reacts!
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks. I let it go after she said she loved me!!! Everything has been wonderful this week!! Seriously I’m just happy I didn’t lose her last week end. I’ll talk to her again soon to see what was going on in her head. That came out of nowhere, so I don’t know if she is capable of doing it again.

Only you can decide but don’t be a pushover
See if it happens again.
Look carefully at what you’ve written. She behaved appallingly, humiliated you. But she said she loves you. So that’s ok then?
That is not a pattern you want to fall into.
If it happens often then it’s tantamount to an abusive relationship. She can do anything she wants because she loves you.
I’m not suggesting this right now but you should watch out for it happening again
Original post by Sammylou40
Only you can decide but don’t be a pushover
See if it happens again.
Look carefully at what you’ve written. She behaved appallingly, humiliated you. But she said she loves you. So that’s ok then?
That is not a pattern you want to fall into.
If it happens often then it’s tantamount to an abusive relationship. She can do anything she wants because she loves you.
I’m not suggesting this right now but you should watch out for it happening again

Yeah, I’ve decided to demand an answer to why she did that. Then I’m telling her the relationship is changed and that may of may not be forgiven! Time will tell how it all goes!
Things have been back to normal after that night. We committed our love to each other, and so far, she seems very sincere!!!
However, what she did was so outrages that I had to make her accountable to some extent! I sat her down yesterday and told her to explain what was going on in her head as to why she humiliated me that way. Also to let her know that if anything like that happened again, it would be the last time!!!
Well, she said that her ex b/f had done something like that to her....so she thought she should do it to me first!
WTF!!!
I actually bought it at first then I asked her what I had ever done to make her think I would ever do that to her.....she had no answer!
So I said get real and tell me why you really did it!!!
She started crying and said she loved me and didn’t to want to hurt me by telling me the truth.
She said that she was really starting to like me more than she planned to!
WTF!!!
She said I was just a guy to hang with and she really did like hanging with me, but I wasn’t the kind of guy she was expecting to end up with!
I suspected what she was about to tell me!
She said that all the guys she had relations with were athletes, she’s a volleyball player in college, so that’s the kind of guy she she would have something in common with. I’m not an athlete.
She looked back and said that the conflict made her angry because she was falling for me! So that afternoon she was chatting with a team mate and she asked her why she was hanging with that dude that wasn’t a jock(me), that she could do better!
WTF!!!
My g/f figured that she needed to end it with me before it went any further because she really was falling for me! So she just took that frustration and anger out on me!
WTF!!!
I asked why she didn’t just suggest we take a break, you know, be civil about it. She said she couldn’t get herself to do it, so her goal was to piss me off enough that I would just leave! That way she would be free and the conflict would be over! ( in case you couldn't figure it out, she’s s psychology major).
Well F**k Me!!!
That all sounds crazy!!! We ended the conversation and, again things seem better than ever before and we want to get married in a couple of years. My head is spinning!
Need advice!
Reply 15
TRASH. Bin. Don't need that. Block everywhere.
Original post by Anonymous
I experienced the most humiliating night of my life last week end. Let me give some background information. I’ve been seeing this girl, Reen for about 5 weeks and we have really hit it off! She walked up to me on campus one day and said hi and we have spent every spare second together ever since. Well, last Friday, I went to pick her up at her dorm to go to a club. She had more makeup than usual and her hair was made up really nice and she was as cold and hateful to me like she despised me. No smile, no warmth, no touch! Well we arrived at the club and when I parked I looked at her and said you act like you don’t want me anymore!” She immediately replied you’ll do until someone better comes along!” Holy crap! I should have just dropped her off, but we went in, I paid for the cover and her beer as usual and we found a group of her friends and we sat with them.
Now the fun part begins! She has a few and announces she was “Mo D”, her nick name for Maureen D.last name, and says she’s here to party!!! Then she says that she should sell kisses for a quarter! Well everyone thought that was outrages and hilarious! To the the disbelief of everyone, she sells a kiss to a stud across the isle. I just sat there smiling nervously! She then went up an isle of tables and sold 3 more, came back and sold one to the first guy! I just sat there!
I should have left, but I didn’t want to lose someone who had brought so much happiness to my life, so I just sat there! We stayed till closing and she said stud dude said there was an after hours party and we should follow them. Well, we got to the car and I decided to just take her home. I expected her to make dumping me official at any time, but she started being nice for the first time all night. We parked in a drop off zone at 3am to let her out. Instead we had a great make out session like nothing had ever happened! She never did tell me it was over.
Now she’s gone on a 3 day volleyball trip. She’s texted like nothing ever happened. I’m so confused because like I said, we spent every spare second together the last 5 weeks!
After thinking about it 24/7 my theory is that she was falling in love with me, but because I’m not the athlete she was used to, she was conflicted! I think she thought if she humiliated me, I would get mad and leave and conflict would be over. I don’t know!
Need advice!


