Should I say something to him?

This is kind of a long story because it spans over a year but I will try to condense it as much as possible. Let's call this guy T so there's no confusion. So on the first day of lectures at uni (September 2018), I noticed T was staring in my direction and thought nothing of it because I thought he may have been looking at someone else. Ever since that day, I noticed that he would always sit in the row above or below mine in lectures and just stare. I was eventually able to confirm that he was staring at me because my friends caught him doing it; also one day he sat in a row that was towards the front and kept turning his head back to face me in the middle of the lecture. Eventually, my friend, who is now close friends with him, introduces me to him so now he knows my name. What I noticed about this boy is that everywhere I turned, he just seemed to conveniently be there and he always stares but never actually says anything. For example, I went to a club and some boy was trying to chat to me and slipped his hand around my waist and even grabbed my bum. As I tried to move his hand away, I just saw T standing there in shock. Later on in the night, I then saw T whispering to one of his friends and the friend was staring at me across the room. Also, there are three separate rooms in the club but whenever I would leave one room and enter another room, five minutes later I would just see him appear. Fast forward to this September, I have not seen him all summer because we obviously had no uni. I went to Freshers Fair with my friend this year and T was there because he was running a stall. Bear in mind that the fair is run in a large building so the chance of you seeing a persons face more than once is highly unlikely. I saw T 5 times. As my friend and I were walking around, she alerted to me that he was standing in front of us but by the time I brought my head up, he was gone. He had walked further ahead and I couldn't see him. It then doesn't make sense how my friends and I end up walking at a slow pace and he ends up walking behind us 5 minutes later. And once again, there is constant staring but nothing is said. So this week in my lecture I decided to test it out to see whether it was actually a coincidence that I was seeing him everywhere. He sat in the row behind me in the lecture and I was sitting with my friend. After the lecture ended, I said to my friend "we're going to the library now" to see whether I would see him there. And guess what? 10 minutes after we entered the library, T was there with his friend. He stared at me once again but as usual, nothing was said. On top of this, T's friends are always staring at me whenever we're in the lectures or if they see me around campus or at clubs. However, there's something I forgot to mention. His friend, let's call him S, basically told me last year that I liked him and I told him that I wasn't interested.

Is it possible that T isn't saying anything to me because he knows that his friend likes me? Could it be that he's too shy to initiate conversation? Or is it that I've read too far into it and he doesn't like me at all? There are bits I haven't added to keep the story as brief as physically possible - but please help!!!

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I defo think he isn’t saying anything because you rejected his friend! But you should definitely talk to him. It sounds like he really is interested and really likes you. Maybe he’s trying to give you hints. So literally start a convo!! I’m in first year of uni and I’m going through a weird situation too. This guy purposely talks to my friends talks to everyone but me. He can blatantly see that as he’s talking introducing him to my friend I’m just there looking at him. Now you would think maybe he hates or dislikes you but honestly I’ve never said or done anything to him! I catch him from afar looking at me. Even up close he’ll start convos with his friends and when he knows I’m listening in he gets quite passionate. I don’t get what’s up with him? Is he trying to make me jealous by ignoring me? Because he makes it VERY obvious when he does so. And the funny thing is, it’s only been 3 weeks of uni so he knows zero about me, just the same way he knows nothing about all my friends. Yet they get an intro while I get iced out. Unfair right? Ngl it hurts my feelings.. anyway sorry this was about you! So yes, as I said earlier? You definitely haven’t read into it. He obviously can’t get enough of you haha! I think he likes you and I think deep inside he wishes somehow you guys could talk and that it could actually go somewhere..

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I defo think he isn’t saying anything because you rejected his friend! But you should definitely talk to him. It sounds like he really is interested and really likes you. Maybe he’s trying to give you hints. So literally start a convo!! I’m in first year of uni and I’m going through a weird situation too. This guy purposely talks to my friends talks to everyone but me. He can blatantly see that as he’s talking introducing him to my friend I’m just there looking at him. Now you would think maybe he hates or dislikes you but honestly I’ve never said or done anything to him! I catch him from afar looking at me. Even up close he’ll start convos with his friends and when he knows I’m listening in he gets quite passionate. I don’t get what’s up with him? Is he trying to make me jealous by ignoring me? Because he makes it VERY obvious when he does so. And the funny thing is, it’s only been 3 weeks of uni so he knows zero about me, just the same way he knows nothing about all my friends. Yet they get an intro while I get iced out. Unfair right? Ngl it hurts my feelings.. anyway sorry this was about you! So yes, as I said earlier? You definitely haven’t read into it. He obviously can’t get enough of you haha! I think he likes you and I think deep inside he wishes somehow you guys could talk and that it could actually go somewhere..

