Why wouldn't you turn to teachers if you were being bullied?

This poll is closed

Why wouldn't you turn to teachers if you were being bullied?

They might tell my parents7%

They might tell the bully10%

I don't think they'd understand15%

It might lead to more bullying40%

There's nothing they could do28%

Total votes: 387

BlinkyBill

Careers Forum Helper

In a recent poll we ran on TSR, you let us know that you'd be pretty unlikely to turn to teachers for support if you were being bullied. It turned out that friends, parents and online communities would be the top three places you'd go for help.

So we just thought we'd ask - what makes you not want to turn to teachers if you were being bullied?

What are the ways you think schools/teachers could be helpful (or more helpful) if you were being bullied?

Reply 1

username2998742

Because the school would tell my parents and I really wouldn't want that.

Reply 2

username2998742

Having seen the poll, all of them tbh though

Spoiler

Reply 3

CoolCavy

Volunteer Team

When I was being bullied in my first primary school (Chinese burns, called names, play doh smudged all over my work - all of which resulted in me hiding in a bush and behind the sheds alternately during break time), the deputy head did nothing. In the end my mum took me out of that school in the south at the end of year 3, we moved up north and the rest is history :smile:

my second primary school was amazing, the teachers were awful in my first and the quality of education was so dreadful the teachers at my new school actually thought I was dyslexic because I could barely read.
My parent is my number one groupie and would do anything within their power to help me :smile:

and me them.

Reply 4

Retired_Messiah

I was bullied a bit in primary school and the teacher I told actually dealt with the problem straight away which was pretty wild. If I was bullied in secondary school I doubt I would've bothered for fear of other people in the school knowing and being weird about it. Love me some teenage insecurity.

Reply 5

gjd800

I was worried about bullying increasing.

Eventually my Ma and Da got it out of me and I pasted the bully on instruction of me aul fella. Problem solved.

Reply 6

Deyesy

Original post by BlinkyBill

Because I did it and it led to more bullying...

Informing teachers is 'good' advice but you'll find it generally has a detrimental effect.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 7

14yalamanchilig

personally if someone bullies me. I would do something to get them into lots of trouble.

Reply 8

anosmianAcrimony

How about option 6: the teacher is the bully?

Reply 9

lia_r18

I got bullied quite a lot up until year 10/11 and not once did the teachers do anything(apart from my year 6 teach who literally sat us together and told us we had to get along - which funny enough didnt really help)!

I had an argument with one of the people who was bullying me & my teacher turned around and blamed me 🙄 I ended up with a detention out of it as well...

I have however spoken to a teacher about harassment whilst in college and they dealt with that very quickly 👍

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Because in the past, when I have told my teachers or adults in school that I have been bullied...they weren't very understanding

Reply 11

BlinkyBill

Careers Forum Helper

Original post by Retired_Messiah

Haha 'pretty wild'. Good it got dealt with though! Mind me asking what they did that helped?

Original post by Deyesy

Because I did it and it led to more bullying...

Informing teachers is 'good' advice but you'll find it generally has a detrimental effect.

Do you think there's anything different a teacher could do to still support a student being bullied, but also not exacerbate the situation?

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

I was bullied severely from year 9 to year 11.

The issue was, I went to a less known state school so there were very few talented students there. So naturally, the deputy head or the other higher authorities favoured those meritorious students.

And unfortunately, the people who bullied me, were meritorious. When my parents found out I was being severely bullied, they complained to the head but nobody did anything because apparently, nobody wanted the bullies to leave the school because they're the only ones who kept the reputation of the school stable with their grades and awards and stuff.

Plus there were quite a lot of teachers who literally helped them bully me :redface:

Thank God, those times have passed. But I must admit, that I've carried these wounds with me into the present.

But I'm trying to get over them now :smile:

Reply 13

Muttley79

Original post by BlinkyBill

Do you think there's anything different a teacher could do to still support a student being bullied, but also not exacerbate the situation?

I think the 'culture' of the school is important - we have a 'no innocent bystanders' policy. If you see something and don't report it then you are also guilty - this seems to work really well and students do report and support each other.

Every school has bullies and bullying but it is how they deal with it that marks out a good school. Students and parents also appreciate this approach and we are known for strong pastoral support.

Reply 14

Gilmore Girl

Original post by Muttley79

It's so encouraging to hear this. Developing a positive school ethos and culture can really help build better interrelationships and improved behaviour. If only more schools took that approach of shared responsibility for the greater good.

Reply 15

Sabertooth

Because the teachers wouldn't do ****. I got shouted at by a teacher when I was 10 for not going to the school nurse after getting kicked in the head. Meanwhile the guys that did it faced absolutely no repercussions.

Reply 16

Deyesy

Original post by BlinkyBill

Do you think there's anything different a teacher could do to still support a student being bullied, but also not exacerbate the situation?

I had a teacher who ended up getting some of my bullies to write a letter of apology to myself which didn't help in the slightest. Later on, people were also excluded who bullied me but that just turned their friends against me and made me even more unpopular.

If they're going to help, potentially things around coping with the bullying/trying to improve self-esteem instead of trying to get the bullying to stop? I don't think trying to 'stop' the bullying is the way forward in regards to teachers.

I'd be interested to see any statistics surrounding this and how much of an affect it's having

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 17

Muttley79

Original post by Deyesy

I'd be interested to see any statistics surrounding this and how much of an affect it's having

How can we collect data do you think? Ofsted noted outstanding pastoral care and commented on the effectiveness of our policies. I can only go by what students and parents say.

I think it would be hard t prove how much difference it is making without stopping the policy which we don't want to do.

Reply 18

Retired_Messiah

Original post by BlinkyBill

Haha 'pretty wild'. Good it got dealt with though! Mind me asking what they did that helped?

1. Took it seriously
2. Said something to the other kids (I have literally no idea what)
3. Made select dudes apologise to me

Tiny primary school, head commanded a hell of a lot of respect because he was a top bloke and the kids at that school were low key all quite reasonable sensible human beings, so presuming minor threats of punishment was enough to sort em. Plus I don't think they necessarily realised they were 'bullying' me as such - I was a v sensitive kid at the time so words had more effect on me than the others.

A couple of particular kids were occasionally problematic after the fact but nothing like what it was, and they were all year above anyway so once man hit year 6 it was the real good times™

Reply 19

Rabbit2

Original post by Glaz

Having seen the poll, all of them tbh though

Spoiler

I concur. In addition, it should offer the option of "the faculty/staff would do nothing" - rather than just 'they could do nothing'. Criminal activity should always be actionable. At least, the parents should be 'sueable' by the victim and their 'rents. There is nearly always tremendous 'concern' about the thug and their 'rights' - and NO concern about the rights of the (many) victims to receive a decent education (at public expense) without thuggery. One of the 'delights' of my 'post high-school' years, was to see the local thugs languishing in 'dead-end' jobs, while i practiced engineering around the globe. IMHO, the practice should be followed of exiling troublemakers to 'boot camps' with strict discipline - liken to a 'reform school'. If they end up sweeping the streets or picking up trash for a career - so be it. They made their choices long ago. Cheers.