Dump her ass!
Original post by Anonymous
Things have been back to normal after that night. We committed our love to each other, and so far, she seems very sincere!!!
However, what she did was so outrages that I had to make her accountable to some extent! I sat her down yesterday and told her to explain what was going on in her head as to why she humiliated me that way. Also to let her know that if anything like that happened again, it would be the last time!!!
Well, she said that her ex b/f had done something like that to her....so she thought she should do it to me first!
WTF!!!
I actually bought it at first then I asked her what I had ever done to make her think I would ever do that to her.....she had no answer!
So I said get real and tell me why you really did it!!!
She started crying and said she loved me and didn’t to want to hurt me by telling me the truth.
She said that she was really starting to like me more than she planned to!
WTF!!!
She said I was just a guy to hang with and she really did like hanging with me, but I wasn’t the kind of guy she was expecting to end up with!
I suspected what she was about to tell me!
She said that all the guys she had relations with were athletes, she’s a volleyball player in college, so that’s the kind of guy she she would have something in common with. I’m not an athlete.
She looked back and said that the conflict made her angry because she was falling for me! So that afternoon she was chatting with a team mate and she asked her why she was hanging with that dude that wasn’t a jock(me), that she could do better!
WTF!!!
My g/f figured that she needed to end it with me before it went any further because she really was falling for me! So she just took that frustration and anger out on me!
WTF!!!
I asked why she didn’t just suggest we take a break, you know, be civil about it. She said she couldn’t get herself to do it, so her goal was to piss me off enough that I would just leave! That way she would be free and the conflict would be over! ( in case you couldn't figure it out, she’s s psychology major).
Well F**k Me!!!
That all sounds crazy!!! We ended the conversation and, again things seem better than ever before and we want to get married in a couple of years. My head is spinning!
Need advice!


And in a couple of years when you're married, the athlete she is use to will come along and she'll sleep with him. Then she'll say 'I love you' and everything will be okay again. She may have some sort of feeling for you but she'll always want the athlete type and this will happen again or worse. Stop doing this to yourself and being a pushover.
Original post by Anonymous
Things have been back to normal after that night. We committed our love to each other, and so far, she seems very sincere!!!
However, what she did was so outrages that I had to make her accountable to some extent! I sat her down yesterday and told her to explain what was going on in her head as to why she humiliated me that way. Also to let her know that if anything like that happened again, it would be the last time!!!
Well, she said that her ex b/f had done something like that to her....so she thought she should do it to me first!
WTF!!!
I actually bought it at first then I asked her what I had ever done to make her think I would ever do that to her.....she had no answer!
So I said get real and tell me why you really did it!!!
She started crying and said she loved me and didn’t to want to hurt me by telling me the truth.
She said that she was really starting to like me more than she planned to!
WTF!!!
She said I was just a guy to hang with and she really did like hanging with me, but I wasn’t the kind of guy she was expecting to end up with!
I suspected what she was about to tell me!
She said that all the guys she had relations with were athletes, she’s a volleyball player in college, so that’s the kind of guy she she would have something in common with. I’m not an athlete.
She looked back and said that the conflict made her angry because she was falling for me! So that afternoon she was chatting with a team mate and she asked her why she was hanging with that dude that wasn’t a jock(me), that she could do better!
WTF!!!
My g/f figured that she needed to end it with me before it went any further because she really was falling for me! So she just took that frustration and anger out on me!
WTF!!!
I asked why she didn’t just suggest we take a break, you know, be civil about it. She said she couldn’t get herself to do it, so her goal was to piss me off enough that I would just leave! That way she would be free and the conflict would be over! ( in case you couldn't figure it out, she’s s psychology major).
Well F**k Me!!!
That all sounds crazy!!! We ended the conversation and, again things seem better than ever before and we want to get married in a couple of years. My head is spinning!
Need advice!

Please just leave her, she will break your heart. I hate girls like that, who just use people for their benefit.
You can give her a second chance if you want but be careful. And why on Earth are you talking about marriage after 5 weeks!

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