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I can't. I want to scream.

I heard my family talking that they think I should get into a relationship with a family friend seen as though I'm nearly 20 and have not found anyone myself yet.
Problem is I'm lesbian.

My family have the wrong end of the stick, yes I speak to this family friends son when they come to my.house, but does not mean to say I'm attracted to him!

How can I go out and be sipping mocktails and all that nonsense with someone I am not attracted to?!!!! :frown:

I feel sick. I cant explain how I feel.

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Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I feel sick. I cant explain how I feel.

Now these family friends will be coming around for dinner and stuff :frown:

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I feel sick. I cant explain how I feel.

you can deny by saying that you don't like him. are you a Muslim ?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

you can deny by saying that you don't like him. are you a Muslim ?

Yes I'm a Muslim. A proud Muslim.

I'm so loyal, I can't hurt my parents :frown:

I'm so stupid. I don't think about myself, I always think about others when I shouldn't!!
If I say I dont like him, theyll find me others to get into a relationship with... and I can't keep rejecting them all, if I do my parents will probably disown me and know the truth that I dnt want to marry!!

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I'm a Muslim. A proud Muslim.

I'm so loyal, I can't hurt my parents :frown:

You have other options such as finding a gay Muslim boy and being each others' cover-up. A friend I know did this and they both have partners and didn't have to go through the rejection from the Muslim community even though it takes a lot of effort and dedication. The other option you have is to ultimately come out and depending on how religious your family is this may cause a lot of heartaches

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I have tried to come out soooo many times. They just don't 'get it'. Wen I have told my sisters and my mom they just end up laughing. And then when I be serious and tell them I'm really not attracted to men, I'm told I'm being stupid and that my feelings will change.

I get called names like 'lezza' and things by my siblings.
They are all in denial. My dad is the who I've never told. He wont get it either.
Everyone thinks it's a phase and that I'm being immature!!
I've tried to explain that I understand islam does not accept homosexuality so I just want to stay single but I'm told I cant stay single because I'll be lonely :frown:

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I'm a Muslim. A proud Muslim.

I'm so loyal, I can't hurt my parents :frown:

do you have any relationship with a girl? i went through this too and decided to be single forever. if your parents are saying just listen to them and carry on your relationship. you might find it cool ? if no, just let everybody know then. Don't be hard on yourself, just try it.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I'm a Muslim. A proud Muslim.

I'm so loyal, I can't hurt my parents :frown:

and if they disown you. let me know, you can spend rest of your life with me 😁

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

No I understand Islam does not accept homosexuality so this is why I restrain my feelings and do not have nk relationship with a girl.
I really have told them I'm lesbian but they dont get it!! How else am I mean to tell them??
They keep thinking that once I'm with a man my feelings will change. But I know that they will not. I'm just going to end up ruining his life and that's not fair on him :frown:

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

and if they disown you. let me know, you can spend rest of your life with me 😁

Awww bless you!!! That has made me emotional!! :smile:

Btw are you female and how is your reaction from family?

Reply 10

mgi

Original post by Anonymous

How would your mum know and your dad not know that you are a lesbian? You are caught in a trap here but its your life. No one has a right to predict whether you will be lonely or not. That is so disrespectful. They are not taking you seriously anyway because they dont believe that your life belongs to you so they just ignore the fact that you are not heterosexual. You have taught them accidentally to not respect you because you actually collude with their mess while they do what they like! And yes you can keep saying no! Respecting disrespectful people is a real challenge. Start dating a woman, move out, go to uni, build your own life!

Reply 11

MrMusician95

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I'm a Muslim. A proud Muslim.

I'm so loyal, I can't hurt my parents :frown:

The fact you're gay and Muslim makes no sense to me as homosexuality is not allowed in Islam, how can you he lesbian and a proud Muslim?

Reply 12

black tea

Original post by MrMusician95

The fact you're gay and Muslim makes no sense to me. Islam punishes homosexuals, how can you he lesbian and a proud Muslim?

But she has never been in a relationship with a girl so isn't doing anything wrong?

Reply 13

mgi

Original post by MrMusician95

The fact you're gay and Muslim makes no sense to me. Islam punishes homosexuals, how can you he lesbian and a proud Muslim?

Your bigoted reply is an exact illustration, if she needed another one, of why she needs to move away from people who think like you do. including her own family if necessary. Your statement that "Islam punishes homosexuals" is foolish and senseless anyway. Are you referring to "god"? There is a muslin lgbt celebration next year in London. Thank god. its about time! its nearly 2020!

Reply 14

karl pilkington

Just tell them you like the ladies what's the problem?

Reply 15

Anonymous #5

Original post by karl pilkington

Just tell them you like the ladies what's the problem? Allah was gay remember.

lmao

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Awww bless you!!! That has made me emotional!! :smile:

Btw are you female and how is your reaction from family?

yeah i am a female. My family don't know about this, i just worked hard and moved. i live away from family but still single just because of my faith.niether a man nor a women. i have never told anybody ever what i feels inside. i live in two different words, so i am serious, if they disown you let me know. but i am 100% sure you will not come out and marry a man

Reply 17

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Awww bless you!!! That has made me emotional!! :smile:

Btw are you female and how is your reaction from family?

don't worry. you have to restrain your feelings, this totally understandable but if i suggest you to have an emotional relationship with a women ( you can meet, eat, hangout together) you can love her in allways. just don't get intimate, you will feel good. you wiill not feel doing any sin. Tell your parents you have some goals in life and you'll marry after that, till then you ll definitely find a way like me.

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I'm a Muslim. A proud Muslim.

I'm so loyal, I can't hurt my parents :frown:

please don't indulge in to any discussion about your sexuality and your religion. this will give you more stress.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

How old are you if you dont mind me asking?
And you see in asian cultures most families dont like their daughters to move out, only when they marry can they move out.
I wouldn't be able to move out and still hold relations with my family, if my move out, that's like them disowning me.

No, my family are going to make me marry a man. Theres not much I can do. I HAVE come out to my mum and sisters but they think I'm joking and they are in denial. I have cried when I've told them that I'm lesbian but they just laugh it off they think my feelings will change and that the only reason I feel this way is because I'm not in a relationship with a man yet :frown:

I'm going to just go out with whoever they try and link me up with and I'll just have to put my feelings to one side.... but I will try and make him.not like me because then atleast it wont be my fault if he doesn't fancy me!!
And if he does then we'll just marry but I won't be attracted to him.
I just WISH my family would allow me to be single!!!!!! I'm not saying I want to be with a girl I just want to stay single!!!

Thank you for your help x