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Girlfriend got me naked in front of her friends

The title makes the situation worse than it sounds, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable.

My girlfriend is Dutch and we recently went over to the Netherlands to meet her parents and friends. The trip on the whole was great except for one afternoon when my gf suggested we went to a Sauna and meet some of her friends. I was obviously totally up for that and met her friends at the the sauna. Unfortunately for me, I didn't realise until we got to the changing rooms, that at Dutch Sauna's everyone gets their kit off (I ignorantly thought this only happened in the Scandinavian countries).

All of a sudden my girlfriend and two of her friends I had only just met her completely in the buff. I felt so awkward, but didn't want to cause an issue with my gf so got undressed too. The four of us then spent an hour in the sauna. While nothing "bad" happened, I just felt so self-conscious about myself rather than relaxing. For example, all of them were 'smooth' in the downstairs department, unlike my myself and I would be thinking "Oh god, what must they think of me!"

I know most people will think I'm just being silly, but I really found the whole experience awkward. We're back in the UK, so we won't be going to any type of saunas like that for a while, so I don't know whether I should just keep it to myself or mention it to her.

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Have you explained to her how you felt about it and that it would've been nice for some warning? Maybe also that in future you'd rather not

OP

Original post by AzureCeleste

Have you explained to her how you felt about it and that it would've been nice for some warning? Maybe also that in future you'd rather not

I haven't and I'm worried that it might cause an argument with her. I guess she probably didn't think about it as this is normal for her in the Netherlands.

I didn't feel like I was being objectified or anything like that, I guess I felt irrational jealously that her friends were getting to look at my girlfriends body as well.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I have been to Dutch spas and it is perfectly normal (as at German and Belgian ones- I have even met a former Prime Minister in one). I think it is the most comfortable way to have a sauna.

It's good to be taken outside of your comfort zone from time to time.

Original post by Anonymous

I haven't and I'm worried that it might cause an argument with her. I guess she probably didn't think about it as this is normal for her in the Netherlands.

I didn't feel like I was being objectified or anything like that, I guess I felt irrational jealously that her friends were getting to look at my girlfriends body as well.

Her friends were guys?
Having arguements is a part of a relationship, I don't think there will be an arguement. It's just worth speaking things through

good to openly speak to her and be honest with how the experience was from your side.
if an argument happens, just remain calm. you're just expressing how you felt the situation went.

Don't be ridiculous. Be comfortable with your body. You shouldn't care what anyone else thinks - chances are you're the one sitting awake at night, worrying about this whilst they're sleeping soundly.

I think you need to tell her. It's a cultural difference and she probably thought nothing of it and will feel terrible that you were uncomfortable. If you don't tell her you could get further misunderstandings.

If this was the other way round in terms of gender you would all be mortified.

Yikes.

:eek:

I had no idea this happened in saunas in the Netherlands or Scandinavia.
Bad luck OP and thanks for the warning.

I'd have said 'nah not doing that' lmao.
My body is sacred, holy and pure. Strangers don't get to see it :h:

:h:

Original post by londonmyst

Yikes.

:eek:

I had no idea this happened in saunas in the Netherlands or Scandinavia.
Bad luck OP and thanks for the warning.

Agreed, yikes af

As for the comment about 'smooth' ness, no-one would have cared. At least no-one with any maturity.

You should have insisted on full evening attire and told them you were British!

Original post by -Quava-

If this was the other way round in terms of gender you would all be mortified.

lol no

this is normal culture in the Netherlands and North Europe/Scandinavia, OPs girlfriend probably didn't think twice about it, yeah maybe she could have been more considerate but it's not a gender issue just a cultural one

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I'm not sure it's quite fair to say she "made" you get naked - she probably thought you knew what the spa would be like, or assumed you would voice an objection when you were there if you weren't okay with it? If you didn't feel that you could disagree with your girlfriend, there's a much bigger underlying issue here.

Original post by Anonymous

The title makes the situation worse than it sounds, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable.

My girlfriend is Dutch and we recently went over to the Netherlands to meet her parents and friends. The trip on the whole was great except for one afternoon when my gf suggested we went to a Sauna and meet some of her friends. I was obviously totally up for that and met her friends at the the sauna. Unfortunately for me, I didn't realise until we got to the changing rooms, that at Dutch Sauna's everyone gets their kit off (I ignorantly thought this only happened in the Scandinavian countries).

All of a sudden my girlfriend and two of her friends I had only just met her completely in the buff. I felt so awkward, but didn't want to cause an issue with my gf so got undressed too. The four of us then spent an hour in the sauna. While nothing "bad" happened, I just felt so self-conscious about myself rather than relaxing. For example, all of them were 'smooth' in the downstairs department, unlike my myself and I would be thinking "Oh god, what must they think of me!"

I know most people will think I'm just being silly, but I really found the whole experience awkward. We're back in the UK, so we won't be going to any type of saunas like that for a while, so I don't know whether I should just keep it to myself or mention it to her.

You are just being British, that's all. People in Europe are much less intimated by their bodies. The other girls will have forgotten all about the experience. Have a word with your girlfriend if you like about it. She will have had no idea you were embarrassed. Next time in the sauna you can always wear a bowler hat, a three piece pinstriped suit and carry a copy of the Times to display your British credentials.

karl pilkington

I don't understand are you a guy? All her friends are female the whole thing is kind of weird but maybe they treat nudity differently over there.

n̶o̶w̶ ̶i̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶i̶m̶ ̶g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶h̶o̶l̶i̶d̶a̶y̶

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