parents control my life (no freedom)

i'm 17 years old and my parents are on my case about absolutely everything. we've recently moved countries, and i'm adjusting well but i struggle at school here and there, nothing major. they've always been strict but i really just want some freedom and room to breathe! this basically sums it up:
- no phone
- no dating or even TALKING about boys
- whenever i tell my younger sister anything private, my parents make her tell them so they find out every detail of my personal life
- no seeing friends outside of school
- no electronics in my room
- bedtime is 8:30
- get walked to my bus stop (which is down the road from my house) and get picked up in the evening
- i got to A-'s and a B+ today and they gave me a lecture about how I'm on the road to failure and turning into a slob even though i've been at a new school and a new country for THREE WEEKS
how do i gain their trust?i could hide it for a while but it's really starting to affect my school and personal life. help... please!!

Reply 1

hunchoM

When you turn 18, be like “I’m an adult now bye”

But like on a serious note, some parents are just very over protective and I guess they just don’t want you to go onto the wrong path because to be honest, it’s very very easy to end up on the wrong path if you hang out with the wrong crowd. And dating? You don’t need no man at 17. Honestly just focus on your studies, become successful and then find a man. Most of the guys at 17 ish make false promises to girls saying that they’ll become something big in the future. The girl ends up marrying him or whatever and all he ends up with is some low qualification and is living off the girl’s income. It’s the reality ygm. They guys who are probably going to become successful in the future and putting their head down and working hard rn, not looking for a girl. And with you lecture on getting A-‘s and B+’s: Parents are always gonna be on your case until you actually become a professional and earn your own money. They just don’t want you to end up not having any income ygm.
I’ve been through this which is why I’m telling you. No matter what they say that might irritate you or whatever, you should make sure that your on the right path to success and that’s it

Reply 2

BlueSoybean

ask your parents what you must do to gain their trust so that you can have more freedom, they're the best people to ask, not us.

Reply 3

A_J_B

Original post by Anonymous

Dating? I don't want to tell you what you should be doing but you don't need it at all

Talk to your parents and see what they are worried about. They are there to support you and love you. They don't want you to go down the wrong path.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by A_J_B

Original post by hunchoM

I only mentioned the dating thing because this guy and I have been going steady and I feel like I can't tell them anything about him. He's extremely smart, a musician and is headed for Oxford so I don't see why they'd disapprove. That's probably just my motivation for posting. He's a rare one and I don't want to ruin things, neither with him or my parents, which I adore.

Reply 5

hunchoM

Original post by Anonymous

If it’s meant to be, you two will be together and no one can stop that. But for now, just take things easy ygm

Reply 6

guong

definitely talk to your parents, ask them why they're acting so strict on you and how you find it really claustrophobic - but don't say this in an insulting way until it's like, time to get emotions out lmao
try and be understanding of them cos i'm sure its hard being a parent and theyre probably just trying their best to protect you, but doing too hard in doing so
in terms of the guy, talk to him aobut your parents just so if you do end up dating, he knows what hes getting into so he can't be like god why do you never see me etc etc
just ask your parents why they feel the need to be overly over protective, and talk about how their behaviour is affecting you and how it makes you feel constantly sh*t and you just want to talk to them or your sister sometimes just like
for someone to talk to and be excited with

Reply 7

A_J_B

Original post by Anonymous

I know this may sound too harsh, but look for freedom and full independence only when you are financially independent.
As of now, tell your parents that you are feeling uncomfortable and see what they say.
I really hope you are not pulling yourself or that guy down.