Help! Is this grammatically correct?

Hi I was practising some creative writing and I'm not sure this sentence is grammatically correct.

The exorbitantly priced stalls wafted an amalgamation of aromas; marvellously crafted with caramel, popcorn and candy floss.

Thanks

Reply 1

drshadowgames

6

Original post by nvijayan14

Hi I was practising some creative writing and I'm not sure this sentence is grammatically correct.

The exorbitantly priced stalls wafted an amalgamation of aromas; marvellously crafted with caramel, popcorn and candy floss.

Thanks

Looks all good to me, bar a single change [The comma after popcorn]. In my personal opinion it looks like great writing too. [I'm no english teacher tho just a student]

The exorbitantly priced stalls wafted an amalgamation of aromas; marvellously crafted with caramel, popcorn, and candy floss.

Reply 2

nvijayan14

OP

6

Original post by drshadowgames

Looks all good to me, bar a single change [The comma after popcorn]. In my personal opinion it looks like great writing too. [I'm no english teacher tho just a student]

The exorbitantly priced stalls wafted an amalgamation of aromas; marvellously crafted with caramel, popcorn, and candy floss.

Thank you

Reply 3

Davy611

12

This would be better:

From the stalls, there wafted an amalgamation of aromas: marvellously crafted caramel, creamy candy floss and exorbitantly priced popcorn.

Reply 4

nvijayan14

OP

6

Original post by Davy611

This would be better:

From the stalls, there wafted an amalgamation of aromas: marvellously crafted caramel, creamy candy floss and exorbitantly priced popcorn.

Thanks I ended up using that in my English Language exam

Reply 5

Davy611

12

Original post by nvijayan14

Thanks I ended up using that in my English Language exam

Delighted

Reply 6

drshadowgames

6

Original post by nvijayan14

Thanks I ended up using that in my English Language exam

How did it go?

Reply 7

nvijayan14

OP

6

Original post by drshadowgames

How did it go?

I found paper 2 much easier than 1 because I was aware of the texts before the exam

Reply 8

Tolgash

21

Original post by drshadowgames

Looks all good to me, bar a single change [The comma after popcorn]. In my personal opinion it looks like great writing too. [I'm no english teacher tho just a student]

The exorbitantly priced stalls wafted an amalgamation of aromas; marvellously crafted with caramel, popcorn, and candy floss.

Why does the serial comma need to be there?

Original post by nvijayan14

Hi I was practising some creative writing and I'm not sure this sentence is grammatically correct.

The exorbitantly priced stalls wafted an amalgamation of aromas; marvellously crafted with caramel, popcorn and candy floss.

Thanks

Yes, it's grammatically correct. Nice call.

However, I think the semi-colon actually separates a dependent clause. I think there might be a punctuation error (comma splice) here.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 9

username4992338

13

Original post by tolgarda

why does the serial comma need to be there?

oxford comma > anything else

Reply 10

Tolgash

21

Original post by twist-and-shout

oxford comma > anything else

I guess? I can't see any ambiguity here, but I respect the comma as people do usually pause before the final item in a syndeton.

Reply 11

username4992338

13

Original post by Tolgarda

I guess? I can't see any ambiguity here, but I respect the comma as people do usually pause before the final item in a syndeton.

Without the Oxford comma I think that there can be confusion with both clauses. Such as:

I like eggs, toast and orange juice.
I like eggs, toast, and orange juice.

The first makes it seem like the toast and orange juice are one (disgusting) combination, if you get me? Bad example lol. Couldn’t think of anything.

I feel like the only time you don’t really need it is when you have a sentence like:

I kissed him and wondered...

Because the two actions are mutual.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 12

Tolgash

21

Original post by twist-and-shout

Without the Oxford comma I think that there can be confusion with both clauses. Such as:

I like eggs, toast and orange juice.
I like eggs, toast, and orange juice.

The first makes it seem like the toast and orange juice are one (disgusting) combination, if you get me? Bad example lol. Couldn’t think of anything.

I feel like the only time you don’t really need it is when you have a sentence like:

I kissed him and wondered...

Because the two actions are mutual.

But I don't think it makes it seem like that. The co-ordinating conjunction for most readers separated the last two items in the syndeton with three items. It's very difficult to see that as a combination unless you state otherwise with more clarity to identify it as a combination (e.g. 'with orange juice' or 'the combination of...').

(edited 4 years ago)

Help! Is this grammatically correct?

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