Can someone help me with this please? What is she talking about?

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Anonymous #1
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Hi
I'm told today by a friend 'Although I can trust you,*I can't make things awkward. (I say 'awkward', but that's my take on it)'
She then goes on to say
' You're probably thinking 'what's wrong with this girl?'*
And honestly, I wish I had the answer to that'

I'm confused what does she mean, she sent a text so I fail to determine the tone?
She is a nice person in general and also very helpful, I do know recently she has been going through a tough time.
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Anonymous #1
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shadowdweller
VLEX
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VLEX
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Can you explain this in more detail? Not fully sure what you mean
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mgi
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Ok. She is upset and confused by somevthings it seems. Can't you message her and agree to neet up somewhere? It is easier to then get so see her body language and quickly find out what she feels and what she is going through.
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shadowdweller
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi
I'm told today by a friend 'Although I can trust you,*I can't make things awkward. (I say 'awkward', but that's my take on it)'
She then goes on to say
' You're probably thinking 'what's wrong with this girl?'*
And honestly, I wish I had the answer to that'

I'm confused what does she mean, she sent a text so I fail to determine the tone?
She is a nice person in general and also very helpful, I do know recently she has been going through a tough time.
I'm not sure I completely follow, but from what I understand, it sounds like there is something she's reluctant to tell you, but she's afraid of making things awkward between you? But that she wants to make it clear that whatever she isn't sharing, it's not because she doesn't trust you.

Obviously none of us will be able to definitively tell you what it is she's keeping secret, but perhaps it's worth reassuring her that whatever she reveals isn't going to make things awkward between you, assuming that you feel that to be the case.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by VLEX)
Can you explain this in more detail? Not fully sure what you mean
I'm sorry for not being clear.
My friend has been having a tough time recently and I know that, with her being gay and she is 18 and coming from a Catholoc family where she feels noone will accept her and she wont be able to marry who she wants.
But today she text telling me that she trusts me but cant make things awkward and that she was never gay in the first place and that her having told me was a lie (a lie she has been telling me for a year, that means)
And that 'you probably think what's wrong with this girl, but I dont have the answer to that'.

She had only told me that she was gay and not being accepted, and she came out to me last year, and I have been there to help her as much as possible but now she is saying she wished she kept things bottled and that she has been a 'fool' and has made an 'error' (I'm thinking the error is being gay, although her family are religious). Maybe she feels guilty?

I'm surprised when she says ,I'm sorry I lied, I'm not having difficulty with my sexuality- I never have'
But then she has been struggling for a YEAR!!!
SURELY she wouldn't be lying to me for a year!

Do you think she is just trying to deny her sexuality now? Seen as though it's been a year and that her family do not accept that she is gay?
But what did she mean when she said 'I trust you but dont want to make things awkward' she said that at the start of the text.

What do i say to her...
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username1539513
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi
I'm told today by a friend 'Although I can trust you,*I can't make things awkward. (I say 'awkward', but that's my take on it)'
She then goes on to say
' You're probably thinking 'what's wrong with this girl?'*
And honestly, I wish I had the answer to that'

I'm confused what does she mean, she sent a text so I fail to determine the tone?
She is a nice person in general and also very helpful, I do know recently she has been going through a tough time.
The context of the text would be a little more helpful; nonetheless it sounds like she doesn’t wish to divulge whatever it is you’re trying to get out of her
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by shadowdweller)
I'm not sure I completely follow, but from what I understand, it sounds like there is something she's reluctant to tell you, but she's afraid of making things awkward between you? But that she wants to make it clear that whatever she isn't sharing, it's not because she doesn't trust you.

Obviously none of us will be able to definitively tell you what it is she's keeping secret, but perhaps it's worth reassuring her that whatever she reveals isn't going to make things awkward between you, assuming that you feel that to be the case.
Thanks, what would you say 'awkward' is?
What in your opinions defines making something awkward?
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Anonymous #1
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The thing is I haven't asked her about anything, it was just a random text she sent me.
I know that she has been struggling with her sexuality. And that noone is accepting her at home as they are all Catholics and she has been goign though all this for a year now.
But now she tells me 'I'm sorry I lied all tht time about my sexuality'
That's not true!!!! I've seen how upset she has been about being gay! I just don't understand why now she is denying that she is gay!! And its v random!!!


Today randomly she text telling me that she trusts me but cant make things awkward and that she was never gay in the first place and that her having told me was a lie (a lie she has been telling me for a year, that means)
And that 'you probably think what's wrong with this girl, but I dont have the answer to that'.

She had only told me that she was gay and not being accepted, and she came out to me last year, and I have been there to help her as much as possible but now she is saying she wished she kept things bottled and that she has been a 'fool' and has made an 'error' (I'm thinking the error is being gay, although her family are religious). Maybe she feels guilty?