It DEFINITELY sounds like you're going through the same thing as me as I have the same issue of the guy talking to all of my friends except for me!!! It's just that my situation has been going on for way longer. Maybe he just gets nervous trying to approach you? I guess you only have 2 options...approach him or wait and see if he approaches you. Thank you so much for your response though, I feel like I can confirm that I'm not going crazy.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

It DEFINITELY sounds like you're going through the same thing as me as I have the same issue of the guy talking to all of my friends except for me!!! It's just that my situation has been going on for way longer. Maybe he just gets nervous trying to approach you? I guess you only have 2 options...approach him or wait and see if he approaches you. Thank you so much for your response though, I feel like I can confirm that I'm not going crazy.

I can’t even imagine going through it over and over, for as long as you did. It would drive me insane? I think it has gone on too long for you to not speak to him. But main question is, do you like him too? Do you like it when he takes the effort to look at you, or do you find it creepy? && I don’t understand why he’s nervous to approach me :frown:

he did it fine to my friends. I would never exclude anyone. If I was talking to his friends, it literally makes sense to introduce myself to him too. If you were me, would you approach him or wait for him to approach you? I have tried speaking to him once but he kinda disregarded me and focussed more than he usually would in talking to my friend like being overly forward. Almost to hurt me

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I can’t even imagine going through it over and over, for as long as you did. It would drive me insane? I think it has gone on too long for you to not speak to him. But main question is, do you like him too? Do you like it when he takes the effort to look at you, or do you find it creepy? && I don’t understand why he’s nervous to approach me :frown:

he did it fine to my friends. I would never exclude anyone. If I was talking to his friends, it literally makes sense to introduce myself to him too. If you were me, would you approach him or wait for him to approach you? I have tried speaking to him once but he kinda disregarded me and focussed more than he usually would in talking to my friend like being overly forward. Almost to hurt me

I think he's an attractive guy and from what I know about him, he seems really nice. At first, I thought it was okay for him to look at me but now it's slightly annoying because I actually want to have a conversation with him in person. + I think it's more difficult to approach someone that you like as opposed to someone you don't like which is probably why he finds it easier to have a conversation with your friends. I think I would definitely say something to him - what I didn't mention was that I have actually spoken to the guy I know before (I initiated the conversation) and we had a long conversation on snapchat. But the next time I saw him and said 'hey', he kinda disregarded me (the same way your guy did to you), he said hey back but quickly ran away but still then proceeded to stare at me later. I get how you feel when you say it hurts you, it's not the nicest feeling and he probably doesn't even understand that you feel this way. It wouldn't harm you to speak to him - I find that the best way to speak is if you're friends with one of his friends. For example, in my case, I am friends with three of T's friends so whenever I see that they are with him, I'll walk up to them and talk about the lectures then I'll direct a question at them and make T answer also because he can't avoid answering.

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

He may definitely like you!!! A year is definitely too long to wait for an answer - go for it!!

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I think he's an attractive guy and from what I know about him, he seems really nice. At first, I thought it was okay for him to look at me but now it's slightly annoying because I actually want to have a conversation with him in person. + I think it's more difficult to approach someone that you like as opposed to someone you don't like which is probably why he finds it easier to have a conversation with your friends. I think I would definitely say something to him - what I didn't mention was that I have actually spoken to the guy I know before (I initiated the conversation) and we had a long conversation on snapchat. But the next time I saw him and said 'hey', he kinda disregarded me (the same way your guy did to you), he said hey back but quickly ran away but still then proceeded to stare at me later. I get how you feel when you say it hurts you, it's not the nicest feeling and he probably doesn't even understand that you feel this way. It wouldn't harm you to speak to him - I find that the best way to speak is if you're friends with one of his friends. For example, in my case, I am friends with three of T's friends so whenever I see that they are with him, I'll walk up to them and talk about the lectures then I'll direct a question at them and make T answer also because he can't avoid answering.

I think he’s just shy -you should speak to him, you don’t wanna have any regrets. Too much has gone on to let it end in a way you never spoke. & thanks for your advice. I have tried speaking to him once like I said earlier ^ and the way he disregarded me, the thought of speaking to him again and getting the same treatment idk what I’d do then? I gave him a chance but he didn’t take it.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I think he’s just shy -you should speak to him, you don’t wanna have any regrets. Too much has gone on to let it end in a way you never spoke. & thanks for your advice. I have tried speaking to him once like I said earlier ^ and the way he disregarded me, the thought of speaking to him again and getting the same treatment idk what I’d do then? I gave him a chance but he didn’t take it.

I'd still say try again and if the same thing happens again, then just leave it. At the end of the day, you know you've made an effort to speak to him so now the ball is in his court.

Should I say something to him?

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you