Anonymous #1
#1
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i love my parents and i have a good relationship with them but im finding it annoying to come home every weekend and today i had to come home early because there's a strike at uni.

how do i tell them to let me go without sounding rude?
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RogerOxon
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i love my parents and i have a good relationship with them but im finding it annoying to come home every weekend and today i had to come home early because there's a strike at uni.

how do i tell them to let me go without sounding rude?
How far is your university from your parents? I'd probably start saying that you have too much work, or university / friend events, to come home, and see how they react. Assuming that you're over 18, it's your choice. You don't have to be confrontational, but I would phrase what you say so that it is clear that YOU are making the decisions about how you spend your weekends. Good luck.
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Sammylou40
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i love my parents and i have a good relationship with them but im finding it annoying to come home every weekend and today i had to come home early because there's a strike at uni.

how do i tell them to let me go without sounding rude?
Why are you coming home? Because you’re told to?
Send a text saying you need to use the library etc.
There is no need to come home early because of a strike, you could have stayed. How will they know?
Stay at uni but stay in touch. If you went home once a month to start they’ll get used to it
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Anonymous #1
#4
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
Why are you coming home? Because you’re told to?
Send a text saying you need to use the library etc.
There is no need to come home early because of a strike, you could have stayed. How will they know?
Stay at uni but stay in touch. If you went home once a month to start they’ll get used to it
They've told me to. They're not evil and controlling, we've just generally been a honest and very close-knit family and they tell me they miss me when i'm gone, they've broken down to tears in front of me about it several times, I feel so bad for them. granted, i should not have told them i have a strike week - i told them out of honesty and pity.
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Anonymous #1
#5
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(Original post by RogerOxon)
How far is your university from your parents? I'd probably start saying that you have too much work, or university / friend events, to come home, and see how they react. Assuming that you're over 18, it's your choice. You don't have to be confrontational, but I would phrase what you say so that it is clear that YOU are making the decisions about how you spend your weekends. Good luck.
40 mins away. they usually drop and pick me up. i strongly feel that i should be able to do what i want, but they disagree saying "we're not westerners" and strongly feel obliged to our culture. i don't want to hurt their feelings by telling them i want to stay at uni - im living in a house as i got rejected from halls. i don't know how to approach them to get my own way because i feel like i'm being very selfish and inconsiderate.
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Sammylou40
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
They've told me to. They're not evil and controlling, we've just generally been a honest and very close-knit family and they tell me they miss me when i'm gone, they've broken down to tears in front of me about it several times, I feel so bad for them. granted, i should not have told them i have a strike week - i told them out of honesty and pity.
It’s wonderful to hear that you’re all so close. In all honesty that makes it harder all round
I’m a parent and I’ll be honest. I spent days in tears before they started uni, begging them not to go!!!!!
Of course I didn’t mean it.
But when you have a great relationship it’s hard.
In reality what I wanted for my sons was for them to turn into successful independent adults. And they can’t do that if they’re in bubble wrap.
I’d suggest you break free gently. Miss the odd weekend home. Stay in contact and make home visits proper quality time.
They’ll get there on the end
Continue to love each other. Good luck
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Leviathan1611
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"can I stay at uni during the weekends instead of coming back home every week?"

like that.
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Anonymous #1
#8
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
It’s wonderful to hear that you’re all so close. In all honesty that makes it harder all round
I’m a parent and I’ll be honest. I spent days in tears before they started uni, begging them not to go!!!!!
Of course I didn’t mean it.
But when you have a great relationship it’s hard.
In reality what I wanted for my sons was for them to turn into successful independent adults. And they can’t do that if they’re in bubble wrap.
I’d suggest you break free gently. Miss the odd weekend home. Stay in contact and make home visits proper quality time.
They’ll get there on the end
Continue to love each other. Good luck
thank you!
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Dancer2001
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It will probably be easier if you promise to go round for dinner at least a couple of times a week (and try to keep to that promise). This might mean you spend more quality time together, even though you’re not living there.
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Anonymous #1
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update: i'm back home for the weekend and visited some family whose kids are at uni. i explained my situation to them and they had a chat to my parents... now my mum is not even talking to me.
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Sammylou40
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
update: i'm back home for the weekend and visited some family whose kids are at uni. i explained my situation to them and they had a chat to my parents... now my mum is not even talking to me.
She will get over it.
You need to stick to your guns and be firm but fair.
Gradually cut down your visits and try your best to be nice when you’re home, even if the reception is frosty.
Remember, at the heart of her problem is the fact she loves you, you have been close and whilst she wants you to succeed, she is struggling to let go.
You’ll all get there if you want to
Good luck
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