I'm surprised when she says ,I'm sorry I lied, I'm not having difficulty with my sexuality- I never have'
But then she has been struggling for a YEAR!!!
SURELY she wouldn't be lying to me for a year!

Do you think she is just trying to deny her sexuality now? Seen as though it's been a year and that her family do not accept that she is gay?
But what did she mean when she said 'I trust you but dont want to make things awkward' she said that at the start of the text.
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shadowdweller
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks, what would you say 'awkward' is?
What in your opinions defines making something awkward?
Just saw your post with more detail, so I'll comment on that instead, hope that's okay! It's really hard to say where she's coming from with her messages, in all honesty - it sounds like one of two things though. Either a) she is gay, but is in denial herself or b) she was questioning when she told you a year ago, but something has happened since to reaffirm to her in some way that she's not gay. There is also option c) that she was lying about it throughout, but to me that would be a really odd thing to lie to someone about :dontknow:

In which case, possibly the comment about awkwardness could have been in relation to her lying, or you finding out from someone else, or similar. Like I say though, I really can't say what's going through her head, this is just my best guess from what you've outlined.
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username1539513
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The thing is I haven't asked her about anything, it was just a random text she sent me.
I know that she has been struggling with her sexuality. And that noone is accepting her at home as they are all Catholics and she has been goign though all this for a year now.
But now she tells me 'I'm sorry I lied all tht time about my sexuality'
That's not true!!!! I've seen how upset she has been about being gay! I just don't understand why now she is denying that she is gay!! And its v random!!!


Today randomly she text telling me that she trusts me but cant make things awkward and that she was never gay in the first place and that her having told me was a lie (a lie she has been telling me for a year, that means)
And that 'you probably think what's wrong with this girl, but I dont have the answer to that'.

She had only told me that she was gay and not being accepted, and she came out to me last year, and I have been there to help her as much as possible but now she is saying she wished she kept things bottled and that she has been a 'fool' and has made an 'error' (I'm thinking the error is being gay, although her family are religious). Maybe she feels guilty?

I'm surprised when she says ,I'm sorry I lied, I'm not having difficulty with my sexuality- I never have'
But then she has been struggling for a YEAR!!!
SURELY she wouldn't be lying to me for a year!

Do you think she is just trying to deny her sexuality now? Seen as though it's been a year and that her family do not accept that she is gay?
But what did she mean when she said 'I trust you but dont want to make things awkward' she said that at the start of the text.
People can struggle with their sexuality for a while tbh; especially if your family isn’t accepting. It took me until I was 24 to accept the fact that I was lesbian and if you’d asked me my sexuality before that I would have told you I was straight. I wouldn’t have been lying; just in denial

As for the “I trust you but don’t want to make things awkward” this is an ambiguous phrase that nobody on here can really tell you what she means by that. It sounds like she isn’t comfortable enough around you yet
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by shadowdweller)
Just saw your post with more detail, so I'll comment on that instead, hope that's okay! It's really hard to say where she's coming from with her messages, in all honesty - it sounds like one of two things though. Either a) she is gay, but is in denial herself or b) she was questioning when she told you a year ago, but something has happened since to reaffirm to her in some way that she's not gay. There is also option c) that she was lying about it throughout, but to me that would be a really odd thing to lie to someone about :dontknow:

In which case, possibly the comment about awkwardness could have been in relation to her lying, or you finding out from someone else, or similar. Like I say though, I really can't say what's going through her head, this is just my best guess from what you've outlined.
Thank you and I really think it is a) and that she is in denial because she mentioned
'Me, Gay? It doesn't make sense. How can I be gay, I wish LGBT people were born with tags that made their identity easily visible and that way there would be no need for people to have expectations...'

So based on that I would say definitely.in denial! but how can I help because otherwise she might end up being forced with someone of the opposite sex and she will suffer!!
She also claims she made a 'tiny' error.
That error is now, her sexuality. But it's not her fault.
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shadowdweller
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you and I really think it is a) and that she is in denial because she mentioned
'Me, Gay? It doesn't make sense. How can I be gay, I wish LGBT people were born with tags that made their identity easily visible and that way there would be no need for people to have expectations...'

So based on that I would say definitely.in denial! but how can I help because otherwise she might end up being forced with someone of the opposite sex and she will suffer!!
She also claims she made a 'tiny' error.
That error is now, her sexuality. But it's not her fault.
It does sound like that is the most likely option, based on everything you've said. Personally I'd suggest just reiterating that if she is gay, then it doesn't make her a bad person (I'd usually say "then that's okay", but it sounds like that doesn't conflate well with her religious views on it?). Unfortunately there's not a great deal you can do directly, but continued support of her, and a reminder that it's not an error or an issue if she is gay, may help.
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